She Belonged to Spring
by Stella Bomb
Summary: She was gone by the end of spring. [SasuSaku, a little ItaSaku, AU, and probably OOC]
1. Waiting for the Return of Spring

Before we begin... This takes place a few years after the present storyline, so they're in their late teens. Something like 19 years old. 

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[ **Chapter 1: Waiting for the Return of Spring** ] 

Sasuke sat up against his bed, his head leaning heavily against the wall. Silence lingered throughout his blank apartment. After the demise of his clan, Sasuke eventually moved out of the Uchiha home and into his own apartment. Devoid of all personal effects and nearly anything that made a home habitable, Sasuke's apartment consisted of only a bed, a dresser, and a few kitchen items. His apartment was bare... Like so many other things to him, it was empty. 

Emptiness was a feeling familiar to the young man. The demise of the Uchiha clan could have been the cause of that feeling. However, even during that incident, he had never felt emptiness as intense as he did now. The Uchiha massacre filled him with hate and anger more than it emptied him of other feelings. Since that incident, Sasuke followed the self-destructing path of revenge. Revenge was a disease. It spread throughout Sasuke's being, slowly killing his humanity as the years went by. Revenge had been the only thing that mattered to him. It was the only thing that gave him purpose, it was the only thing that gave him feeling, and--as he brought himself to believe—it was the only thing that gave him life. Because he was so narrowly focused on revenge, all other facets of his life seemed to no longer matter to him. By the time revenge had been over with, there was nothing left for Sasuke. Sasuke took on the path of revenge, and in return, revenge took everything else away from him. 

Revenge did not go only as far as to take away his purpose and feeling that it gave to him, it also took away his life. Or rather, his future life. At one point, Sasuke had a conceivable idea of a future set aside from revenge. He imagined that once the deed was done, there would be a new path for him to take; one that allowed him to pursue new goals as well as place him in the company of who he would call friends. But revenge came at a high price. Even that future, the only future he would accept, was taken away. Sasuke was still alive. He lived in his apartment, he had something of a role to play in society, he had other people who would drop in on him once in a while. But the emptiness still existed for him. For reasons of his own, he accepted it. Since and because of revenge, he had come to a point in life where he could move no further. Everything was still, everything was empty. All that was left were a few lingering memories. Some were vague notions of names and faces. Others were vivid images that came back to haunt him. It was as if he were stuck in a bitter winter while yearning for the sweet return of a warmer spring. In this yearning, he would be tricked into seeing a cherry blossom petal float by in the sharp winds of the cold, making him think that a cherry blossom tree was blossoming somewhere. A place warmer and more welcoming than where he was. 

But it wasn't winter, and it wasn't spring either. Spring had already ended a few months ago. 

Sasuke's eyes widened slightly as a cool summer breeze blew against the pale curtain of his window. Past the curtain's swaying, Sasuke caught a glimpse of silky pink hair also swaying in the breeze. He looked away. It was a cold and heavy summer. Or, it seemed that way. Everywhere he went, a chilling breeze seemed to follow him. Everyday seemed to him like a never ending winter. In spite of his sweat, his body was shaking. Looking back past the curtain, he saw nothing but shadows once again. 

Sasuke sat up straight, this time leaning against the wall with his back. He breathed a deep sigh. He slept on a twin sized bed. It was generally room enough for one, but sitting in it alone, Sasuke felt how empty it was. Another summer breeze blew his black strands of hair past his cheek. A delicate female frame began to form beside him. Her slight figure glowed with a certain light as she lay on her side with her back facing him. Short pink hair cascaded on the pillow where it could reach. Sasuke looked down on her, wanting so badly to reach for the silky strands and run them between his fingers. She turned. With her back on the bed, her face tilted towards him. Sasuke gazed upon her features. The curves of her face were illuminated by the filtering moonlight shinging through the window. Emerald eyes gazed back, partly in longing, partly in sadness. Sasuke could only look on. The curtain window swayed again, Sasuke blinked, his gaze still on the empty space beside him. 

*_She didn't lie..._* Sasuke thought *_She promised she would stay by my side, always... And she didn't lie._* 

That girl... Sakura. 

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Author's Note: Yup, I'm at it again. And by now, you can see the SasuSaku hint (come on, now, look at the last line!). I started this one in the middle of writing my previous Naruto fic (Bed Time Stories). The idea started out as something more visual. But since I can't animate, nor can I even draw a decent fanart, I had to write it out. I'm not good at visual descriptions, so bear with me while I try to make up for it with some substance. 


	2. Blown by the Wind

**[ Chapter 2: Blown by the Wind ]**

Hours had passed and Sasuke was still sat up awake. Sleep was an elusive ally. Since the end of spring, he hadn't been able to find it much. It came to him out of pity, only after he'd been awake torturing himself for hours on end. Being alone in his apartment, in his life, not even sleep was willing to be a stable companion. A part of him figured he deserved it. Perhaps it was a punishment. Sinking into his bed, Sasuke leaned his head against the wall as he'd done earlier. It began at the end of spring. 

(begin flashback) 

Sasuke sat on a rock in the familiar training ground. Leaning over with his elbows on his thighs, Sasuke panted for breath. His clothing was tattered, his body was cut and bruised everywhere. A battle had just taken place, but all Sasuke could register was the rising nausea and the throb in his head. Kakashi knelt before him, placing a medical to his side. 

"I don't know how you did it, Sasuke." Kakashi said "But you lucked out. I'm not undermining you as a warrior, you know and I know that your current abilities, strength, and skills still fall behind that of Itachi. But you beat him somehow. It must have been luck." 

Sasuke coughed violently. Tremors of pain began ripping through his body. Falling to the ground, Sasuke's cough began to muffle. On all fours, his muffle coughs continued. With a final gulp, Sasuke spat out a great deal of blood. Waiting for the bout to finish, Kakashi tried to straighten Sasuske up. 

"You're lucky to even be alive." said the sensei.  
"A-am... I really so... lucky?" Sasuke struggled in his utterance. 

Kakashi didn't reply, knowing what Sasuke meant.Revenge had been the only thing Sasuke aimed for, beyond that, the young man had nothing in mind. Kakashi figured Sasuke didn't care so much for living after revenge, especially since he was in such pain at the moment. Kakashi tended to Sasuke's critical wounds. It sufficed for the time being, but he still had to get Sasuke to a hospital. 

"There. Now, let's get you to a hospital. You've had quite a battle, I imagine." 

Sasuke gave a weak nod. After a few moments of thought, Sasuke spoke. 

"... How did everyone else hold up... while I was gone?"  
"Not a lot of people were aware that you were even gone."  
"I see... The rest of the team?"  
"Naruto made quite a reaction at the news. He was ready to go out and find you, but we were able to stop him..."  
"... And Sakura?" 

A moment of silence filled the air before Kakashi made his reply. 

"Apparently Sakura went missing around the same time you were. You said she wasn't with you, right?"  
Sasuke nodded. "We suspect she somehow found out about your disappearance before the rest of us. Something must have happened to her while in your pursuit."  
"I see."  
"Right now we haven't found anything about her current location... But hopefully, she'll turn up." 

Silence filled the air once again. Deciding not to pursue further conversation, Kakashi pulled one of Sasuke's arms over his shoulder, aiding him in the walk back to the village. It had been nearly a week since Sasuke ran off without a trace. By then it was obvious Sasuke did it to exact his revenge, but why he did it so suddenly was unknown to Kakashi. He knew Sasuke wasn't a fool. Sasuke had been well aware that he had a long way to go before catching up to his brother; challenging Itachi at his current level was a reckless move. But the move was made and Sasuke had been lucky enough to even come out alive. Aware of Sasuke's physical state as well as the mental toll of revenge took on him, Kakashi decided to remain silent. Aside from the battle between Sasuke and Itachi, other things had been going on, namely the disappearance of Sakura. Perhaps it wasn't the time for Kakashi to bring any of the other issues up, at least not until Sasuke was in a better condition to take them in. 

"Kakashi-sensei..." Sasuke said blankly.  
"What is it?"  
"How did that story go? The one told by that Chinese client?"  
"The one about mountains?"  
"That one."  
"Let's see... It had something to do with people who had secrets... It is said that if a person has a secret he or she doesn't want to share, that person should climb up a mountain, carve a hole in a tree, tell the secret and cover it with mud. That secret, whatever it may be, will remain there for no one to discover... I don't recall the original context of the story.. I think it had something to do with love or something..."  
"... But that was the one I was thinking of... I think I remember now." 

_Sasuke-kun..._

Sasuke woke up silently gasping for breath, her voice still softly echoing in his ears. He hissed in pain as he felt serverely sore all over. He was sore and he was tired. Staring up from his laying position, Sasuke noted the unfamiliar ceiling. He was in the hospital. It had been one week since he got there. Two weeks since... 

"You're up." a voice said flatly. "It figures. I knew you wouldn't die." 

Sasuke made no answer. The voice belonged to a blonde, blue-eyed ninja. He wasn't in his usual good cheer, though he did try to throw in something to lessen the air. It was a futile attempt though, Sasuke knew what was going on. There was no real reason to be cheerful at all. This caused Naruto to act greatly out of character, even he knew whatever antics he would usually muster up was not appropriate. 

"It's been confirmed that Itachi is dead..." Naruto started "You probably know that since you were the one who..." he paused. For some reason he couldn't finish the sentence. "We haven't come up with a body. Kakashi-sensei said someone from his group probably swiped it..." 

"And Sakura...?" Sasuke inwardly winced at his question. It wasn't painful to just him. Naruto, especially Naruto, was distressed at the news himself. He already asked and got an answer for it, but he somehow had to make sure. As a confirmation, Sasuke had to ask. 

"She went after you when you left. We haven't seen a trace of her since. Itachi set up the moutain you fought on so that it was nearly physically impossible to get through. So we suspect..." 

Again, Naruto was unable to finish. Sasuke was impressed that the hot-headed ninja was even able to control his feelings so well in his report. That he could keep his composure so well while Sakura was actually missing meant one of two things. One, Naruto had gotten better at staying calm. Or two, finding Sakura was hopeless and that there was no use in getting riled up with hopes of finding her. Sasuke wanted to tell himself that he should be impressed, that the latter possibility was the actual case. 

"We'll search for her a little while longer... If a body doesn't come up, then we'll have to assume she's..." 

A long silence. 

"I see." 

Sasuke, Naruto, and Kakashi sat across the table from Mrs. Haruno. The mother of their former ally looked terribly exhausted. Nearly a month had passed and Sakura had yet to be found. 

"I thank you gentlement for coming to visit." she said wearily "Please, have some tea."  
"Thank you." Kakashi said taking the cup they were offered. "It's the least we can do, really." 

He looked towards Naruto and Sasuke. The two had been quiet since they got there. The original intention was to give hope to Mrs. Haruno for the whereabouts of her missing daughter. But Kakashi knew she was dead in their minds. An Anbu team had been disbatched to find her. Three weeks had passed and there was still nothing. 

"We appreciate it. Sakura-chans's disappearance has been very difficult for us, but people around the village have been very kind and comforting... You haven't seen or heard anything about Sakura yet, Kakashi-san?"  
"No, not yet." Kakashi replied.  
"I didn't think so... It has been a while. The Anbu team heading the search checked the area Sasuke's fight occured. A few strands of her hair and shreds of her dress were found, but no body... I don't understand... It's as if a harsh winter wind stayed back to blew away a spring blossom... My dear Sakura-chan..." 

Sasuke watched Mrs. Haruno from his place. Her red-rimmed eyes indicated that she had been deprived of a lot of sleep. She had been crying a great deal as well, probably doing an excess of that to make up for her lack of sleep. 

"Mrs. Haruno..." the dark-hair youth started "If it hadn't been for me... Your daughter wouldn't have..." 

Looking at the distressed state Mrs. Haruno was in, Sasuke found it hard to continue. Scooting back from his place, bowed until his forehead touched the ground. 

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Haruno. Your daughter's disappearance occured because of me..." 

Mrs. Haruno looked at Sasuke's show of humility. She was aware that he wasn't known much for his politeness; the act even surprised her a little. Mrs. Haruno knelt beside him and pulled him up form his bowing position. 

"There's no need to apologize, Sasuke-kun... It is a terrible thing to happen, but you needn't absorb the blame for her disappearance... It's not your fault." 

Sasuke gave Mrs. Haruno a glance. Looking at her state made it impossible for him to smile. 

(end flashback) 

Sasuke sat up straight and turned to the dresser by his side. On it was a small, pink tea-cup with flower petals printed on the side. The inside was rimmed with an evaporated tea stain, the cup had been sitting there untouched for a while. Sasuke could still see the green tea that once filled it up. In its rippling reflection, Sasuke saw a pair of haunting emerald eyes. 

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Author's Note: For those of you who don't recognize it, the whole climb a mountain to barry a secret came from Wong Kar-Wai's movie "In the Mood for Love." I recommend that film if you like art movies. It's slow paced and has no action, but it really is visually stunning.In any case, another chapter long in coming. Expect subsequent chapters to be much the same. These days I've been lazy with fic writing which also explains why I didn't bother to proof read this chapter, sorry to those who are bothered by these things. Also excuse my poor attempts at cheap similies and metaphors; I'm trying. But if you get the gist, it's all good. Again, I'm having fun banging out ideas in these fics, thanks to those who also take the time to read them. Until next time, I bid thee adieu. 


	3. Intersection

**[ Chapter 3: Intersection ]**

Sasuke picked up the cup from his dresser. Examining it closely, Sasuke figured Mrs. Haruno realized the cup was missing. It probably was a good idea for him to return it to her. It would be a better idea for him to visit her and sneak it into a cupboard... But he couldn't do that. Sasuke didn't want to enter the Haruno home again. The atmosphere was too heavy for him. It was full of reminders. Traces of the missing Sakura lingered all over the area. Pictures, possessions, clothing... Even her scent lingered around her room... Sasuke couldn't go there. And also... There was something about the Haruno family that greatly affected him. Sasuke would carry the burden of guilt, one pushed onto him by the grief of the Haruno family. They wouldn't know it... 

But then again, there were a lot of things the Haruno family didn't know... 

Sasuke placed the cup back on the dresser. He decided the pink object would stay with him, among other things. 

_Sasuke..._

Her voice quietly chimed through Sasuke's ears. Looking to his side, her slim figured stood against his bed post. She sat down on the empty space, her back facing him. Sasuke looked at the crevices of her bare shoulders. Her body glowed with a soft white light. It illuminated her quite beautifully while at the same time giving off an eerie feel. It was a heavy feeling Sasuke got every time her image appeared before him. Looking at his memory of her now, Sasuke thought she looked just as he remember last seeing her. Sasuke's hand moved to touch her shoulder. Reaching out, his hand only grabbed air. The room was empty. 

With sleep abandoning him completely for another night, Sasuke decided to head out for a walk. 

It was half past two in the morning. Sasuke's eyelids drooped with a fleeting heaviness. Tiredness pulled his eyes down only softly. He could feel himself be a little tired, but somehow it wasn't enough for him to fall asleep.The sounds of his foot steps and crickets were all that could be heard in the empty neighborhood street. Looking up at the sky, Sasuke let out a forced yawn as he often did during his sleepless nights. He figured forcing yawns would trick his body into believing he should sleep. Unfortunately, it never believed him. 

While wandering aimlessly in his thoughts, the young man stopped at an intersection. It was where the path to his apartment and the path to the Haruno residence split. Sasuke looked towards the direction of Sakura's home and then back towards the direction he came from. From the corner of his eyes, he caught a glimps cherry blossoms floating in the air. Quickly turning back ahead of him, Sasuke's eyes widened. There she stood. With pink hair brushing against a pair of pale shoulders, emerald eyes looked sadly at him. Sasuke gazed at the image before him. Her right arm nervously crossed her stomach and held onto her left elbow. Her lips moved, but no words came out. 

"Saku-" Sasuke reached out for her, but stopped. Looking around him, he found that he was alone. 

Sasuke closed his eyes as memories flooded his mind. 

----------

(begin flashback) 

Sasuke walked along the road with Sakura trailing slightly behind him. After a day of training, the members of team seven walked home. They had already split paths with Naruto whose apartment was in a different direction; now it was only Sasuke and Sakura walking together. As far as Sasuke was concerned, he didn't care whether or not they all walked together at the end of the day. He would have been exactly the same if he walked alone. He did, however, sense that Sakura had a few things riding on these walks, and he understood this for obvious reasons. Everyday Sakura would trail a few steps behind him silently, but Sasuke knew she always had something on her mind each time. Rather than walking to her house, it felt more like she was following him, waiting for the off-shoot chance that something might happen. But nothing ever did. Everyday was a quiet walk where exchanges were few and far between. 

The two reached the next split in their path. Sasuke went ahead towards the direction of his apartment. Sakura, on the other hand, stopped at the intersection. She did so, for some seemingly odd reason, quite intently.Sasuke stopped without turning. He considered what he should expect. A declaration of love. A promise of eternal devotion. Other forms affection and whatnot. He turned around. Sakura stood there timidly with one hand crossed over her stomach and holding onto her other elbow. She was speaking, but he didn't bother to listen. Sasuke already guessed, quite accurately in fact, what she was saying. Even getting down to the specifics of her words, Sasuke knew it would be of no concern to him as far as revenge went. Other than revenge, everything was just talk he didn't feel the need to listen to. By the time Sakura finished, Sasuke gave out an audible sigh. 

"Look, Sakura. I think you already know what I'm going to say just as how I know what you were saying without listening. We've been through this. I have other things on my mind." 

Sakura made no move to stop Sasuke as he turned back towards his path. 

"I know you probably don't care, Sasuke-kun..." Sakura said, stopping Sasuke again "But... That doesn't matter to me."  
"So why do you try?"  
"I don't know... I just do."  
"That's a stupid answer." Sasuke said in his usual clipped tone. "Don't bother with me. You're wasting time." 

Sasuke finally left the intersection, where Sakura stood looking towards him. 

-----

Sasuke convinced Kakashi to train with him during their spare time,his intention--unknown to Kakshi--was to be able to execute one more chidori past his limit. During their session, Sasuke's thoughts began to swell upon his plan of revenge. Thinking about his brother caused him to push harder with raw anger. Eventually it was hard to separate Sasuke's emotion and the use of his own strength. Noting Sasuke's unfocused state, Kakashi told Sasuke to take a break after reaching his limit. As the young man sat on the ground, his thoughts caught up to him. 

_Age, Genin rank. Age 8, ability to use Sharingan. Age 9 Chunin rank. Age 13 Anbu squad leader.  
  
Age 13...  
  
The Uchiha massacre._

Sasuke made an angered grunt. So much strength and skill at so young an age. It seemed no matter how hard he tried, Sasuke felt he could never match that man... And that man... That man had everything Sasuke wanted. That man could have been the perfect role model for him... But why did that man choose to go the other way? And at the age of 13, that man... 

Visions of shadows and sudden flashes of light screeched in Sasuke's mind. Blood splattered. Screams screamed. People Sasuke loved, and people Sasuke thought that man loved, fell. 

Sasuke shut his eyes with increasing hatred. The past would always haunt him, and he felt that he could only fight it is by fixing his future. He could only chase away his anger by getting rid of its source. But at his present state he couldn't. He wasn't strong enough, not yet. Sasuke wanted strength and he wanted as much as he could get as fast as possible. He didn't have time to take it easy. He didn't care if he reached his limit. He wanted to surpass and master his limit because of that man. That man who continues to live and breathe the way the Uchiha clan cannot, the way that _he_ cannot. A part of him was dead already, Sasuke decided. Uchiha Sasuke died and all that was left was a vengeful ghost. So there was no time to accommodate limits. Sasuke had to execute another chidori NOW. 

Sasuke hastily stood up. Lightning began to materialize in his hand. Looking at a large boulder as his designated target, Sasuke charged towards it. As he attempted to generate more power in his hand, Sasuke could feel his body rapidly lose strength. Feeling as though the air were being sucked out of him, Sasuke ignored his pain and continued to accumulate power. As he approached the boulder, he gave a mighty cry. It was do or die for him. Chidori or nothing. 

_This could be it. _

"That's enough, Sasuke!" 

His eyes widened. Kakashi held back a heavily breathing and heavily exhausted Sasuke. 

"Are you in a hurry for your deathbed?!" Kakashi said harshly. 

Sasuke relaxed from his position slightly. However, he was still breathing heavily and was visibly riled up. Sasuke was angry. 

"You don't understand! I **NEED** to be able to execute another one. The my current limit isn't enough!"  
"**YOU** don't understand. You could die if you don't know your limits."  
"Who cares about my limits?! I need power, I need strength! I need to be able to kill that man... That man... He..." 

Sasuke found himself unable to formulate anymore thoughts. At that point he could only feel and not think. The ever perceptive Kakashi understood this. He has seen passion in all its incarnations, including hate, and has felt it himself a few times. But he also understood its consequences, something he was sure Sasuke could not see.Luckily, Sasuke couldn't train in such a manner alone. 

"I'm calling it a day." Kakashi almost nonchalantly.  
"What?!" Sasuke replied "What about my training!?"  
"I don't know about you, but too much training gets to my head."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"I'm going to find a friend and eat out or watch a movie or something. You know, I'm going to enjoy myself. I suggest you do the same." 

Sasuke watched him slightly annoyed and almost shocked. _Do something else other than train?_ How can Kakashi say that even after Sasuke made his point (sort of).Kakashi starting making his way back to the village, but after a few steps he stopped. 

"One more thing, Sasuke."  
"What's that?"  
"There are many paths in life that you can choose to take. Some are entirely different courses, while others intersect into different paths. I know what you are aiming for, and it's your choice to take that way. But if you go about it the wrong way, you'll find yourself one a one way path towards a dead end. It would be best if you found an intersection and go another way."  
After a few moments of silence, Sasuke spoke "You're awfully preachy."  
"No, I'm just giving you advice."  
"Whatever." 

After Kakashi left, Sasuke looked around him. The training grounds were empty; he was alone. A few moments of silence lingered. Then with an inner wince of pain, Sasuke left the training grounds. 

-----

Sasuke stopped at the intersection. 

"Good job with training today." Sakura said coming up from behind "You did well, as usual." 

Sasuke said nothing. He simply stood where the path of his apartment and Sakura's home spilt. 

(end flashback) 

----------

Realizing himself from reminiscing, Sasuke recalled what he was originally doing. He looked around him for a few more moments. 

"Have I chosen the wrong path?" he asked the stars. 

When no answer came, Sasuke went on his way. 

-------------------- 

Author's Note: ff.net is doing some crazy things to the formatting again. If you say anything wrong, ignore it. Nothing much to say here other than thanks to the readers and reviewers. :) 


	4. An Empty Weight

[ **Chapter 4: An Empty Weight **] 

You look just like your brother...

You look just as strong...

Are you going to be like him too?

---------- 

(begin flashback)

The sound of Naruto and Sakura bickering could be heard in the background. Kakashi insisted they all eat out rather than train for the day. Preoccupied with other thoughts, as he usually is, Sasuke excused himself to go to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. Though he didn't care to acknowledge it, Sasuke had a handsome face. Dark hair matched his dark eyes, which changed depending on the situation. The change of eye color was a trademark. Red eyes with three black blades within it. It was the mark of the Uchiha. Few people possessed it. Kakashi, however he obtained it, had one eye. Sasuke had a full set of his own. Standing in the restroom alone, Sasuke's stony gaze looked back at a pair of Sharingan. They were so many things at once for him. Sasuke's heart wrenched. So many of his own features bore a strong resemblance to the legacy of his clan. And to that man... He looked so much like him. The eyes, the hair color, the frame shape...

_You look like your brother... _

_You look just as strong..._

There is no doubt Sasuke also possessed the same strength and skill characteristic of the Uchiha. To Konaha, the Uchiha is a highly revered clan. Hopes ran high for Sasuke. Everyone knew he had been blessed with that skill and power.

_Are you going to be like him too?_

Or perhaps it was a curse. Sasuke had always blamed himself for not being strong enough. Could it have been that that man was just too strong? And because he was too strong he went berserk. Was that incident a result of an evil in that man's heart, or had something else pushed him to do it? Sasuke looked into the mirror which revealed a strong set of Uchiha features. He looked like him. Was he going to be like him? The red eyes that looked back at him made no answer.

The color red, the same color as passion, the same color as anger, the same color as blood.

Sasuke tensed up. He couldn't help it. Looking at his own image reminded him of the image of that man. The resemblance was so strong. Looking at his reflection, he could see the inheritance of strength, or he could see the faint image of the man he hated the most. It was sadly ironic for Sasuke. He hated the man he had the most in common with. He loved his blood for the strength it gave him, he also cursed his blood because it was the same that flowed through the veins to that man. What was he really supposed to think.

At that particular moment, he thought of hatred. Looking at himself in the mirror, Sasuke's fist clenched.

Kakashi watched Naruto take on another bowl of ramen.

"Don't you ever stop?" he asked, leaning his elbow on the table.  
"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto started after slurpping some noddles "you wanted to take us out, but you're not even eating."  
"I think it's because he doesn't want to remove his mask." Sakura whispered.  
"Well, since Kakashi-sensei isn't going to eat, I'll eat for the both of us."  
"I'm not the only one who hasn't been eating." Kakashi said.

Sakura stopped eating for a second and glanced at Sasuke's untouched food. A look of concern crossed her face. He'd been in there for ten minutes.

The sound of shattering glass came from the men's restroom. Without thinking, Sakura got up and bolted for the door, Kakashi and Naruto following behind her. The three burst into the room, Sakura covered her mouth with a horrified gasp.

Across from her stood Sasuke with an extended arm to the mirror before him. His fist was clenched and was dripping with blood; he had punched it. The blood from his fist splattered on the mirror and on his face and arm. Sasuke glared at his distorted image in the shattered glass. He barely noticed Sakura, Naruto, and Kakashi coming to his aide.

----- 

Sasuke and Sakura sat on a covered bench as the nighttime rain poured from the sky. Since injuring his hand in the mirror, Sasuke was told to take it easy until it completely healed. Unwilling to stop training completely, Sasuke decided to go running since he wouldn't need his hands. While running, he found Sakura, who was on a nightly walk herself, and asked her to sit with him.

"What are you doing out in the rain?" he asked.  
"Me?..." Sakura said nervously. She knew, of course, that he was talking about her since she was the only one there. But she felt odd talking to him at the moment. It was the first time Sasuke invited _her_ somewhere with _him_. "I was taking a walk."  
"It's so late."  
"I take walks to calm down when something is bothering me. It's easier to clear my mind when I'm alone."  
"I see."

Sasuke leaned over with his elbows resting on his knees. Having gone out in the rain without an umbrella, his entire body was soaking wet. He spent a few moments trying to squeeze water out from his clothing. Sakura who, with an umbrella, was perfectly dry, looked away. Silence filled the air between them. However, it was not the same silence that followed when they walked home together. It was different now that Sasuke was the invitor. Sakura couldn't help being a little nervous.

"What's bothering you?"

She was so lost in her nervousness that it took her a few moments to realize Sasuke spoke. "Well..." she looked over to his bandaged hands "I'm just worried about a few things."  
"I see."  
"What about you?"  
"I wanted to go for a run."  
"So late?"  
"Since I'm limited to what kind of training I can do, I do a lot of running to make up for it."  
"I see."

Ten minutes passed, again, in silence. Then out of no where, Sakura spoke.

"I have bad dreams sometimes..." Sakura started softly and still a little nervous. Sasuke turned to her half-attentively to show that he was listening "They always take place in the same location."   
"What kind of place?"  
"It's like a plain, an endless one only the ground is of concrete and the horizon is completely black. It's the kind of place were no life is possible. There is no sun, there is no vegetation. It's just a endless, lifeless plain."  
"What kind of dreams do you have?"  
"I have been dreaming about an emptiness. I would be in that plain and there would be an intense feeling of cold and emptiness. There would be nothing in the plain, but I can feel it. It's a sharp feeling of lament that pierces you at the skin. Fear raises in me every time because it's so deep. It's like peering into a deep pit and fearing what it would feel like if I fell into it. Fearing how that might feel as I fall and how that might hurt when I reached the bottom. And I would be overcome with sadness because I'd that isn't the way to live. NO ONE deserves to live like that, in a cold and empty place. NO ONE."

Sasuke thought in silence. Somehow, Sakura's dreams felt familiar.

----- 

"I have a place in my dreams too." Sasuke said as he and Sakura stood in front of the Haruno residence. Again, he caught her on a walk during his nightly jog. Again, they spent some time on a covered bench to sit out of the rain. And again, there was little conversation, but the air wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, Sasuke caught Sakura a few times since the first. Each time he asked to sit with her and each time they spent in quiet. Through the span of those few days, both of them realized it wasn't so much that they couldn't have a conversation. Rather, both sensed something else was always on the other's mind. Identifying that was easy enough, making the connection was the problem. No one wanted to open up scars. Sakura was especially cautious about that with Sasuke. She was very keen on being sensitive to him, though he probably didn't realize he needed it.

"I call it Dead Village." Sasuke continued. Sakura listened intently while being careful about not forcing out what Sasuke didn't want to say. "It's a village full of shadows. All the buildings appear pitch black and pierce up in sharp angles. The sky has no sun, but it's blood red... All my nightmares take place there..."  
"Sasuke..." Sakura said softly, unsure of what else to say.  
"I'd dream of death and murder. People being slashed, blood flying everywhere, screams being screamed... Sometimes I'd be so afraid that I wouldn't be able to move. I'd be stuck in whatever spot I'm in, forced to watch what's happening before me...."

Sasuke looked at a puddle next to him.

"Each nightmare... I've had so many... Sometimes I'm afraid to sleep at night because of it... Maybe that's why I act so cold sometimes, maybe it's because I don't get a lot of sleep... But I wasn't always like this... I didn't always have this kind of nightmare..."

Sasuke's reflection in the puddle rippled from the raindrops. Peering down into his reflection, Sasuke felt himself get tense.

"The nightmares started when that man..."

Sasuke could feel the blood rush to the surface of his skin. Anger began to rise within him again.

"They started when that man fucking massacred his own clan!"

With a burst of rage, Sasuke slammed his right fist into the stone wall of the main entrance. Blood began seeping through the bandages that covered it; his wounds had not fully healed. After a few moments, Sasuke fell to his knees. Sakura bent down to catch him almost simultaneously. She predicted his next few moves. She'd attempted to catch many times in the past; they were merely routine motions at that point. Sasuke wouldn't take notice of her and then move away.

However, it was different. The two stayed in their bent positions for a few moments. The rain began to pour down more heavily. Both of Sasuke's hands held lightly onto Sakura's arm which had been holding him up somewhat. Rather than moving away, he moved towards and into Sakura. Her eyes widened as he pressed his forehead onto her shoulder, his hands still holding onto her arms.

More moments passed in the pouring rain. The two held their partially crouched positions.

"I..." Sasuke began weakly "I don't know where to run..." Sakura felt Sasuke stir a little as he spoke. "I continue to pursue revenge because it haunts me and there is no other way I can escape it. Everything reminds me of him. Even when I'm alone... Whenever I look in the mirror, I see his face instead. Ever since I was young, I looked up to him. People likened him to him. it was set that I would follow his path. Now I can't go any other way, he's someone I will have to face in one way or another..."

Detecting a slight tremble in his voice, Sakura realized he was crying.

"When I think about revenge..." he continued "it's like I'm running after him... But sometimes, it feels like something is chasing me at the same time. And when I feel it, I get scared. I get afraid of the day it catches me... I don't know what to do... The more I run, the farther I feel from reality. It even feels like a part of me... perhaps the real me... was left behind while I was running... It feels so empty running this way... I don't feel like I even have myself anymore..."

Sakura held her position while letting Sasuke silently let out his tears. She bent over as if to further shelter Sasuke. Her expression was sad, but not completely unknowing. His pain penetrated her. As he revealed to her his suffering, she began to feel as if it were her suffereing as well. The sadness in his heart was one she subconsciously knew and felt was already there, it was a feeling she saw in his eyes. The more she saw it, the more she wanted to bear the heaviness of that empty feeling.

After a while, neither knew how much time had passed. But both were tired and both needed to get out of the rain. Sakura reluctantly motioned towards her house, allowing Sasuke to be on his way. As she reached for the handle on the gate, Sasuke's own hand intercepted hers.

"Wait." he said abruptly. "Please... Come with me."

Sakura didn't move. She merely stared before her incredulously.

"Come with me, Sakura... To my apartment...."

(end flashback)

----------

ff.net is doing some funky stuff to the formatting again. I'm not going to bother very much with trying to fix it. If you get what's going on with the story, we're in good shape. : )

Ah, another big delay in the chapters. To tell the truth, in addition to being kind of busy, I've been having a hard time writing this story up. I promise a few big things in later chapters, but because of that, writing these early chapters is getting a little difficult. I know it's taking a long time for this story to progress, just hang in there with me. It'll end... someday.


	5. A Strange Affair

[ **Chapter Five: A Strange Affair** ]

Sasuke continued to walk along the road, the sleepless fatigue still weighing down his eyes. He didn't have a specific destination and he didn't care. Sleep wasn't going to make friends with him for a while, so it didn't matter whether or not he was going somewhere.

He thought with the faintest smile about the night he asked Sakura to stay with him. It was a cliché thing to say, especially for him. At that time he meant it, although not with the same sentiments most other people say those words. He didn't want to be alone that night, so he asked her to stay with him. Her actions were somewhat predictable. She was immensely hesitant towards the idea. Sakura was a good girl. She may have been out late a night taking walks, but she was sure to go home to her parent's home. Going to Sasuke's apartment was not a good girl thing to do, but she said yes anyway. That was a Sakura thing to do; for Sasuke, anything. He was surprised, however, at her actions as she entered his apartment. She asked who was sleeping on the couch and who was sleeping on the bed. Sasuke soon realized Sakura set her boundaries. As desperate and hopeless as Sakura may have seemed to him, he found that night that she did have some pride to retain. Despite what going to his apartment implies, despite all the times she confessed her feelings towards him, despite all that he knew about her, Sakura wasn't going to throw herself at him. Sasuke could tell by her voice that she wouldn't have had even if he asked her to.

It was somewhat surprising, and somewhat not. After all, Sakura was a good girl.

She wasn't stupid.

A cherry blossom petal drifted at the corner of Sasuke's eye. Turning around, he glanced at a street lamp glowing in the darkness. The faint image of Sakura backed against it began to form, the image of her mother scolding her soon followed. Sasuke walked to the street lamp and leaned against it. Look up at the light above him, he recalled how Sakura handled the situation. Although it seemed like Sakura was breaking down underneath her mother's pressure, soon after the scolding Sakura coolly made a few remarks about ninja training being intensified and how she lost track the night before. Sasuke was surprised that Sakura was able to convince her mother that it was likely to happen again and that she, Sakura's mother, shouldn't worry if that was the case.

From that point on, Sakura was able to come and go more or less at her will. From that point on was the beginning of their strange affair.

---------- 

(begin flashback)

The two stood at the intersection where their paths diverged. Sasuke said nothing, but stood still in his place. He turned his head slightly towards Sakura's direction before moving towards his apartment. A few moments later, Sakura also moved, her steps taking her further and further away from her own path.

----- 

Sasuke faced Sakura who stood leaning against a wall in his apartment. She looked back at him intently, almost as if asking "What can I do for you?"

He wasn't sure of what she could do for him. It only occurred to him to have her there.

Sasuke brought out a sheet from his room and laid on his couch. He was undecided on what he wanted, and he was tired.

"I don't know, Sakura." he said in answer to the tacit question "Just be here."

----- 

Sakura and Sasuke stood in Sasuke's apartment kitchen. It was midnight. Darkness crept about the entire premise. The streetlight from outside provided only a dim glimmer inside the apartment. Equally present was silence, the only sounds were the buzz of the streetlight and the quiet breathing of the people inside.

The two stood close in a frozen embrace. Sasuke's hands rested lightly on Sakura's hips, his head placed on her right shoulder. Sasuke had an outburst. The kind of outburst he has when he's alone, the kind of outburst similar to the day he punched the restaurant mirror and the night he'd caught Sakura on a walk. He would usually be alone when he reacts to his emotions that way. After all, he was the master of maintaining a cool exterior. But as of late, Sasuke was having a hard time keeping his emotional bouts to himself, particularly when Sakura was around. Actually, it occurred only when Sakura was around. It was something Sasuke couldn't explain to himself, neither was it something he tried to fight. Somehow he felt he had to have Sakura there.

True, the ill feelings still stirred within him. Sakura could do nothing to completely rid him of his suffering. Even as he stood in her arms, Sasuke could feel his aching lament weigh him down. Hatred, anger, fear, and sadness had truly become, or so it seemed to him, that which circulates through his veins. It is, after all, what gave him life. Although Sakura had to be there, she couldn't change that part of him. Sasuke was sure of it. Revenge and everything linked with revenge is a thought that can never be forgotten, nor can it be put aside even for just a moment. As he stood in Sakura's arms, he thought about revenge.

It is amazing, however, what a person notices while drowning in his or her own pain. Sasuke lifted his head to look at Sakura. She merely looked back at him. They have been in similar situations before. In all previous incidents, nothing happened. Sakura wasn't expecting anything. When Sasuke's hand lifted to touch her face, Sakura continued to look at him, but in still shock. Her eyes widened slightly as his finger traced over her lip, as if it were the first time he noticed it was there. The ravages of Sasuke's anger continued to swirl in his mind and body, but, he noticed, Sakura's lips were there at the same time. The correlation between the two was unclear, but both were the only things he noticed. Pain and Sakura's lips.

He had to go for it.

Briefly looking at Sakura's eyes, Sasuke moved for Sakura's lips. He did so without warning. Though his earlier motions hinted at this action, he didn't ask when he did go for it, nor did he pause to see if Sakura was okay with it. The thought of her permission didn't even occur to him as the moments passed by.

Sakura turned away. Completely away. With her back towards him, Sakura took a few steps forward, her hands covering her mouth. Sasuke only looked on at her in vague wonder.

"I..." Sakura began "I can't kiss you like this..."

Sasuke said nothing.

"It isn't fair... Not for me, and not for you... I can't kiss you..."

Of course... Sasuke thought, regaining his conscious self again You're a good girl, Sakura... Of course. Of course.

Sasuke forced a weak smile of understanding. "It's getting late," he said "you should go to bed."

----- 

Sasuke watched Sakura sleep in his bed as he leaned on the door of his room. A blank expression pervaded his face, his thoughts, as always, were elsewhere. He glanced at himself through a near by mirror. A familiar rage began to rise in him again. Sasuke closed his eyes tightly, making a vague attempt at controlling the anger inside of him, but to no avail. He let out a frustrated breath and headed outside.

Sakura turned in Sasuke's bed. Roused from her sleep, the sound of grunts coming from outside slowly began to register in her mind. Without even looking, Sakura could guess what was going on. Judging by the intensity of the grunts and the fact that she could literally hear the physical movements, she had the idea Sasuke was frustrated and started training to deal with. She got up to open the window which looked over the vacant lot where Sasuke trained. His head turned towards her slightly to acknowledge her presence and continued training again.

After a while, Sakura couldn't get herself to sleep. She instead decided to watch Sasuke train. He glanced at her direction again. She sat by the window drinking out of a pink tea cup. Sakura didn't need to bring many things with her while staying with Sasuke, but she did insist on bringing her tea cup and leaving it there. It was her only belonging which remained in Sasuke's apartment after she left. After closing his eyes again, Sasuke continued his training. It was mostly punch and kick repetitions into the air. Sometimes Sasuke would employ a specific move he'd been taught by Kakashi or something he'd picked up using his sharingan. Whenever he did so, he'd do it seriously, as if he were truly attacking an opponent. Luckily, no one was around.

Heavy clouds began to form in the sky. Sakura watched as Sasuke's movements began to intensify. As more time passed, the more absorbed in his thoughts he seemed to be, and the more fierce his movements became. Sakura watched with slight worry. Sasuke moved as if he were intent on tearing a muscle without realizing it. He approached an old tree and started attack it swiftly and with as much power as he could muster. The wind began to pick up, but Sasuke paid it no attention. After a few hits he hopped back two steps. Then, with a mighty stomp forward, Sasuke punched the tree in the center of its trunk. Although it was merely a tree, it seemed as if Sasuke had found its weak point. Sakura watched him as a paused for a moment. He felt a slight stinging sensation on his fit. A large splinter from the crevice his punch created tore a little of his skin. Sasuke watched the blood seep through. Red blood.

His eyes narrowed.

A low thunder began rumbling in the distance, it was about to storm. Still not paying attention, Sasuke unleashed a flurry of attacks upon the tree. Each punch and kick was executed with such strength and power that it broke of more and more of the trunk. It was very likely that Sasuke was going to tear it down. Sakura watched in worry as each attack created more wood pieces which tore little by little on Sasuke's skin, but he paid it no notice. What truly worried Sakura was the manner in which he attacked. Sakura could see the anger and frustration in each attack. His emotion engulfed him to the point where he didn't even realize exactly what he was doing. It soon came to the point where his power remain consistent, but his attacks gained a feel of desperation. He was just blindly attack with all his power and emotions. Sasuke was not attacking a tree, he was attack something else. He was attacking an inner demon that controls and haunts him at the same time. Using so much power so desperately was taking a toll on Sasuke's body, but he didn't quite realize his own physical pain. He seemed beyond the reach of anyone outside of this trance, even himself. In this trance, Sasuke did move to check Sakura at the window. His flurry of emotion and power was not deterred, but he still had to look. The window was empty. Sasuke was still without his own thoughts. Caught in his motions, he continued to attack the tree, which was barely still standing. His blood was pumping, and his mind steadily lost itself.

"...-uke..."

Sasuke vaguely heard his name in the distance, but he continued with his actions. He breathed heavily as he moved. He'd been out there for a while. Physically he was exhausted, a large amount of his chakra had already been spent. But his mind was not ready to stop yet.

"...Sasuke..."

This time, he fully heard and registered his name being called. But he didn't stop. He felt as if he couldn't stop. The voice calling him remained in the distance. His mind still intent on the tree, or rather, his inner demon. The anger in him began to rise again. He held his right hand behind him, a slight crackling sound could be heard. Sasuke took a step back and thrusted a pre-chidori punch in the direction towards the tree. At that very moment he voice was called.

"SASUKE!!!"

His eyes widened as pink hair suddenly appeared before him. With little time to react, Sasuke retracted his attack as fast as he could.

The snap of contact reverberated through the night air. Sakura was thrusted onto the floor. She immediately clasped onto her right arm where Sasuke made contact. Covering the red welt that began to form, Sakura did her best to hide how physically hurt she was.

"I think..." she said hesitantly while still on the ground "... you should take a break..."

Sasuke stood in shock. He didn't know what to do or feel. From the ground, Sakura looked up at him. Her face looked a little shocked and a little afraid, but it seemed mostly that she was asking him to finish up for the night. Rain drops finally started falling to the ground. Looking about him, Sasuke wordlessly agreed.

...

Sitting on the couch, Sasuke wrapped bandages around his fists. He silently watched Sakura move from the bathroom to the bedroom. She stood next to the bedroom door for a few moments before closing it. She shot Sasuke a questioning glance, asking if he was going to be okay. He gave her a slight nod.

"Wait." he said as she closed the door "Do you think I can sleep in my own room tonight?"  
"Sure." she said without a moment's hesitation. 

She stepped back into the room for Sasuke to follow. As he walked in, however, she walked out holding a bed sheet and pillow. He turned towards her as she positioned herself on the couch.

"I meant, do you think I can join you tonight?" 

Sakura looked at him hesitantly. She thought she had already explained.

"I know what you're thinking..." Sasuke said "But that's not what I have in mind... Nothing is going to happen, I promise. I just need you to be right there... Please."

...

Sasuke laid on his side wide awake. Sakura agreed to sleep with him after he had convinced her nothing would happen. He knew and she knew he wouldn't do something like that after she specifically said she wouldn't even kiss him. As further proof, Sasuke slept on top of the sheets while she slept underneath them. He looked at her exposed shoulders and upper back. She brought sleeping clothes with her along with her tea cup, essential items to bring when in another person's home. She wore a plain white cotton shirt with thin shoulder straps and a pair of white cotton boxer-like shorts with a small cherry blossom embroidered on the lower edge. Sasuke looked at the soft image before him. Every fine detail imprinted itself onto his memory without apparent reason. He merely looked and remembered.

Sasuke yawned while shifting onto his back. He tried settle his thoughts on something that wouldn't keep him up. Shifting again onto his other side so the he faced away from Sakura. He closed his eyes. A fully developed sharingan icily stared back at him. Sasuke went tense in response; sleep was being relentless that night.

A gentle weight pressed onto his side. Glancing over his shoulder, Sasuke saw Sakura facing towards him with her arm extended into something of a lose embrace. She opened her eyes and gave him a faint smile. Looking back at her, Sasuke closed his eyes and gradually fell asleep.

(end flashback)

---------- 

Sasuke shifted his weight away from the street lamp and continued his aimless walking. He recalled the night he accidentally struck Sakura and the expression she gave him afterwards. At that very moment, he knew Sakura was scared of him. She was calling out to him as she ran towards him, but he couldn't control his focus until the last few seconds. He knew she was aware of the kind of damage that could have happened and how something like that was liable to happen again. It would have been alright if she stopped seeing him so that there would be no "again." But she didn't. She kept on coming to him despite that fear of possibility. There were something about him that wasn't as iron-clad as his usual cool exterior. She'd seen it and even felt it on the surface. They both knew what lay below the surface was even more fearsome. It could have been worse for Sakura

Looking up ahead, Sakura's faint image appeared before him. She stood there waiting for him, then after he came closer she turned ahead of her and started walking, as if she were leading him somewhere. Sasuke followed, not caring whether or not the Sakura he saw was real. After a few minutes of following her, he soon realized where she was heading. Upon discovering this, the image of Sakura faded. Now with a set destination, Sasuke continued walking.

It could have been worse for Sakura... he thought In fact, it did become worse...

--------------- 

Author's Notes: Just for clarification, the different scenes within the flashbacks occur an unspecified amount of time after the previous one. How much time that passes between scenes isn't very important, just know these scenes don't happen in the same night, nor do they really occur one night after another. They're spaced out. That's a little detail I like putting in my stories, it's kind of like a routine for them.

And as always, I'd like to thank the readers and reviewers for taking the time to read this poop. I really appreciate it. :)


	6. Secrets of a Still Heart

[ **Chapter Six: Secrets of a Still Heart** ]

Sasuke stood at the foot of a hill which overlooked the landscape of Konaha. At the top of the hill was a line of trees where cherry blossoms usually bloomed during the spring. Sakura was the one who'd shown him this spot. Somehow he knew that was where her image meant to lead him. It was the only time he'd followed her. He couldn't remember why she took him there, but he followed her without much thought.

Sakura told that hill was a fairly popular spot when the cherry blossoms were blooming, but during other seasons they were usually empty. She enjoyed going there during other seasons for the peace and quite. She also explained to him a few things about cherry blossoms. Cherry blossoms bloom depending on location and weather. The warmer the location, the sooner they bloom. Cold weather tends to shorten the blooming of cherry blossoms.

"_Coldness is what kills a cherry blossom..._"

Sasuke recalled her words with a slight wince. Thinking back to them, her words seemed rather piercing. It sounded painfully true even though she was only talking about cherry blossoms.

Sasuke reached the top of the hill. He didn't care so much about the location at the time. The blooming of cherry blossoms still weren't of much interest to him. He took a seat in front of one of the trees, leaning his back on the trunk. It was early spring when Sakura brought him to that place, about a week before they actually bloomed, and a few months before spring had ended.

_The end of spring..._

When spring had ended, it took away with it the cherry blossoms. It took away his cherry blossom. Sasuke let out a sad laugh. He was blaming the season for misfortune was not entirely guiltless of.

The strain of his fragmented memories began to settle in Sasuke's mind.

---------- 

(begin flashback)

Sakura slept quietly next to Sasuke who watched her blankly at a distance. A stony peace settled in the room. It wasn't necessarily a calm peace. It was more like a frozen state of peace, one defined only by the absence of chaos. But...The stillness was enough for Sasuke as he lay there watching Sakura. He watched her sleep quietly amidst this still peace.

A pair of blood red eyes opened in the watching darkness.

Sasuke froze.

...

The beating of Sasuke's heart kept him up that night. Sasuke sensed _him_. _His_ presence was there, and _he_ was watching. So many thoughts raced through Sasuke's mind, but he could catch only a few. That man was there and he was watching. For what reason was beyond Sasuke, but that was the least of his worries. He glanced at Sakura who remained sleeping.

What really worried him was what that man had seen.

----- 

The ground blurred as Sasuke stared down at it. Parts of him were throbbing, other parts were aching, and the rest he just didn't have the capacity to think about at the moment. Sasuke lifted his head up to face his opponent. Itachi stood before him calmly and unscratched.

...

Sasuke wasn't thinking. He couldn't think. The mere thought of that man froze every reasonable part of him and replaced it with a mix of complex feelings which killed all the ninja tact Sasuke had been honing all his years. Sasuke couldn't think. He could only feel his anger, his hatred, his sadness, and his confusion. It all mixed together and exploded violently within him. In the wake of the explosion, Sasuke couldn't pay attention to anything else. Sasuke could only respond to the desire to kill that man.

Stuck in the act of a desperate man, Sasuke readied himself to execute chidori once more. He'd tried it twice already, meaning he had passed his limit. But as a desperate man, Sasuke had to give it another try. After accumulating what he felt was all the power he has, he charged towards Itachi. The brightness of the energy in his palm blinded Sasuke slightly. Behind the light, Sasuke could only barely see Itachi. As he approached the still Itachi, Sasuke let out a battle cry.

_This is it..._ Sasuke thought to himself. _This is everything..._

A flash of pink appeared in the corner of his eyes just as he made contact.

...

Sasuke stood above Sakura, who lay nearly motionless on the ground. Her journey to the area had beaten her down, but she made it to her destination... However, that was as far as she was going to go. She looked up at Sasuke. Cuts and bruises covered her body, blood streamed down from her forehead and mouth. A large gash slashed across her chest, the wound most recently inflicted. She shook in pain. Her hands searched for a spot of pain to clutch onto, but her whole body ached.

Sasuke looked at her with still shock.

Sakura, on the other hand, forced a faint smile. Motioning towards the still body of Itachi she gave as an encouraging look as a person seriously wounded can give.

"You did it..." she said faintly as if she wasn't saying it "You did it..."

As Sasuke began to bring together thoughts about what had just occurred. Falling to his knees, he leaned over towards Sakura Sakura's eyes began welling up with tears. The pain she felt soon began to surface as she began to seriously consider that she was dying.

"Sakura..." he said almost choking on his words "Sakura I..."  
"This isn't what I thought it would be like..." she said "This isn't a clean and easy thing to go through... Blood, sweat, and dirt... Dying is dirty business..."

Her tears fell as she closed her eyes. After a few moments, an expression of sad understanding descended upon Sakura's face. She turned towards Sasuke and looked directly into his eyes.

"You did it..." she said for the third time "... You've achieved your goal..."  
"Sakura..." Sasuke was still at a loss for words.  
"... You don't have to take the blame for me..." she said, her voice growing more and more quiet "... You can't..."  
Sasuke looked at her in deeper shock.   
"... You can live now... So do it... Sasuke-kun..."

Her final word rolled of her lips as a whisper and was the last thing Sasuke heard before collapsing to the ground. The weight of exhaution kept Sasuke from moving. As darkness rapidly took over his mind, Sasuke peered ahead of him from his position laying flat on the ground. Blood was splattered everywhere; whose blood belonged to whom was difficult to decipher, but at that point it didn't matter. Two bodies laid motionless before him. One belonged to Itachi, the other to Sakura. Sasuke's vision began to blur as he slipped into a state of unconsciousness. The last thing he saw as he closed his eyes were a few falling cherry blossom petals caught in a strong cold wind.

(end flashback)

---------- 

Standing before one of the cherry blossom trees, Sasuke carved a hole about the size of a fist. He pressed his forehead against the trunk of the tree, letting out a heavy sigh. After a few moments, Sasuke drew his face towards the hole. He spoke with one hand held to the side of his mouth as if to shield off other people from hearing him.

"A small section of Konaha continues to search for Haruno Sakura. The Haruno family, her friends, her teachers have been searching for her for months... No one wants to admit it, but it would be safe to say they are really searching for her body. As far as Konaha goes, Sakura is unofficially dead. The unofficial explanation is that she died trying to get to me..."

Sasuke paused with a painful silence.

"I can't disagree with the notion Sakura that is dead... But that's mostly because I am the one who killed her... I can't explain the disappearance of her body, but I know for sure she died by my hands. To this day, I owe her my life... Out of concern for her, I approached that man and I defeated him... But his death was not the only death my hands had brought. Sakura died because of me... A final chidori had ended her life... And now... Now I live by her words... I can live now, she said, so I'm doing it... This is my secret. No one is to know, just as the dying Sakura had wished it..."

Sasuke stepped down from the tree and started towards his home. He thought about his final fight with Itachi and the last words of Sakura. Sasuke's heart never beat so fast since the night he sensed Itachi at his apartment. In fact, his heart has hardly stirred since those events. Everything had become still for Sasuke since then.

Sakura's image would appear before him, as if to check if he was making good on her wish. He was. All Sasuke could do was go on living as Sakura has asked; it was the only thing he had left.

--------------- 

Author's Notes: a lot of build up was going into this chapter. For those of you who saw this coming, touché. I can sit here and blabber on and on about this chapter, but I won't. Just note that this isn't the last chapter. We've a long way to go...


	7. Role of the Avenger

[ **Chapter Seven: Role of the Avenger** ]

_She was born on March 28. Her eyes were a clear bright green, just like mine. On the day she was born, I looked into them with such pride and joy... And her hair... A very soft and very feminine tone of pink... Her distinct hair and eye made her name an obvious choice... Haruno Sakura... A beautiful flower generally known for belonging to spring... But the Sakura I held in my arms on March 12 would be one that would bloom all throughout the years..._

The low rumble of thunder rolled through the rainy distance as Mrs. Haruno sat before a mirror silently weeping to herself. In her hand was a picture of the missing Sakura... Or, the now officially dead Sakura. It had been three years since Sakura first disappeared. After three years and no progress, Haruno Sakura was declared dead. That day had been the day of her "burial", or, more precisely, her ceremony. A group of friends and family gathered together and set up a small monument since they had no body to bury. It was a gloomy day. The dull summer of that year was long gone, and the fast approaching winter left they weather in gray gloom, a perfect compliment to the mood of the day. The day was long, gray, and heavy. Many people already accepted Sakura's death, but the loss was still as heavy as if it were the first time they realized the young woman's demise.

Mrs. Haruno kept the light of her room off while sitting before her bedroom mirror. The occasional flash of lightning would light up the room momentarily. She cried a mother's grief. A ceremony was done, but it's just a novelty for the mourners. According to religious rites, Sakura's spirit would remain restless until her body receives a proper burial. As a mother, Mrs. Haruno wanted at least that much for Sakura. Also, because no body was recovered, she didn't even get the chance to say good-bye to her daughter's face. It hurt her to be deprived of that. Mrs. Haruno knew her tears would continue to fall until she was able to give a proper good-bye.

A faint rustle could be heard behind her. Mrs. Haruno turned around to see who was there, but she saw nothing. Turning again to look at her mirror with sad, unfocused eyes, she thought she saw cherry blossoms falling outside the window in the reflection. She turned around again. A silent gasp escaped her mouth.

----- 

Sasuke stood next to Kakashi and Naruto as they watched the body of Mrs. Haruno be buried into the ground. On the night of Sakura's ceremony, the Haruno's neighbor, who had been lingering in the house for moral support, was walking through the hallway when she heard Mrs. Haruno's voice and a faint thud coming from the room. The neighbor entered and found the body of Mrs. Haruno with a clean and carefully placed slash around her neck.

The news of Mrs. Haruno's death did not spread quickly. The news was too devastating and too tragic for it to spread around like a common rumor. The official death of Sakura, followed by the death of her mother spelled a grief so deep and so heavy that it couldn't move about. It's a sadness friends and family of the now deceased women kept to themselves.

The cause of death was unknown, but many suspected suicide. Of all that knew Sakura, Mrs. Haruno was hit the most with the young woman's disappearance. As the days passed since Sakura first disappeared, Mrs. Haruno grew more and more weary. She slowly lost her energy and zest for life. All hope was gone on the day of the burial. It violently ripped opened a wound that had been bleeding for three long years. It made sense to many that Sakura's mother would simply end it all. 

As the crowd moved away, Sasuke leaned against a nearby tree looking at Mrs. Haruno's grave. His eyes narrowed with skepticism. After a few moments of looking ahead, Sasuke walked back to his apartment.

----- 

Why do you do these things?

I am an avenger...

---------- 

(a few weeks later)

Sasuke stood before a nondescript area. It looked like it could have been any street in any given village, except it wasn't in a village; it was just a long road that ran for about a mile. He stood at the beginning end of a long dirt road lined by various vendors and two inns, each inn was located at opposite ends of the road. At the end opposite from where Sasuke stood was a somewhat closed-off path to a small mountain forest which held a few abandoned homes. The end he stood on ran into another road, the main road for travelers, which was lined perpendicular to the road on which the vendors and lined. This road ran parallel to the mountain and was where most of the passing travelers came and went. Sasuke couldn't recognize the area; it was not within the boundaries of any country or district he knew of.

Sasuke was traveling alone on an unofficial mission. At this point, he was an Anbu member, but he was given a lot of slack as to what he does. Since the burial of Mrs. Haruno, Sasuke thought about making some use of himself. It was thought that Sakura's mother committed suicide, but Sasuke wouldn't buy it. No one bothered to look for the blade left behind, and more suspiciously, the window was open. Sasuke took it upon himself to look for Mrs. Haruno murderer, whom he believes is connected with Sakura's disappearance. It was the least he could do for the two, he figured. He and Naruto were both looking for this killer, or killers depending on the situation. This unofficial mission was unofficially approved by the proper authorities. The mission was considered unofficial because affairs concerning the Haruno's were considered finished; Sakura was already dead and Mrs. Haruno killed herself, most believed. The authorities concerned knew Sasuke and Naruto were acting for personal reasons and decided to allow them to proceed. Also because it is an unofficial mission, the two worked separately. They had a number of different official missions that had to be accomplished as well. Because of this, it was easier for them to work separately.However, although they worked separately, they were on the same trail. Although Sasuke was alone, he knew Naruto would end up in the same area eventually simply because the clues lead them there.

Sasuke didn't think he (himself) would be around for very long. What he really needed to do was find out where he is so he can leave for the next village.

"Sir." he said grabbing the attention of a fish vendor in a near-by stall.  
"Why hello, young man!" the vendor said immediately setting up his sales pitch "Interested in mountain fish?"  
"Well, sir..." Sasuke said, not interested in any fish "I'm no-"  
"I tell ya," the vendor interrupted "fresh water fish taste like none other. Not a lot of people live here, so the enviroment stays cleaner than most. Because of that, the animals are more fresh and more healthy. They make great meals! What do you think, young man? Can I interest you in any?"  
"No, I've already had a meal. You see, I-"  
"That's alright!" the vendor said, obviously a talkative one "This stuff is really fresh, I tell ya. They last for days before degrading!"  
"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not looking to staying in any one place for very long. I've got a lot of things to do."  
"Well, I understand that, son. You do seem like someone important with obligations... Let me guess, you're a ninja of some sort, eh?"  
Sasuke looked down at his Anbu garb and then back at the vendor "Yes, that's right."  
"I thought so! We've had a few ninja types pass through this village. And I swear some of them even stick around here for quite some time. Of course, I can't really say for sure since they tend to be stealthy. I mean, they are ninjas after all!"   
Sasuke gave a faint smile at the vendor's humor. However, he was in a hurry and he had things to do. "Yes, but back to what I meant to ask."  
"Oh yes, of course. Go on, go on!"  
"Where am I?"  
"I figured you'd say something like that. A lot of people don't know what this place, even the locals... Well, I wouldn't say there are locals, just people who pass by. It's kinda funny how that happens, actually. The unofficial name of the area is Feint Village. The area was not officially a village or town; it is an area travelers generally pass through. In fact, the unofficial name was derived from that characteristic. It's unofficial name, created out of novelty by the vendors who sell there. Because the 'village' is the kind most people would simply pass through, memories of that village remain faint. The area was unmarked on the map, no one knows it actually exists, and really no one actually cares. It is, after all, the kind of place most people merely pass through. Take a look at this flyer; see how little emphasis there is on the location?"  
Sasuke looked at the flyer and noticed that "feint" was spelled "feint" instead of "faint".  
"Sir, why is it spelled 'f-e-i-n-t' when the village is faint, as in 'f-a-i-n-t'?"  
The vendor gave a sheepish smile. "It really depends on who you ask. For some the village is feint, and to others it is faint."  
"I see... Thank you, sir."

Stepping away from the stall, Sasuke looked up at the sky. _There might be information to be had around here,_ Sasuke thought _especially since the people around here are travelers._ He looked up the road to assess the area. There was just the road and the closed off path into the mountains; no one appeared to be occupying the homes on them. He decided to stay at least for the night.

...

Sasuke walked along the crowded road, observing the area's dynamics. Most travellers who stop by seem to walk along one side of the road checking out the vendors, and walk back on the other side before going on their way to the main road. People also checked in and out of the inns as they needed. The vendors didn't seem like they lived there. Like the travellers, they came and went as convenient. The only people who seemed to stay consistently were the inn keepers. He observed the crowd move about the area. It was a medium sized crowd walking about the streets. The people walking the streets varied greatly in looks and stature, but the mix was so great that it was hard to tell the difference. It was the same difference, as the saying goes.

The numerous bodies walking busily from one stall to the next droned in Sasuke's eyes, making it difficult to focus. He shut his eyes in an attempt to concentrate. After a few moments, Sasuke walked to the side of a stall where he leaned with his eyes closed in order to clear his mind. He leaned his head back against the wall.

_What am I doing here?..._ he thought _It always feels like I'm here for a different reason..._

As he slowly opened his eyes, Sasuke saw from the corner of his eye cherry blossom petals caught in the wind. They disappeared as he turned to walk towards them. He stared ahead, and again cherry blossoms appeared in the corner of his eyes. Following them with a little more haste, Sasuke walked back onto the road in the direction of the small mountain. He slowly walked towards the end of the road, not quite sure of where he was heading to. Strolling behind the flowing crowd, a flash of pink caught his eye.

She appeared before him. He made out her figure walking with her back towards him twenty feet away. Something was different about her image, but Sasuke couldn't tell from that distance in the crowd. She disappeared as she neared the end of the road. Sasuke put on an expression of slight realization.

_Is this where you want to lead me?_

---------- 

Author's Notes: There are a few things about this chapter, but the only one I'm going to mention is the whole "feint/faint" thing. The problem here is that Naruto takes place in some kind of Japan and the "feint/faint" thing is a play on English words. I apologize for that inconsistency, but I think it's clever, so it's staying.

Other than that, thank you for taking the time to read this. Despite the long periods between chapters (I really have to rack my mind for this fic, really), I promise it will get done.


	8. More Real Than a Dream

[ **Chapter Eight: More Real than A Dream** ]

Sasuke reached the end portion of the road. Sakura's image led him there, but from that point he wasn't sure of what to do. He observed the area a little more. At the very end of the road, just before the closed-off mountain path, were small paths on both sides. One side was completely closed off, the other, like the path to the small mountain, was only partially cut off. Peering into the path with the partial opening, Sasuke saw what appeared to be a back alley.

Before setting foot in the back alley, Sasuke's stomach growled. It was almost three and he hadn't eaten since he woke up that morning. Deciding to get a bite to eat, Sasuke entered a food vendor's stall. It was a noodle shop, the kind of place Naruto would go to. The stall was crowded with hungry travelers, leaving no seats available for Sasuke. Not wanting to bother any of the eaters, Sasuke stood and waited for one of the customers to finish. Sasuke's face began to moisten from standing in a semi-covered stall with a large crowd and a busy kitchen in the back. Steam rose from boiling water, causing the humidity in the enclosed stall to rise. Uncomfortable though he was, Sasuke continued to wait. His hunger was enough to drive him to stand through anything.

After five minutes, Sasuke noticed a body near the side get up from the seat. He walked towards the moving body in order to close in on his target. The body stood up and to the side so that Sasuke could take the seat. After a few long moments, someone else took the seat. Sasuke and the original occupant of the seat stood still before each other.

"Sakura..." he whispered inaudibly.

Sasuke looked at Sakura with wide eyes. His face was so shocked that it didn't even know what meaning to express. Sakura looked at him and gave him a faint smile. Looking past his shoulder, Sakura walked out of the stall without even a word of hello or good-bye. Sasuke turned around to watch her walk out without a glance back at him. After standing unable to think, Sasuke ran outside after Sakura, but she was gone.

...

Sasuke was in the bed of a room in the inn. After seeing Sakura, Sasuke immediately checked into the inn closer to the mountain area. It had to be Sakura, he was sure of it. It was no dream that looked back at him in the stall; it was more real than a dream. He'd seen her for only a few moments, but the features of the woman he saw were unmistakably that of Sakura. Soft featured face, silky pink hair that barely brushed against her shoulders, and clear green eyes… All were features of her that didn't change. Her clothing was fairly similar to what she had always worn in the past except it was all black without the red longshirt. Her shorts went to just above her knees and hugged on her thighs just a little. As a top, Sakura wore a mesh sleeveless shirt that revealed skin except for her chest area which was covered by something of a bra in the appropriate area. The top was held up by a single strap that went cross her upper chest and over her shoulders. Other features, he noticed, changed about her. Three years is a long time, and certainly Sakura has changed since then. As he stood there in front of her that afternoon, Sasuke stared mostly at her eyes. They were almost peculiar to him; they looked different. They were still the same clear green eyes that had looked him many times before in the past, but there was something else in those eyes. Something Sasuke couldn't describe, but he could see it beneath the surface, like a scar just beneath the skin.

Sasuke got out of bed to look out the window. Down below a few travelers wandered about the street. The sound of singing drunkards could be heard from below. No area, be it a village or not, is complete without a bar or two. Even a village-less village, as Sasuke has heard Feint Village be called, has its group of shady people. Though they come and go like the rest of them, village drunkards and low-lives exist.

Sakura also exists. All this time, she'd been alive. Sasuke leaned his forehead against the window sill while still looking out.

He recalled the way Sakura walked passed him with such nonchalance. Sasuke didn't want to admit it, but it bothered him that she acted as if she didn't know him. It was almost puzzling, considering their history together. Maybe she was avoiding him for the years he spent ignoring her.

"All this time..." he said quietly "... What have you been doing all this time?"

----- 

Sasuke entered the noodle stall he spotted Sakura in. The stall was almost empty compared to how full it was the day before. He sat down on one of the vacant seats.

"I'll have an order of chicken noodles, please." he said to the cook.

Of the few people who were in the stall, Sakura was not one of them. He turned to the cook.

"Sir, would you happen to know a young woman, looks like she's in her early twenties, pink hair, and green eyes?"  
After a few moments of thought, the cook answered. "Why, yes, I do. She's something of a regular around here."  
"Really?" Sasuke said with deeper interest "When does she come around?"  
"It varies. She comes around once every few days... Orders the same thing each time: the supreme noodle bowl... It's kinda of funny when she does it. I asked her if it was her favorite, she said she didn't know. Strange answer, don't you think?"  
Sasuke lowered his eyes slightly "A lot of things are strange..." he said in a whisper, then looking up he spoke again "I've been looking for her for a while... How has she seemed these days?"  
"Can't really say... All I've seen her do is come in and eat her meal quietly. Which makes sense; there aren't many regulars in a place like this. She may be a vendor in another stall, or something; people don't usually stay here without some location specific business."

Sasuke sat back in silent thought.

----- 

Sasuke sat on a bench across from the noodle stall. Sakura did in fact come and go every few days. After some thought, he decided to learn about what she has been doing before confronting her about her disappearance. She didn't appear to care or even realize everyone she knew thinks she's dead. It didn't make sense to him.

He tracked her movements into a semi-regular routine. The direction Sakura comes from varies from time to time, so Sasuke couldn't tell where she came from. Sometimes she would be gone for most of the day, other times she'd look around the vendors. Almost everyday she would come out to eat at different food stalls, including the noodle vendor. Where and when she went was inconsistent, Sasuke couldn't decipher a pattern in her vendor hopping. She did, however, go through the partially closed off path at the end of the road everyday. He would see her casually walk off towards the path, no one seeming to notice. The time of day she did that also varied, but Sasuke was sure she went there everyday.

----- 

Sasuke followed Sakura from twenty feet away. She didn't seem to sense his presence the whole time. Walking out of one of the stalls, Sakura started walking towards the partially closed off path. As she approached the break in the wood barrier, she looked around her casually, as if she were merely making she she didn't drop anything.

Fifteen minutes after she entered, Sasuke followed. Because he was not familiar with the terrain, he could only come in through the same way Sakura went. The opening in the barrier was very slight; it was barely enough for Sasuke, who was not an exceptionally tall person, to get through. The path on the other side was very narrow; it was obvious very few people went through that area. The path made a sharp turn to the left, making it run parallel to the main street of the village.

The trees and bushes between the path and the main road were so thick that Sasuke couldn't see the other side. The area he was in was not frequented often because people didn't know it exists. Sasuke saw a few large rundown stalls scattered around the path. No one else appeared to be around; it was completely quiet. Although they are abandoned, they were still covered enough that he would have to try to look in. Sasuke walked quietly from stall to stall, peeking inside to see if Sakura was there. After a few stalls, Sasuke located the one Sakura went into. The muffled sounds of two voices could barely be heard.

Sasuke pressed his back against the wall next to the opening of the stall. The sound of a man's voice could be heard.

"So... You are Sakura, yes?" the man said.  
"Yes." Sakura replied in a faint, indifferent tone.  
The man let out a lewd chuckle before speaking again "Ohohoho... You are a pretty one! I'm in for something, I bet."

The crude tone of the man's voice sounded alarmingly perverted to Sasuke. Quickly, but quietly, Sasuke looked into the stall. His eyes widened in both anger and wonder. The man sat on a worn-in mattress set on the floor. Sakura kneeled behind him while on her knees. Her hands rested lightly on his shoulders. The distance between her and the man was incredibly short. With slow, but deliberate movement, Sakura's chest brushed against the man's back, causing him to let out another crude chuckle followed by a hiccup. After getting a whiff of the air from inside, Sasuke realized the man was slightly drunk. He soon began to feel anger burn in him as he watched Sakura and the man in a semi-intimate position and the shameful state the man was in. The man reached down to undo his clothing while not moving away from his closeness to Sakura.

"You're not a real ninja, are ya?" the man asked while struggling with his belt. "I know some girls dress up because guys like it... There's nothing sexier than a ninja girl... Except... You know, I don't really want to get into that kung-fu fighting thing... You're not gonna hurt me, right?"

The man looked up at Sakura and hiccupped. Looking back down on him, Sakura shook her head and guided the man's look back to in front of him.

Sasuke, who was growing increasingly angry as he watched, stood there making sense of the situation. The idea of what was going on floated in his mind, but he couldn't make the connection---possibly because he didn't want to. It did occur to him that Sakura's garb was more revealing than usual. Although her body parts weren't hanging all over the place, he'd just realized her clothing was subtly inviting. Watching her now, he realized she was deliberately being sensual. Judging by what the man said, he and Sakura just met... Finally, he made the connection.

Sakura was a prostitute.

With a tightened fist, Sasuke focused again on Sakura. His insides were pounding, as if threatening to burst. Sasuke wanted to storm inside, grip onto Sakura's shoulders and shake her and shake her and shake her to her senses. He imagined him doing that and asking over and over again "What are you doing?! What are you doing?!" Sasuke could feel the emotions he would have if he really did so. Something inside of him was tearing him up, the pain of that something and the urgent need to get rid of it almost pushed tears into Sasuke's eyes. But most of all, Sasuke felt anger. Sakura was doing something stupid and that man was taking advantage of her. He couldn't stand it. But he forced himself to stay put. Knowing that it was too soon to go in and confront Sakura, Sasuke waited and watched.

Leaning over a little, Sakura lightly pressed her chest against the man's back again. Her hand traveled slowly from the man's shoulder down his upper arm and to his outer forearm. Before reaching his hand, Sakura's hand slipped away to her side. Sakura moved her face so that it was next to the man's. Sakura's control over what was going on compelled the man to only sit and let her do what she pleased. He was sure that whatever Sakura was going to do, he would enjoy it. Lowering her head so that her face was next to his, she covered his mouth with her left hand to prevent him from speaking and ruining the moment.

"Relax..." she whispered.

Sasuke knew that was when the "action" was going to begin. Unable to control himself any longer, Sasuke moved to stop Sakura. The man, who also realized Sakura was going to get bolder, was about to let out another crude chuckle... However, a quiet gasp escaped instead.

Sasuke stopped.

The man fell forward with his eyes wide open in shock. With his face in the ground, blood soon began to pool around the man's body; his throat had just been slit. Standing up, Sakura whipped off the blood from her kunai which she held in her right hand.

---------- 

Author's Notes: Sakura's look is based off a fanart that I've seen around on the internet. It's a slightly raunchy picture of Sakura sticking out her tongue blindfolded by her head protector. Her hands are tied in front of her while holding onto a small sword. In this picture, her red shirt is opened and her chest is rather large and hanging out from the bottom. The Sakura in this fanfic looks something like that, clothes-wise except without the shirt. Also, my version of Sakura isn't quite so raunchy, despite her business in the back alley.

And for Feint Village... Feint Village was actually inspired by my trip to Hawaii. The International Market, a long street with vendors, was a few blocks away from my family's hotel. I have a thing for that kind of merchants and the atmosphere they work in. So I had to have Feint Village the way it is. I like the idea so much that I made a map of the area. You can find the map on my site which I can't display here. The link is on my profile, go to chapter 8 for this fic to find the pic.

Keep in mind the map is not to scale and that I have way too much time on my hands. :P


	9. Blood on the Petals

[ **Chapter Nine: Blood on the Petals** ]

BEFORE WE BEGIN... this chapter will contain some graphic stuff. Blood, sex, and cursing. The rating for this fic should be up by now, but just in case: proceed with CAUTION.

---------- 

Sasuke fumbled with the door as he attempted to close it on the way into his room at the inn. After finally getting it closed, he leaned his back against the door and slid to the ground. Among many other feelings, he was shocked. There was relief. Sakura was alive and she appeared to be well as far as health goes. There was anger. Sakura wouldn't even kiss him when he wanted her to, and now she was a prostitute. And there was sadness. Sakura had that look of cold indifference, the look of someone who kills as an occupation. No one was free from that emptiness. Even Sakura, the cheerful girly one of team 7, lived with tainted hands. It was part of being a ninja.

No one is innocent...

No one.

----- 

Sakura sat on the porch. With one leg bent at the knee and the other stretched out, she leaned her back against the frame of the sliding door in order to relax. Since she returned from her business day, she noticed how hot it became. She rubbed the perspiration accumulating around her upper chest. After a few moments she let out a sigh. This time with just one finger, Sakura followed the faintly defined crevice of a scar. It was located just above her left breast and extended up to her left collar bone and down to her middle chest. The strap of her top usually covered so that it could barely be noticed; however, in the heat of the night, she removed the strap. Sakura didn't like touching the scar; it always filled her with a strange sense of loss and confusion. But it was there and she couldn't just ignore it all the time.

One of the men she'd been with asked her about the scar. He removed the strap of her shirt and it was the first thing he saw. It was the first man that asked her that. She didn't know what to tell him then... She doesn't know what to say even now.

---------- 

(begin flashback)

The sounds of someone's pacing creaked on the old wooden floor. Sakura sat on a floor cushion, watching that someone's feet as they walked back and forth in the room.

"Living is going to cost money." a male voice said to her as he paced "What you need is a way to earn that money. It will work out for you to vend something most others can't offer... There is a lack of females in this area, I recommend vending your body."

Sakura looked up at the speaker with visible anxiety. It certainly not something she was up to doing. The man paused to look at her. He acknowledged Sakura's hesitance, but without any sympathy.

"There is a certain spot in this village for this 'business' to take place. I will arrange customers for you. Your first one will come in a few days. His name is Jin, don't forget it. All your customers will pay up front before anything is done. Afterwards, you do what you like with them."

The man stopped again, this time making direct contact with Sakura's eyes. He meant for her to listen carefully.

"Anything can happen in this village... Use that to your advantage."

Sakura looked back at the ground to think about what the man just said.

----- 

Jin sat on a bench in the meeting spot. The stall fairly large and provided a semi-private setting. On the wooden floor behind Jin was a large mattress and a blanket. When she first walked into the back path, Sakura was sure no one would really want to do their business in such a crude setting. However, after recalling the type of village she was in she realized it didn't matter. For many travelers, real brothels can be far and few between. Any kind of woman in any setting would work for that kind of person. Jin looked at Sakura with a crooked smile as she entered.

Sakura felt a cold chill run up and down her spine as she felt Jin's eye look at her from head to toe. The way he looked at her made her feel dirty. It was as if he were ripping off her clothing without hesitation or sensitivity for her comfort. First went the strap of her shirt, then went the shirt itself. One by one, all of her clothing was being ripped off by Jin's prying eyes. Sakura didn't want to even look back at him, but she had no choice. Jin looked to be in his late twenties. His overall appearance had a stained look to it. It was as if he were a naturally dirty man. His skin appeared oily, his chin bore rough stubble and his eyes held a few bags underneath them. What disturbed Sakura the most was his smile. Somehow, Sakura was sure his smile wasn't the only crooked thing about him. He was definitely the kind of person who would lay with a prostitute.

Sakura only stood and looked at him after she entered. Stalling was the only thing she could think of doing. The crooked smile on Jin's face soon faded; he was getting irritated about waiting.

"You're the one, right?" he said not really interested in confirming "I'm Jin."

Sakura nodded, and continued to stand. Jin looked at her annoyed; he was very much ready to get the affair started. Sakura moved on of her arms to grab onto her elbow as if to cover herself. After more minutes of silent stillness, Sakura actually took a step back. Jin let out a low growl, his eyes flashed it her with angry hunger. With a gruff breath, he suddenly stood up, knocking the bench over. Standing a few paces away from her, Jin threw down a small bag containing a sizable amount of money.

"Take it." he said, apparently without exception.

Sakura slowly bent over to pick up the money. She barely picked it up when Jin suddenly moved towards her and backed her against the wall.

"Let's get this started." he said, a crooked smile creeping back onto his face.

Jin's hand ran roughly against her sides and breasts. Moving quickly, he reached for the strap of Sakura's shirt. After removing it, Jin's hand ran over Sakura's upper chest area where he noticed the crevice in her skin. He stepped back to examine what he just felt.

"What's that?" he asked.  
"A scar." Sakura answered quietly.  
"I can see that."

Jin looked at it, as if rethinking his decision to lay with her because of that one imperfection. He looked to her for an explanation. After more moments of silences, he decided he didn't care.

"Oh well," he said smiling again "I like my women rough."

Jin moved in close again. The warmth of his breath had a murky feeling against Sakura's skin. She turned her head away with her eyes closed so tight that it hurt. She wanted with all her heart to separate from her body and not be part of what was going on. The more Jin felt on her, the more dirty she felt. It was as if his wandering hands added layers of soot onto her skin with each touch. Her mind searched for a way out of that situation.

_You do what you like with them..._ a voice said in her memory _... Anything can happen..._

Her eyes suddenly widened.

_... Use that to your advantage..._

The man ran a slimy tongue on her lips causing her to shudder with revulsion. With a decisive cry, Sakura hastily pulled out a kunai and rammed it into the nearest spot available. Jin screamed out in pain. Sakura did not hit any important organs, but she did stab deep enough to cause a considerable amount of bleeding. Clutching onto his would, Jin fell to one kneed and looked up at Sakura in rage.

"What the fuck?!" he said angrily "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Sakura looked at him and then down on herself. His blood splattered onto her hands and clothing. Before looking up, Sakura was caught by surprise by Jin, who charged at her. Sakura was knocked back into the wall; the impact knocked the wind out of her and caused her to drop her kunai. Sakura fell to the ground, coughing a little from the wall. Jin stood above her, breathing heavily. With a crude grunt, Jin kicked upward in Sakura's chest with as much force as he could muster, giving no regard to Sakura as a woman, nor as a human being. Without hesitation, he followed by kicking her into the ground a few paces away.

"Stupid bitch!" Jin yelled "I fucking paid for you!"

Sakura cringed at the pain in her chest. She laid still on the ground, apparently unable to move. Jin scoffed, and spat on Sakura.

"What the fuck did you think you were going to do? Kill me?"

Jin looked down at Sakura with superiority. Sakura moved to look at him before speaking quietly.

"Yes."

Jin looked at Sakura in wonder, but not for very long. Before he could realize what was happening, Sakura swung one of her legs to knock him over. As Sakura tried to get herself up, Jin reached for her leg to keep her from doing anything. Sakura fell back down again, but she soon recovered and kicked Jin in the face. Using the force from her kick, Sakura launched herself a distance away towards her kunai. Picking it up before she landed, Sakura launched herself again in Jin's direction. As she reached Jin, she stabbed him again in the stomach, causing him to cry out in pain.

Without hesitation, Sakura turned towards Jin who doubled over on the ground. Pinning him to the ground, Sakura stabbed Jin over and over again in frantic desperation. Although she knew what she was doing, the look on her face seemed to ask "Why won't you die?! Why won't you die?!"

As she knelt above him, stabbing him repeatedly, Sakura seemed to lose control of herself. She couldn't think. She just kept on stabbing him and stabbing him with wild and chaotic movements. Sakura could literally feel the violence in her movements. Blood splattered everywhere and screams rang in her ear. It was so strange feeling herself killing a man, and yet… she couldn't stop.

Jin's screams muffled into the humid Feint air. Apparently no one could hear him.

...

Sakura ran the whole way back towards the mountain path. The abandoned home she stayed at was somewhat deep into the woods of the small mountain. She entered her empty room and slammed the door behind her. She backed herself into the corner of the room near her mattress. The shade of night kept the corners of the room dark. Only the moonlight from a near-by window served as a source of light for her. Sitting in the corner, Sakura pulled her knees up in front of her so that she sat up in the fetal position with her head resting on her knees. The sound of quiet crying broke the silence of the room. The quiet crying soon became a steady weep, and then finally a loud sob.

"What was I doing?" she asked the dark night "What was I doing?"

The burn of shame found its way onto her cheek and eventually all over her body. The places Jin's hand touched suddenly began to feel heavy with a certain filthy muck. The stain of his character seemed to somehow stain her. Or at least it felt that way. Sakura felt like a common prostitute. She was dirty, she was tarnished. Sakura let out another heavy cry.

But that wasn't the only thing that haunted her.

The stench of blood pervaded her memory. The rip of someone else's flesh flashed in her mind. Sakura began to shake violently. It quickly dawned on her that she killed someone. With her own hands, she brutally murdered a man.

The sound of female screams echoed in her memory. In response, Sakura tightened her already closed eyes.

_It wasn't like that other time… This time I was the one causing pain…_

Sakura didn't want to admit it, but something inside of her wanted to keep on stabbing him. With every rip of his skin, Sakura was paying him back for undressing her with his eyes. Deep down inside, she wanted to keep him from ever looking at someone like that again. It was that idea that made Sakura's heart churn. Something about her didn't feel clean anymore. Even though she took great care to wash off Jin's blood from her body, she somehow felt as if the stain of it remained.

For an hour on end, Sakura continued to sob without restraint. The same thoughts circled in her head. She couldn't believe what was going on. The sound of her door open startled Sakura into looking him.

_He_ was there.

----- 

Sakura sat on the porch with her feet hanging off the edge with the familiar sound of pacing sounded behind her. She was a little calm now, especially after he came in the night before. Sakura expected him to handle things with a business-as-usual attitude. He would take the money, maybe give her a portion, and go off to where ever he goes when he's gone. No word of praise or any of criticism, just an indifferent word or two about what will happen next. Despite his indifference, however, she'd always follow his word. She has been doing so since the beginning, there's no reason to stop ever.

"Here." he said, tossing the small bag of money to Sakura "No one will be around today."

He left the room in his usual terse fashion. As she expected, no words of praise or criticism. He didn't even comment on whether or not killing Jin was a good thing. Sakura looked into the small bag. All of the money was still there.

(end flashback)

---------- 

Sakura gave herself a weak smile for how much she'd gotten better at her 'business'. It'd been about a year since Jin. Her fear and guilt from that first incident soon faded as she realized that sort of thing happened all the time. She got into an almost mechanical groove about her killings. Each time became a smooth routine. No one else was around to interfere and no emotions were being felt except indifference. So it didn't matter to her very much.

Well, except for today. For almost an entire week, Sakura felt like she was being followed. Each time she'd give a quick glance around her, no one would be there, but she'd always feel a distinct presence around her. She felt that way particularly as she dealt with her customer for that day. No one could be seen, but she was sure someone was looking from right over her shoulder.

Sakura dismissed the idea as being nothing. Wiping off the perspiration from her chest, Sakura went to bed.

---------- 

Author's notes: if you are reading this, then you have read this chapter. For you sensitive readers, I apologize. But keep in mind it'll probably get worse as the story goes. By worse, I really mean the story will get into things less and less for children, so keep that in mind.

I also want to clarify my repeated use of unidentified men in this fic. So far, there have been two unidentified men in this fic (refered to as 'the man' or 'he'). There was the one from the last chapter, who was killed. There is another unidentified man who Sakura keeps on talking to in her flashbacks. Just keep in mind they are two separate people. Hopefully I wasn't too confusing about that.

Hope you enjoyed this one. Thanks all!


	10. Reunion with a Stranger

[ **Chapter Ten: Reunion with a Stranger** ]

Sasuke pulled out an object from the drawer of the dresser in his Inn room. It was a small cylindrical object carefully wrapped in cloth, inside was the pink cherry blossom patterned cup that belonged so Sakura. At that time while he was packing, Sasuke was under the impression that Sakura was dead. But he still thought it would be a good idea to bring it along with him, without really questioning why... But now... Now he had nothing but questions. More and more unanswered questions seemed to come what. What had Sakura been doing all these years? Why was she avoiding Sasuke? Why was she posing as a prostitute? Why did she kill that man? It had been a few days since he witness the murder of that man. Since then, Sasuke asked around, trying to find out more about Sakura. Nothing came up, however. Other than being a something of a regular to a few food stalls, Sasuke couldn't find any information about her. It soon became clear to him that the only place he could go to for answers was Sakura herself.

----- 

Finding her wasn't a difficult task. It was as simple as looking through all the food stalls during lunch hours. She wasn't even trying to hide herself from Sasuke. If she was trying to avoid him, she certainly was not doing a good job. Sasuke watched her from an open distance. He stood there clearly in her view, but she did nothing. She simply acted as if he weren't there; she simply sat there eating her meal quietly. Sasuke watched her at first with a blank expression, trying not so hard to draw attention to himself. He stood in his position deliberately, so that he was sure Sakura would be able to see him, but standing there, he didn't want to do anything out of the ordinary to get her to notice him. He wanted to see if Sakura would go to him of her own will.

Apparently not.

Sasuke stood there for five minutes. Twice did the owner of the stall asked him if he wanted to sit down and have something to eat. Sasuke said nothing and continued to stand. His casual gaze in her direction eventually became a complete stare. Somehow, it was becoming more and more difficult for him to wait for Sakura's attention. After another three minutes, Sasuke decided to give up.

Walking to where Sakura sat, Sasuke took a seat directly in front of her.

"Listen to me Sakura." he declared looking at Sakura straight in the eyes, making sure he had her full attention "It's been a long time and I don't know what the hell is going on. Explain to me from beginning to end what the hell you're doing here."

Sakura didn't answer. She only looked at him with a partially puzzled, but mostly offended expression. Sasuke was growing ever more restless at her silence. What was she gaining in not answering his questions?

"Sakura." he said firmly "Tell me what the hell is going on!"

This time Sakura looked at him angrily, as if he were the one at fault.

"I'm sorry, sir," she said in both a polite and peeved tone of voice "but do I know you?"

Sasuke mouth hung open in surprise. 

"You don't know me?" he asked shaking his head a little.  
"No, I don't." Sakura said, less peeved than before.

Sasuke said nothing. Things were beginning to make a little sense now.

"I'm sorry." he said "but, what's your name?"  
"It's Sakura."  
"Sakura..." he said leaving room for a family name.  
"Just Sakura."  
"No family name?"  
"None."  
"Why not?"  
Sakura looked to a side, a trace of sadness could be seen in her face "... I don't have a family..."  
Sasuke looked at her for a few moments before standing up. "... I'm sorry, Sakura." he said as if he were suddenly talking to a stranger "I thought you were someone else... Excuse me for intruding on your meal..."

Sakura watched Sasuke walk out of the stall in wonder.

"That was strange..." she said, not really thinking much of it. "I wonder who he was..."

----- 

Sasuke hid behind the curtain of a stall the stood across the street from the partial opening to the back alley. He waited for Sakura to return to her place of business, but she never came.

_It's Sakura... Just Sakura..._

Sasuke repeated Sakura's words in his mind. Everything was beginning to make sense _...I don't have a family..._. Sakura lost her memory, or at least parts of it. She at least knows her first name for sure. But she doesn't know who Sasuke is, or even her family name. Sakura ignored him all that time because she didn't know who she was; he was just a stranger to her.

And in a sense, she was a stranger to him.

Sasuke realized he couldn't exactly approach Sakura as Haruno Sakura. The girl he saw is different from the girl he knew.... So he couldn't approach her and try to make her remember her old self, at least not right away. He had to find out who Sakura is now. Her current life could be totally isolated from the murder of Mrs. Haruno, or it could be related. The person who killed Sakura could have also erased Sakura's memory, or Sakura could have just lost her memory the day she 'died' during Sasuke's battle with Itachi. Before he could take any action, though, he would have to understand the current situation. At least now, Sasuke knows how to approach Sakura.

----- 

Sasuke watched Sakura from the distance again. She spotted him watching her as she ate, but instead of ignoring him, she gave an odd look of not knowing what to do. Sasuke cleared his throat and walked towards Sakura's direction.

"You don't mind, do you?" he asked, motioning himself to the seat in front of Sakura.  
Sakura shook her head, but with a look of skepticism "Before you say anything, sir, I don't know you."  
Sasuke nodded "I know, I know... I just wanted to apologize about yesterday... You see, you look a lot like someone I've been looking for..." he said lying as the Sakura who sat before him was the Sakura he was looking for "Her name is also Sakura... I thought she was you by mistake."  
After a few moments of awkward silence, at least for Sakura, Sakura chuckled "Well... I guess if anyone has green eyes and pink hair, the name Sakura would be an obvious choice..."  
"I guess so..."

Sakura looked to the side nervously, not knowing what to do.

"What's your name, sir?"  
"Oh... It's U-" Sasuke paused for a moment, then shook his head "It's Sasuke."  
"Sasuke." Sakura repeated.  
"Sasuke." he confirmed.  
"Well... It's nice to meet you... I guess..." Sakura paused "... That was kind of weird what you did yesterday... So I don't know, really, what to do now..."  
"It's okay... I'm sure a lot of stuff like that happens around here."

Sakura said nothing but continued eating. For the rest of the time, the two sat in silence. Sasuke, who was truly at a loss for words in meeting someone he already knew, couldn't think of anything else to say. Sakura merely continued to eat, paying him no real attention. After she was finished she paid for the meal and stood up to leave, giving Sasuke a slight wave of good-bye. As she moved to leave, Sasuke grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Listen." he said trying to get her attention "Will you be around?"  
"Why?" she asked suspicious of his intentions.  
"Because... Just because... You know, just in case I see you again..."  
Sakura looked at him for a few moments "Maybe."

----- 

Sakura watched the blood flow into the drain as she washed it of from the business day. After washing herself off thoroughly, Sakura stepped into a large tub. Although the house she stayed at had been abandoned for quite some time, some of the things in the house were still usable. It was an old fashioned home. Everything inside was made out of wood and cement. Some of the rooms adorned old tatami floors and the bathroom was comprised of a wooden area to wash off in and a large wooden tub for relaxing. The door had been broken down, so Sakura used a very crude partition which did very little to cover the large entry. It didn't matter anyway, no one was in the house except her. There was no light in the room, so Sakura used candles to light it up in the night. The water also had to be heated using fire, which was no trouble to get started.

Sakura drew in a deep breath and slid down beneath the surface of the water. She kept her position beneath the surface with her eyes closed, to see how long she can hold her breath. Sitting still beneath the surface, thoughts slowly filtered into her mind.

In the darkness of her closed eyes, there were screams and there was blood. In the stillness of the bathroom, she was running. In the darkness of that night, the earliest night she could remember, she ran and ran. Screams screamed, blood bled. She couldn't see, but she couldn't stop running to find out where she was going. She could only run and run.

She quickly rose above the surface after losing her breath. Where am I? she thought. Caught in the depths of her memories, she slowly came back to herself in the bathroom. Sakura lifted her hands to look at them. Although clean, the reflection in Sakura's eyes revealed some blood as she stared at them. After blinking back to focus, the stains were gone. Sakura closed her eyes again and pulled her knees to her chest. She began to feel small in the quiet of the room. The space around her seemed to grow bigger and bigger. The distance between her and the rest of the world seemed suddenly immense. Sakura stretched her legs out again. Her eyes lost focus as her gaze became a stare into the still water.

Staring at her reflection, Sakura saw a flash of red. For a split second, Sakura saw an image of familiar emerald eyes covered in blood. Sakura's eyes widened with a gasp. Splashing her hands, Sakura quickly distorted the bloody image.

Sakura quickly got out of the tub. Wrapping herself in a towel, she leaned against a nearby wall breathing deeply.

_Those eyes seemed oddly familiar._

----- 

Sakura briskly walked out of the noodle stall. Before she could turn around, Sasuke appeared before. It wasn't the first she has seen of him since they talked during lunch. In fact, she's seen him quiet a few times.

"Listen, uhhh..." she paused trying to recall his name again "... Sasuke. Listen, Sasuke. Aren't you looking for another Sakura?"  
"No!... I mean, yes...I... Look, it's complicated."  
"Well, last time you mistook me for her, you seemed pretty steamed about whatever it was. You love this girl, don't you?"  
"No, I don't love her..." Sasuke paused again "I mean... She's..."  
"Well, this Sakura you're looking for seemed to mean something to you, so don't let me get in your way." Sakura pushed Sasuke's hand away and continued to walk on her way.  
"Wait, listen!" Sasuke stopped her again "That Sakura... That Sakura is gone, now. I don't know where that Sakura is... Really, I'm just here to talk to **you**."  
"Why? So you can replace me with her?"  
"No, not to replace her... Look, I know I don't sound very convincing right now and I understand that. But would you please just let me talk to you? I know it seems crazy that this stranger looking for someone else would come at you like this, but you must believe me."

Sakura turned around to look at Sasuke directly. "Fine, then... Talk to me." Sasuke looked at her as she stood before him. It was the first time since he first spotted her that she spoke to him directly. Now that he had her full attention, he wasn't sure of what he could say. He looked down at the ground to think. His eyes moved up to her feet and slowly moved upwards. Through the mesh of her shirt, he could see a slightly toned abdomen as well as arms and legs. Her body was well toned, but still soft enough to be feminin. His eyes moved to the strap of her shirt, behind the strap was the scar. Sasuke's eyes widened just barely.

"Where did you get that scar?" he asked.  
"This scar?" Sakura said, lifting her hand to cover the strap of her shirt "Well... Actually I don't remember..."  
"You don't remember?"  
"Bad memory... Amnesia... Whatever you want to call it... I don't remember a whole lot about that past, and quite frankly, I'm not very interested in it. I've gotten by without it, so why should I go looking for it now?"  
"Aren't you at least a little bit curious?"  
"Not, really. Why?"  
"Because I think I can help you?"  
"You? Help me? I don't think so. You were looking for someone else named Sakura."  
"I told you, already. She's gone now. But I can still help you... She... She also lost her memory, probably from an attack or something similar."  
"Doesn't that sound a little fishy? I swear she sounds exactly like me, same looks, same name, same story... Why should I believe you?"  
"I know, I know. It does sound suspicious... But I want to help you. Can you really blame me for that?"  
"I still can't trust you just like that..." Sakura stated gravely "A lot of things can happen in this place and no one will ever know about it..."  
"Look, I really want to help you, Sakura. Is there any way I can prove that?"

Sakura said nothing. She closely examined Sasuke who stood before her in an Anbu uniform. She took a step closer to him and examined his face. After a few minutes, she spoke.

"Why do I feel like I know you?" she asked genuinely curious about her intuition.  
Sasuke could give her no real answer. At least, not the answer he wanted to give her.

----- 

_"Fine, help me, then."_ was her answer. However awkwardly he had managed, Sasuke was able to convince Sakura to let him speak to her openly. When he returned to his room that night, Sasuke scolded himself for using such a hastily put story to get Sakura to speak with him. But he did open the door with her. _Now I can speak to her..._ he thought _and maybe even... help her?_ Sasuke paused. The thought of whether or not he was really going to help crossed his mind. He could speak to Sakura and find out what's going on, and that's fine. But to help her... What would that mean? Would it mean he'll restore her memory, though she said she didn't really desire to have it restored? Did it mean he was going to save her from something or someone? If so, who or what? Sasuke couldn't find the answer. _Well... I guess it doesn't matter._ He looked at Sakura's teacup again. _Maybe I can actually give this back to her... If not a as a return to her past, then just as a gift._ Sasuke placed it back in it's wrapping _Besides, what was I going to do with it in the first place?_

---------- 

Author's Note: I have high hopes for this fic, I really do. There's much to be said and a lot of inspiration to work from. Man, I REALLY have high hopes. And it's fun to write up.

In any case, I hope you readers are enjoying this as much as I am. Again, and I do mean it every time I say it, I truly appreciate all you readers (and reviewers) for taking the time to read my little fic. :)


	11. Unexplained GoodBye

[ **Chapter 11: Unexplained Good-Bye** ]

There was a scream in the crowd as a man fell to the ground dead. Another man, the one who stabbed and robbed the one who fell, fled from the crime holding a large bag full of western merchandise. The vendor who sells the western goods makes a lot of money, but stealing directly from him is difficult because a lot of people are there and it's easy to spot who is stealing what. However, the people who transport the goods through the street and into the stall are usually out unchecked, so stealing from them is a matter of just killing and taking. The thief ran past Sasuke, who was alarmed that no one was doing anything. A woman screamed, but that was it. Everyone else just went about their business without noticing so much.

"Is anyone going to do something about that?" Sasuke said to Sakura, who was also disinterested in the murder that just took place.  
"Someone will probably get rid of the body after a few days." Sakura answered nonchalantly "Probably when the body starts to smell."  
"What kind of place is this?"

----- 

Sakura forcefully pushed the man into the wall. They met at the usual spot behind the back alley. The mattress was there and the stall was partially closed, as always, the only thing was that he fought back. Just as the man turned around, Sakura moved to punch him in the stomach. While the man was wincing in pain, Sakura wasted no time and pulled out a kunai to stab him in the side with. She made contact, but not enough to kill him. Sakura paused for a second to think of something to do next. In that second, the man changed at her and knocked her onto her back and into the ground. Although he was still clutching onto his side, he stayed on top of her to pin her to the ground. He blurted out words of anger that Sakura did not listen to. She looked up into his angry face. He might as well start foaming in the mouth, Sakura thought. Sakura looked to her side in disgust. The man held his position on top of her. His breathing was heavy and swift, and by the sound of it, Sakura was sure it wasn't because he was out of breath. The man roughly shifted on top of her, a stiff lump could be felt against her inner thigh. Sakura's skin crawled. Even after he'd been attacked, he was still aroused from earlier, he may even be more aroused from what was going on now. The man slowly loosed his force on top of her without realizing it. Waiting for the right moment, Sakura lifted up a knee and kicked him away. She turned over to lift herself up again. As she moved to face the man, she took out her kunai again to stab him. The force from the attack was enough to stun him, allowing Sakura to move in for a proper kill.

The man fell to the ground. Sakura slashed off the blood from her kunai and looked at his lifeless body lying on the ground. Without a word or expression on her face, Sakura walked out of the stall.

Standing a few feet away from the entrance was Sasuke. Sakura didn't seem to resist when he asked to go with her, so there he was. But, she told him, he would have to start worrying if she were told to have him as a "client". If he were, she wouldn't object. If he actually came, she would have tried to kill him, just as a rule of thumb. Sasuke gave a nervous laugh; she seemed serious when she said it.

"So this is-" Sasuke began in a questioning tone.  
"Wait." Sakura interrupted "Let's not talk around here. Follow me."

Sakura lead Sasuke to the closed off path into the mountains. With no one paying attention, Sakura slipped into the small opening with Sasuke following behind her.

"If you're going to ask me question about what I'm doing," Sakura said "it's a better idea if we talk in private."

The two walked two miles into the mountain. The path split a few times, mostly when leading to one of the abandoned homes. Sasuke looked at Sakura who walked a few paces ahead of him. Her short hair brushed against her bare shoulders. Without turning around, Sakura spoke as she walked.

"That's what I do to earn money." Sakura said, referring to her business in the back alley "They pay a lot more than I need, but the extra cash doesn't hurt. I can save it up for an emergency or whatnot."  
"Those men," Sasuke asked "what kind of people do you usually deal with?"  
"All lot of different men, actually. You'd think they're all perverts, but not all of them are. Most, but not all. There are men who are into dirty sex and there are men who are really good guys with wives, but things just aren't working out. As far as their pasts go, I'm not told about that information. And quite frankly, I don't care."  
"You're not told that information? Does that mean you work through a middleman?"  
"Yes. Someone arranges clients for me. I don't have to meet anyone before hand, I just meet them there the night of."  
"Do you know the middleman?"  
"Well... Middleman probably isn't the right word. The person who arranges the clients is more like my benefactor or caretaker. He's helped me out for the past two or so years. So in addition to arranging clients, he does a few other things for me. Caretaker things."  
Sasuke watched the vague sense of sentimentality in Sakura's face. This caretaker of hers seemed to be someone of importance. "Who is he?"  
"... I can't tell you."  
"Why's that?"

There was a moment of silence. Sakura turned to face Sasuke, seeming like she was going to say something, but she didn't. Sasuke looked back at her. His eyes wandered to the strap of her shirt. He could make out the jagged edges of the scar on her chest. A pang of guilt began to hang in his arms and chest. It didn't take him long to figure out where it came from. It was the scar he gave her the night he thought he killed her. He accidentally attacked her once before; that time he only gave her a welt. The second time, however, he was attacking with the intention to kill and Sakura ran into the line of fire. The place where he would have made contact was the same as where the scar was. He was the one who gave it to her. Every time he saw her, he would look at it and feel guilty. _Look at what you did to her_, his mind would tell him, _and look at where she is now_.

"I have my reasons." she said, turning around again to continue walking.

----- 

"Here." Sasuke said handing Sakura a cloth covered object.  
"What's this for?" Sakura unwrapped the object, revealing a pink teacup. "A tea cup?"  
"A tea cup."  
"Why did you get me a tea cup?"  
"I saw it at one of the stalls..." Sasuke said, realizing he was lying to her "The pink and the cherry blossoms... They reminded me of you."  
"Right, because my name is Sakura..." Sakura didn't appear pleased "It's probably something you would have given that other Sakura you mistook me for."

Sakura examined the ceramic tea cup. It seemed like a strange gift to give her. It looked like it was meant for a child, and it seemed considerably old and even used. She was convinced Sasuke really did have it for that other Sakura, maybe it even belonged to her. Or he got it used from somewhere. Sakura decided on the latter possibility. Sasuke didn't seem very interested in that other Sakura since he mentioned her. _Still, it was a nice gesture, even though this cup was used._ Sakura looked at the cup more closely. _Why does it feel so... So familiar._ She held it up to her face and made a motion as if she were taking a sip. _It feels like I've held this exact cup before..._

"No, no. That's not it." Sasuke said trying to defend himself, though the explanation was true in a strange and distorted way. "I saw it and it reminded me of you. In fact, it seemed like the perfect cup made just for you."

Sasuke's last comment echoed as Sakura heard them. The sound of a familiar female voice spoke from the far corners of her mind.

_It's perfect for you, Sakura-chan!_

_Because it was made just for you..._

A blurred vision of an older woman flashed in Sakura's mind. From her point of view, Sakura looked up at the older woman, whose face was blurred out, handing her the pink tea cup.

"You don't want it?" Sasuke asked, bringing Sakura back to reality.

Sakura took a few deep breaths. "No... I accept..." Sakura looked down at the tea cup. _What was that?_ "Thanks... It was a nice thought."

----- 

"Is the killing part required?" Sasuke asked while out on the mountain with Sakura walking, again, to no particular destination.  
"No, it is not required."  
"So why do you do it?"  
"Originally, it was a choice between having sex with someone for money and killing them for money... I think you understand my decision."  
"So does that mean you've never actually slept with a man?"  
"Yes... I've never slept with a man..."  
"Do you like killing them?"  
Sakura looked away, she didn't want to answer that question. "That's not the right question to ask me."  
"Why's that?" Sasuke asked, still pursuing answers.  
"Why the hell should you care?" Sakura turned away. _Of course I don't... But..._  
"I'm trying to help you, Sakura..."  
Sakura turned back, looking at Sasuke with sad eyes. "Do I like killing them?... No I don't like killing them. Maybe there are some... Or, actually most... There are some people who deserve to be killed. There are men who are so grossly perverted that they make girls who aren't willing feel dirty themselves for being in the same proximity as them. There are men who soil women with just their eyes, men whose touch leave a filthy stain that a person will always have weigh down on them for the rest of their lives. It is that kind of man who deserves to be killed."

Sakura's voice was earnest and truthful; she meant every word she said.

"But you said you don't like killing. What do you not like about it?" She turned with a dodgy reflex. "There have been people who I didn't want to kill, people who didn't deserve it... There was one person I killed... She was different from all the other people. For one thing she was a woman, and I was sent out to **her** rather than her coming to me. No reason was given to me as to why I had to go out of my way and kill this woman. I didn't say anything because I was specifically told to kill her, and I was in no place to protest, so I went... That night, it was raining very hard..."

---------- 

(begin flashback)

Sakura watched the woman from outside the open window. The rain outside fell ominously hard and Sakura could feel it. It wasn't just the knowledge of what she was about to do that told Sakura something was wrong, it was the way the rain fell that night and the way the woman cried in the darkness. Sakura felt like she wasn't supposed to be there, she wasn't supposed to do what she was about to do. If not for the fact that killing is wrong in and of itself, then for this specific woman who was crying in the dark. Sakura watched, the pit of her heart sinking to the pit of her stomach. The woman she watched wore clothes for mourning. It was, Sakura guessed, the funeral of someone dear to the woman. _It can't be right to kill a woman in mourning_.

The woman seemed to have caught a glimpse of her in the reflection of the mirror. Sakura quickly hid herself just enough so she could still see the woman while not being spotted. The woman turned around, her face looked so tired...

Something about the look on the woman's face compelled Sakura to step forward. For split seconds, Sakura felt like she should go to the woman and comfort her. For no apparent reason, Sakura felt like this stranger "It's okay. You're not alone." or anything that would make that woman smile again. But she couldn't. She was told to go to this place and kill the woman and Sakura was going to do so. No questions asked.

The woman looked up at Sakura with a gasp. Sakura stood before with a solemn look of death. Do you know your death is upon you? Sakura's face said, trying very hard not to let the wrongness of the situation bother her. The woman looked at Sakura with desperate relief. Her green eyes gave Sakura an eerie sense of familiarity.

"Are..." the woman said, stumbling in her tears "Are you a ghost?"

Sakura said nothing. Her solemn stare turned into sudden pain. Suddenly, she didn't want to kill the woman. Something in the woman's eyes seemed to familiar and too endearing to take away.

_Kill this woman._ a male voice said in Sakura's mind.

But she couldn't disobey an order. Not one that he gave her.

Sakura shook her head to a resolution. She pulled out a kunai and took a step closer towards the woman. Without any resistance, the woman closed her eyes, as if in acceptance of her coming death. Sakura stood behind her, the blade placed right at her neck. Before the sharp metal could slice into the woman's flesh, she spoke in a whisper.

"All I wanted to do is see you again..." the woman said "And tell you once and for all good-bye..."

Tears slid from the woman's eyes as Sakura slit the woman's neck. Sakura watched the woman's body fall to the ground, a strange smile immortalized on the dead woman's lips. That very second, Sakura felt empty. Something was wrong, something was very wrong. She just killed a woman she didn't know, but it was still wrong. It was the way the woman looked at her, the strangeness of her green eyes, and the creepy way the woman said good-bye to her although they never met. Sakura didn't understand. It shook her so violently inside that she couldn't think, she could only be empty. That very second, in all her emptiness, Sakura felt like she really was a ghost.

(end flashback)

---------- 

"That woman with green eyes..." Sakura said to Sasuke "That woman who was mourning for someone she loved... The night I killed her, I felt so wrong. It was so strange being there. She said good-bye to me as if she knew me, but I'm sure it was the delirium of her grief. She wanted to say good-bye to someone--anyone--and I was there. She smiled as she died, as if grateful for being put out of her misery. But even if she wanted it, I still felt wrong. I still felt like I made a mistake that I can't apologize for... That blood shouldn't have been shed... It flowed too thick... I always knew killing people was wrong, but that woman... Her haunting sadness... I will never forget it..."

Sakura looked at Sasuke with sad eyes. His own eyes were widened at the story.

"Sakura..." he said shocked, almost horrified, at what he just heard.

...

Sasuke entered his room in a rush. After Sakura finished her story, silence followed, both of them still unsure of what to make of what had just been told. Sasuke quickly left, saying he would return another time. He ran the entire way back to his room at the inn.

"Sakura was the one he did it..." he said out of breath "Sakura was the one who killed her mother..."

---------- 

Author's Note: More clarification for things I may not have been very clear on. In chapter 10, Sasuke tells Sakura in the food stall that he mistook her for another Sakura. The Sakura he was speaking to, and the Sakura who will be mentioned from here on out is the real Sakura. This other Sakura that Sasuke periodically refers is something he made up on the spot so that Sakura doesn't realize she is the person he's looking for. So there is no other Sakura, Sasuke only pretends there is to keep something of a cover. Get what I mean?


	12. Beneath the Surface

[ **Chapter 12: Beneath the Surface** ]

Quick set-up: a few months has passed since Sasuke first arrived in Feint Village. I'm skipping all that 'getting to know you' development. You can fill in how Sakura came to trust him on your own. That sounds a little mean on my part, but if I were to do it I would take FOREVER!

---------- 

Sasuke followed Sakura in the rain as she purposely walked away from him. He was getting frustrated. He had pieces of the situation, but he couldn't quite put them all together. Sakura was alive, that is for sure. Other than her name and what happened to her in the past three, Sakura had no memories of what was going on. Sakura was also something of a prostitute who usually kills all the men before actually sleeping with them. She takes orders from a caretaker she refuses to identify for now, and for some reason that caretaker of hers decided to have her kill her own mother... Sasuke had to find out who the caretaker was. To do that without actually asking, he would have to ask about what she remembered about her recent past... But she always dodged the question. If not by politely changing the subject, she would simply get up and leave, sometimes in a rage.

"Listen to me, Sakura!" Sasuke said angrily grabbing onto her arm "I thought we went through this already! I'm here to help you!"  
"I know you are!" she said snatching her arm back "But I don't want to be helped right now!"  
"What the hell, Sakura? I'm going out of my way to help you out and you just decide to not cooperate when you don't feel like it. You were fine with my help just a minute ago, and then all of a sudden you don't want my help? All of a sudden you just get up and leave?"  
"Look! Didn't I just say I don't want to be helped right now? Why are you trying to help someone who doesn't need help?!" "Because you **do** need it, Sakura!"  
"You don't even know me, Sasuke."  
Sasuke stopped, as if hurt by the comment. "What are you talking about? I've been here for well over a few months!"  
"A few months isn't a long time... You don't know me."  
"That may be true." Sasuke said "But out of everyone in this whole town, I'm the one who knows you best. Second to you."  
_Third to **him**_ Sakura thought. "That isn't saying much... I don't even know myself..."  
There was a long pause. Sasuke could sense the sadness in Sakura's voice.  
"Why are you going to keep it that way? Why won't you let me change that?"

Sakura stood still with her head lowered towards the ground. The cold rain water hung off her matted hair. A vague sense of anger began to stir in her arms. Without really meaning to, Sakura swung an arm in an attempt to slap Sasuke. He caught her arm before she made contact.

"I don't understand..." she said without moving "Why do you keep trying?"

Sasuke looked at her as she took back her arm. He glanced at the strap of her shirt. The rough edges of the scar could be seen if someone were to look closely.

He couldn't answer.

----- 

_From beneath the surface of the water, everything above looks blurred and unreal..._ Sakura lifted her arm to look at it from her position at the bottom of the bath tub. The edge of her limb rippled along with the surroundings outside the water. _Even I don't look real..._ Sakura sat up to catch her breath, then sank back down with her eyes closed. She liked the feel of water surrounding her. The empty spaces the threatened to engulf her existence would not be a problem if she was surrounded by water. It did, however, allow her to think. The calmness of the water cleared her mind almost too well. The hustle and bustle of the vending street kept her preoccupied most of the day. And then there was Sasuke, who she didn't mind for the most part. Sakura didn't want to admit it, but she liked his company. With the exception of the food vendors she frequented, Sasuke was the only face she saw on a fairly regular basis and it was nice. She didn't even see _him_ (AN: as in the unidentified man from a few chapters ago) that often. It was nice having someone around that she knew.

There was an adverse effect, however. Sasuke kept on asking her questions, some she didn't want to answer, mostly because she didn't want to think about it. His questions forced her to delve into a place she'd rather not be. It was also frustrating for her because he was always so ambiguous. He says he wants to help her, but he never specified how he was going to help her or why he wanted to help her in the first place. For the time being, Sakura avoided Sasuke. She had steam to blow off and she was going to take her time if need be.

Sakura sat up to catch her breath. After a few moments she sank back underneath the surface, this time with her eyes closed. Thought noise dissipated, disjointed memories filtered in. In the darkness of her closed eyes, Sakura could hear a mix of voices echo in her mind.

_ Do you like killing?  
  
All I wanted to do was see you again...  
  
Kill that woman...  
  
Is that your favorite ramen flavor?  
  
I like my women rough.  
  
Vend your body.  
  
This is Feint Village.  
  
Come with me. My name is...   
  
_

Sakura shifted underneath the water. The flow of thoughts was beginning to take an unwelcome turn, but too fast was the current and eventually the flow ran into a nightmare.

_ You're lucky he decided to save you...  
  
_

Sakura pulled herself up from under the water with a gasp. The sound of screaming could be heard in the background of her nightmare.

----- 

"Shit..." Sasuke said underneath his breath as the innkeeper held out an open hand. "What am I supposed to do for lodging, now?"  
"That's not my problem." the innkeeper said without sympathy.  
Sasuke tossed the room key in the innkeeper's direction and turned away with a groan. _What am I going to do now? Sakura doesn't want to speak to me and now I have no where to stay... Shit._

...

It was a week before Sakura saw Sasuke again. She noticed Sasuke walk onto Feint Village's main street holding a bag of his belongings. She took a moment to assess what was going on. She didn't plan on talking to him any time soon, but looking at him now he appeared to be leaving.

"Hey." she said getting his attention "What are you doing?"  
"I've been kicked out." he replied "It's apparently their busy season and they're forcing me to leave since I've been there for so long."  
"Will you be checking in at the other inn?"  
"No. I heard the other inn is also filling up."  
"So what are you going to do?" Sakura asked, trying her best not to sound anxious "Are you leaving for good?"  
"I don't know... I don't know..."

A moment of silence sunk between them. The growing tension between them had not been completely diffused. Sasuke walked away.

"Sa..." Sakura started faintly "Sasuke! Look... If you want to stay... Stay with me. The house I stay in is abandoned, but the rooms are still usable. So if you want to..."  
Sasuke looked at her for a few moments. His eyes, again, trailing towards the scar on her chest. "May I?"

...

Sakura used the largest room in the house. It was twice the size of a normal room and had a porch to the side. Sasuke observed the room. Even though Sakura had been staying in the same place for well over a year, it was mostly empty. Her bedding was left unmade in the back corner. Next to it was a candle lamp and a chest of belongings.

"Do you really need all this space?" Sasuke asked.  
"It was the best room in the house." Sakura replied.  
"Well... I don't mind settling for second best."

Sasuke walked over towards the door to the hallway. His steps queitly echoed through the room.

"Wait!" Sakura said stopping him. "…Do you want to... share this room?"  
Sasuke looked at her incredulously. She didn't want to speak with him that morning, now she wants to share a room? "What?" "Share this room. It's big enough for both of us to use... I can put in a sliding door to separate it. It's made out of paper, but it should be enough to keep it private."  
_Now that sounds more like her._ "Are you sure about that? I can use another room if you aren't."  
"It's okay, I was the one who suggested it... Besides... I don't really like being alone... I never really noticed that until you came around..."  
Sasuke looked at Sakura, absorbing the meaning of her words. "I guess that means you're not mad at me, anymore."

----- 

Sasuke watched Sakura stare out at the sky. She seemed so sad...Sasuke could see the crevice going down the middle of Sakura's back through the mesh of her shirt. He wondered if she spent a lot of days just sitting on the porch of her room thinking and exactly how many people were able to look at the crevice the way he did. _Maybe one person..._ he thought to himself, a little resentful of the thought. Sakura's hand moved in front of her. He winced a little when he saw her move it to her upper chest. He couldn't tell from his view behind her, but it seemed like she was touching her scar. Thinking about it, being reminded that it was there, gave him the slightest sting. It reminded him of a past they used to share. A past he killed three years ago. He'd never seen the scar without the strap covering it, but he was sure it was a hideous sight. Something is hidden beneath the surface of her skin that was ugly. It was something he had created, something he had caused... _No..._ his mind thought _Just stop thinking. Don't think._ Sasuke quickly shook off his swelling guilt and looked back at Sakura who was looking out at the night sky.

...

Sasuke sat up against the wall, unable to sleep. Rather than the usual insomnia, something else kept him up. A candle was lit on the other side of the sliding door that separated their room. He could hear the quiet rustle of cloth from the other side; Sakura was changing. She didn't notice that the silhouette of her shadow could be seen almost perfectly against the thin paper screen. At first, he tried not to look, but eventually he couldn't help it. In the silent stillness of the room, there were few other things to pay attention to. Sasuke's wandering eyes couldn't escape looking in Sakura's direction. He could see the fine details of the shape of her body. Although she had a slim figure, she was not overly skinny. Although she had a well-curved body, they were not grossly defined. Sasuke was sure Sakura had been doing some form of training over the years, maybe not rigorous training, but certainly enough to keep her in such good shape. Sakura had the appearance of a woman who had control over her body. It held an almost perfect balance of size and shape, and to top it off, her clothing was somewhat revealing, but not in a dirty raunchy way.

Sasuke couldn't help notice these things. As asexual as his cool exterior claims to be, Sasuke was still a warm-blooded male. Even though he was never especially attracted to Sakura, he couldn't deny that she was attractive, especially as he saw her now. He watched her every movement. She slipped off her long shorts and replaced them with a shorter, but looser, pair of sleeping shorts. After removing the strap of her shirt, Sakura pulled it over her head. She took a few seconds to reach for a shirt. As she turned to retrieve it, Sasuke could tell she had no top on at all.

"Sasuke?" Sakura said fully changed "Are you awake?"  
"Yes." he answered back.  
"I didn't keep you up, did I?"  
"No. I usually have trouble sleeping, so don't worry about it."

Sasuke watched Sakura's figure move to the sliding door. She sat on the floor with her back against the screen door.

"Is it okay if we talk?" she asked.  
"Sure."  
There was a moment of Silence. "I'm... I'm sorry... I'm sorry about being so rude to you. You know, for the past week. You're only trying to help..."  
"It's okay... I know it's strange for someone you don't really know to help you... So it's okay..."

Sakura let out a small sigh of relief. She looked ahead of her to observe her side of the room. She never noticed before, but her room seemed so empty. Even with the room divided in half there just seemed to be a lot of empty space. She turned her head to look at the screen that separated her side from Sasuke's side. It helped that Sasuke was there. She could feel her back side warm up in recognition of someone else's presence. It has been a while since someone was with her as company. Sakura thought of her caretaker whom she hadn't seen since Sasuke first came to Feint Village. She didn't think much of it, since he is bound to coming and going as his affairs dictate. She would still wonder where he is every once in a while. He isn't the kind of person she could just forget, especially since she has been reminded of him (her caretaker) a lot lately. Sakura felt numerous times that he was actually there. She even caught herself once thinking she saw him in Sasuke's face. Sakura decided it really has been too long since she last saw him. She was seeing him in other peoples' faces.

"Thank you for understanding... Again, I know you're only trying to help."  
"I should apologize too." Sasuke said "Sometimes I forget I'm doing things for your sake..."  
There was a pause "Okay... I'll try to answer your questions, then. At least, as best as I will let myself... You can start now... I think I can handle it."

Sasuke thought for a minute. He didn't want to ask a question that would get a bad reaction out of her. Even if she said she was okay, Sasuke thought it was best to let her talk at her own pace. He had to think of an unobtrusive question, at least for now.

"Why did you let me stay here?"  
Another pause.  
"... Because I don't being alone... Remember? I told you I got used to your company... You were leaving and I had this place all to myself..."  
"I see."  
More pausing.  
"... And..." Sakura said in a quiet voice "... And I don't like empty spaces... I don't like the way emptiness feels... That's why I let you stay here... It works out for both of us."

---------- 

Author's Notes: Yeah, yeah. Another choppy and jumpy chapter up. I had to skip how Sakura's trust developed, where the tension came from, and some other junk I can't think of at the moment.. Hopefully we can all imagine how that goes on our own. I'm getting burnt out trying to write this because there are parts I want to write and there are parts that I don't care for so much. And another fic idea popped in my head in the middle of writing this chapter which was hard to bang out to begin with since I wasn't very sure of how I wanted it to go. Blahhhhh.


	13. The Passionless

[ **Chapter Thirteen: The Passionless** ]

Something of a sexual sort here. No actual sex, but mentions and tensions. Be warned, this isn't a waning trend. This story is, after all, rated R.

----- 

"You say you're still a virgin, right?" Sasuke asked Sakura as they sat on the porch of their room.  
"Right."  
"You still do end up getting a little intimate with them... What's the farthest you've ever gone?"

Sakura looked out at the rain ahead of them. Fall weather was already settling in. Rain had been pouring for almost a week straight. Somehow the rain was depressing her. But first was the question at hand. As of late, Sakura hasn't been feeling to well. Something was bothering her deep down inside, but she was being asked about her sexuality. _Well... Whatever he wants to know..._, Sakura thought, a little puzzled by this turn of topic.

"The farthest I've ever gone was with _him_..."  
"_Him_?" Sasuke said, sounding almost disgusted, though he didn't know who _he_ was.  
"That first night... It was the worst night... I hated what I was doing... But _he_ came to me... I guess he was doing it for me comfort."  
"Did you...?"  
"No, I didn't. He held me and he kissed me... But he did nothing more."  
"Would you have if he'd gone farther?"

Sakura looked out at the rain again.

"I... I don't really know..."

----- 

Sasuke hustled into the main entrance holding a bag of food to go. Sakura insisted she didn't like being out in the rain. She said it drains her whenever she's out there. Sasuke was charged with getting food for the day. Two main meals and a snack. He didn't mind the errand as long as Sakura was the one paying, it's not like he had a problem with the weather. Also, he'd been asking her questions about her recent past, all of which made her react with a sort of sadness.

He placed the food on his side of the room since that was where they were going to eat. Sasuke soon learned that Sakura did everything in that room. Other than the bathroom, Sakura spent most of her time in the room they slept in. It made sense since it wasn't exactly a bedroom. The large space, the wooden floor, and the opening to the porch were really part of a living room or an area meant for keeping guests. It didn't matter either way. They don't exactly live there and no one is really keeping track.

Sasuke wiped off the remaining raindrops from his face. Feeling quite ragged in his moist clothing, he decided to take a bath. Sasuke looked ahead of him as he quietly stepped towards the bath area. It took him a while to get used the partition. It was really there for the novelty of having something in the way, but really it did nothing to cover what was going on inside. It helped that Sasuke and Sakura were the only people in the house and that they were able to track where the other person was fairly well. Although he didn't check, he was sure Sakura was napping on her side of the room. She always napped at about that same hour when it rained so he figured it was safe.

As he approached the 'door', Sasuke heard the sound of water dripping. Sakura was up. She sat in the tub her hair was up in a small bun, loose strings of hair hung damply about her shoulders. Sasuke watched without thinking. He didn't do so because of a sick voyeuristic impulse, his eyes were simply drawn to the glisten of her skin. She sat in the middle of the tub with her shoulders and knees peaking out from under the water, her knees pulled close to her chest. Sasuke listened to the sound of the crackling fire keeping the water warm. Sasuke couldn't help feeling something was wrong. She sat few still and very close to herself. It seemed as if she was isolated from her current setting, and trapped deep inside her thoughts. Sad and painful thoughts, he was sure, was pulling her into that state. He'd seen it a few times, Sakura drifting off into a place he can't seem to reach or even get her to talk about. Sasuke continued to watch, the allure of her glistening skin mixed with her sadness compelled him to look.

Sakura made a quiet sniff, sounding as if she were crying. She lifted her hands up to cover her face, her body shaking just barely. Now it was obvious something was wrong. Sasuke took a step towards her with uncertainty. Startled by the sound of the creaking floor, Sakura quickly looked up to see who was there.

"Sasuke?" she asked looking past the partition.

She saw nothing. Next to the door frame, Sasuke stood with his back against the wall.

----- 

_Darkness surrounded Sakura. She could see nothing except a perfect pitch black. There was no difference between her eyes being open and her eyes being closed. Although she couldn't see anything, she could tell she was laying down. Invisible hands held her forcefully onto the ground. Her breath was ragged and made irregular by rough movements she couldn't see. Sakura didn't understand what was going on, but she knew it wasn't pleasant. Pain reverberated through her body, its source still unknown to her. She tried to speak, but a hand was covering her mouth. A male voice buzzed in her ear. She couldn't tell what was being said, but she could tell it was being directed at her. She tried to move again, but the hands held her down in the darkness. She peered up from the ground, feeling a pair of eyes looking at her. There was a sucession of screams followed by a flash of red._

Sakura suddenly sat up gasping for breath. She sat in her place breathing heavily. Wiping of the sweat from her forehead, she lit the candle of her lamp. It wasn't the first time she had that nightmare. She's had it a few times in the past and a lot more recently. Sakura hated it. Her body felt wretched in that nightmare. She couldn't see what was happening, a part of her didn't want to. Sakura felt the billowing of sadness, fear, and anger reacting as if it had all really happened. It felt overwhelmingly real.

_It was so empty... The kind of empty no one deserves to live in..._

_No one..._

"Sakura?" Sasuke said from the other side of the room.  
"Sa-Sasuke?" Sakura called back in distress.  
"Sakura?... Sakura, I'm coming over."

Sasuke slowly slid the door open. She sat up in her bed, her body held tightly in the fetal position. Stepping cautiously onto her side, he sat down next to her. Sakura did nothing but sit still beside Sasuke. Her eyes were fixed blankly at the ground.

"Sakura?"

Sasuke sat next to her, looking at her without knowing what to do. Sakura still said nothing. After a few minutes, Sasuke considered going back to his side. He peered down at her scar. _It's still there._ he thought. It's discolored and ridged edges made it difficult for him to leave. He couldn't bear the guilt of that scar being there... Somehow he felt like he couldn't leave.

More long moments passed in stillness. He couldn't stay up next to her the entire night. He slowly moved, making sure Sakura knew he was simply leaving to his side of the room. He looked at her scar one last time before turning towards the sliding door.

Sasuke felt a tugging at his arm. Looking down, Sakura held onto it loosely while still holding her head down.

"Can you stay, Sasuke?" she asked quietly "... Please... Stay with me... tonight..."

...

Sasuke had his head up a little so he could watch Sakura sleep. It was still raning. She curled up slightly while sleeping on her side facing him. The strap of her sleeping shirt carelessly fell over her shoulder. Something about the situation was familiar. Someone had an outburst; someone else was staying with them in bed. It was just like a few years ago when Sasuke broke down and asked Sakura to stay with him. Even her sleeping clothes were similar. White boxer shorts and a white undershirt with thin straps and a low neckline. The only thing that made it different was the lack of embroidered cherry blossoms and the fabric was thinner. He could almost see through it.

Sasuke put his head down, his eyes still on the sleeping Sakura. A heavy sense of tiredness descended upon his eyes. For once in a long time, Sasuke felt like sleeping. He eyed Sakura one last time. The last thing he looked at was her unchanged scar. It was still there, that scar. It was a fact of his fixed guilt, something that would remind him of reckless mistakes.

...

Sasuke woke up to the sounds of Sakura's restless shifting. She was having another nightmare, he was sure. He noticed since he started sharing the room that she didn't sleep well. In fact, it seemed like it was getting worse each time. Her movements were so vigorous, she eventually woke herself up. Sakura's eyes shot up as if she woke up from a sudden jolt. She looked at Sasuke was scared eyes. Sitting up, she buried her face in her hands.

"Why does it feel so real..." Sakura said with a shaky voice "Why does it have to feel so real?"  
Sasuke sat up and moved a little closer to her. "Why does what feel so real?"  
"These dreams... They come even when I don't sleep... They feel so real..."  
"What's wrong with them? What do you dream about?"  
"It was so dark... I could feel the pressure of hands holding me down. They were passionless hands; they were cold and dry... They kept pushing me down in an empty darkness... I couldn't tell what was going on because it was so dark... But I could tell it wasn't something good... I could feel it in my dream... I can even feel it now..."

Sasuke looked silently as Sakura. He could tell she was earnestly scared. He looked at her, his eyes, again, were drifting towards the scar on her chest... Slowly they moved upwards towards her eyes... They still had a look of fear in them. His eyes moved again.

Somehow it occurred to him to look at her lips...

"Even though I could feel hands against me," Sakura continued "I didn't feel like anyone was there... It was dark and felt so empty... I'm afraid of that emptiness... It feels like something I've always been afraid of..."

Sakura started shaking again. This time panicked for something to do for her, Sasuke opened his arms. Without thinking, the Sakura found her way into them, still shaking.

"Sasuke..." she said breathlessly "Sasuke, I'm scared..."

Over the months since he first arrived, he noticed that Sakura had a rough strength that he attributed to the village setting. Passing through Feint Village would be fine for the spineless, but actually staying there was a different story. And for Sakura, she had to be stronger than the person Sasuke once knew in order to live there. Her prostitution had a rough and reckless quality to it. Killing isn't for the faint-hearted, he knew, and Sakura proved to be removed from that... But as he held her shaking form in his arms, Sasuke could feel something achingly vulnerable about her. As he held her, he could feel her weakness. He felt that he had to shelter that weakness in whatever way he can. Sasuke looked at Sakura's scar. He couldn't explain why he felt that obligation, he wasn't even thinking about it.

"Sakura..."

Sasuke whispered her name in an unfamiliar tender voice. He didn't think, he only noticed. Sakura settling in his arms as he sat up. Sakura with her trembling lips. Sakura in her vulnerable form. She shook so violently against him, she was so scared of something she couldn't explain. Sasuke noticed this, somehow he had to react.

Sakura probably should have seen it coming. Before she knew it, Sasuke's lips pressed against her own. In it's own self-perpetuation motion, Sakura felt her and Sasuke slowly moved down against her mattress, lips still locked together. Sasuke was eventually laying on his back with Sakura pressed on top of him. He was still kissing her. She didn't understand what was going on or why she was kissing Sasuke. But somehow she couldn't stop. She couldn't help returning his sweet kisses as if she had been hungering for them all her life. His hand slipped underneath her shirt. Sakura could feel her body not resisting. She didn't understand.

Rain drops continued to fall from the night sky. The light of the room went out.

--------- 

Author's Notes: so goes another chapter. I wonder...

First: Thanks to all you readers. I still, and always will, appreciate it. I read and consider every comment to the best of my abilities. The effort on your part is much appreciated. Oh, and if you really have any comments or questions you'd like for me to address directly, feel free to email me. I love getting email and will happily answer.

Second: Sorry for the drag in chapters. Writers block, that's all there is to it.


	14. Something in the Wind

[ **Chapter Fourteen: Something in the Wind** ]

MILD WARNING: Again, more implied sex and no explicit doings of.

---------- 

The telling signs of the night before sprawled itself all over the floor. Sasuke's side of the room was empty. Sheets and blankets on the other side hac been pushed off. Articles of clothing lay carelessly on the floor. Sasuke looked down at Sakura who was asleep. With both of them fully undressed and a bed sheet pulled down to their waists, Sasuke had a full view of Sakura's bare upper body. He gave a solemn stare to the scar on her chest.

_Still there..._

He laid back down with his back facing towards Sakura. They did it. It was once, twice, maybe a few times through the night. Neither of them seemed to have been thinking at the time. Both Sasuke and Sakura were aware of what they were doing, but neither seemed to really have had any control over themselves or the situation. Everything was blurry that night, like a drunken dream. He could feel the press of her body against and around him; he could feel her with a blurry sense of pleasure, but stil... Something was missing.

The moment Sasuke entered Sakura's body, he paused. He wasn't thinking about it at the time, but looking back at those intimate moments together, he realized something was missing.

Sasuke peered over his shoulder to glance at Sakura who had a deadweight expression on her face. She was having a dreamless sleep.

---------- 

(begin flashback)

Sakura sniffed as she sobbed alone in her room. Although she'd already taken a bath, she could still smell Jin's blood on her skin. Being with a man and killing him were things she didn't want to do when it came to it. But she couldn't find it in her to refuse a suggestion made by _him_. That was her predicament. She didn't want to go through the sort of thing she went through with Jin, but she didn't want to go back on his suggestion. She couldn't.

Sakura watched as the door on the porch side to her room slowly slid open. He stood at the door looking back at her. The long tresses of his hair blowing forward by the wind behind him.

"How was it?" he asked.  
Sakura looked at him with red-rimmed and tired eyes. "Do I look like I enjoyed myself?"

Sakura stared ahead of her. She wasn't expecting anything from him. Despite her dedication to him, she held no glorified image of him in her mind. He wasn't at all compassionate. Throughout the time she's known him, he'd been a quiet and secluded person. Everything was based on necessity, so much that illogical aspects like feelings and emotions were void in his way of doing things. For those reasons, Sakura never expected much.

But he had provided for her. It was only because of him that she was able to subsist for as long as she could remember (which isn't all that long).

Sakura continued to cry, but more quietly now that he was there and making her self-conscious.

"You're going to keep on doing this." he said flatly, not as a command, but as a prediction. He could read Sakura well. He knew she was going to do as he suggested whether she liked it or not.

Sakura sniffed again from her tears and said nothing. Of course she was. He knew it, she knew it.

"I'm alive and surviving because of you..." she said as a reply.

He looked at her as sat huddled to herself in the corner for a few moments.

"Are you alone?" he asked.  
"Am I alone?" she repeated, surprised at the question.

He walked to her and kneeled beside her.

"You look lonely."  
Sakura looked away "That was a dumb question to ask me."  
"You don't like being with a man the way you were with Jin, do you?"  
"Of course I don't." she quickly answered.  
"You're a good girl, then." he said "Good girls shouldn't be alone."

Sakura looked at him with slightly widened eyes. For just a split second, she could trace a sense of tenderness in his voice. He started to move in a way very unlike him.

He leaned over.

He kissed her.

(end flashback)

---------- 

Sasuke held himself up a little to lessen his weight as he lay on top of Sakura. His lips moved slowly from her mouth, down her neck and finally to her bare chest. He grazed the surface of his face lightly on her upper chest. He closed his eyes and ran his tongue along the surface of her scar. Sakura laid perfectly still as he did this. Sasuke lifted himself up a little. With Sakura's face slightly blurred from his vision. Sasuke looked down at her scar.

_Still there..._

Few other thoughts ran through his mind, as it tended to do when they were intimate with each other. It'd been a week or two since their first night together, almost everyday they had sex. The intoxicating feel of skin against skin blurred out every sense of logic Sasuke was capable of. It was the first time he had been with a woman that way, it was a feeling he knew he could easily get addicted to. The overwhelming intimacy of two people joining together, the physical closeness that they shared was so poignant a feeling that it detached them from their existence in the real world. Their identities were meaningless. Feint village was meaningless. Konaha was meaningless. Uchiha Sasuke was meaningless. Haruno Sakura was meaningless. All of reality was lost in their moments together. Everything could be forgotten.

Sasuke had a feeling there would be that effect. For a while now, he'd hope to take away the pain left from Sakura's past. He was convinced he'd caused that look in her eyes. Whatever it was that she had nightmares about, whatever it was that happened to her in that first year she blotted out from her memory, Sasuke was sure he'd caused it. That piercing look of fear, sadness, and confusion in her eyes brought him so much guilt that he was almost desparate to do something. The first night together he tried to absorb Sakura's pain. It always came back later in the day, but he would still try. Removing her from it, even though it was only temporary, was all he could do about it.

...

Sakura held onto Sasuke's hand as she slept with the same deadweight expression on her face. Sasuke pulled it away as he turned around to sleep.

----- 

Sakura had a 'customer' for the first time in a long time, which meant Sasuke had to sleep alone in the room for the first time since he'd left the inn. He only managed to get partially asleep; traces of his old sleeping habits began to filter through. Half-concious and half-dreaming, the part of Sasuke that was awake waited for Sakura to return.

Sasuke laid straight on his back with his hands folded together underneath his head. He thought/dreamt about Sakura. He saw her lone figure walk slowly across a black horizon. As she walked, he saw glimpses of her features up close. The sway of her hips, the crevice of her back, and the area around her neck and collar bone that seems inviting to the lips. Looking at her in his thought/dream, he saw an attractive image of Sakura: something less innocent, something more alluring. His thought/dream never gave him a view of her whole face. He only saw parts of her body, and a few glances of her lips. The expression her lips carried were dull and indifferent. Her body seemed like it was inviting, but from what he could see on her face, she didn't seem very into it. Sakura's figure stopped. Sasuke's view moved back so that he could see her entire figure from the back side.

The wind howled in Sasuke's thought/dream. It was an eerie wind, the kind that catches a person's attention. It carried the sound of leaves rustling on the ground, lost leaves that fell from their trees and were carried off to a place far away.

A pair of familiar arms reached out from in front of Sakura. A shadowy male figure began to form as the arms wrapped around her. Sakura held her arm up to hold onto the figure. Slowly she turned not moving from her place in the figure's arms. She looked straight at him with said eyes.

An ominous wind howled again.

Sasuke's eyes shot open. The joints of his body began to tremble as the rhythm of his heart increased to a violent thump. He could feel it again. Sasuke could feel _that man's_ presence. His mind went blank. All he could feel was the shaking of his heart and body. The feelings he buried after 'killing' Itachi suddenly resurfaced.

Itachi was still alive.

Sasuke put on his clothing and bolted out of the room. He didn't know where he was running to, but he knew he'd find Itachi along the way. _Why is he still alive?! Why is he still alive?!_ Sasuke thought to himself with bitter confusion. _Why is he still alive!?_ Sasuke stopped at the path leading towards the main street of the village. The wind howled just as it did in his dream/thought.

A black cape patterned with red clouds swayed in the wind. Sasuke stared ahead of him, a pair of crimson eyes stared back indifferently.

"It's been a while, hasn't it..." said an older male voice "... little brother?"

---------- 

Author's Note: isn't it just too bad that the current manga chapters are taking a real turn for Sasuke and Naruto? SasuNaru fans must have some real fuel now for their fandom. Good for them. For myself and other SasuSaku fans, I guess we'll have to wait another day. Another week. Another month. Or however long it will take for Sakura to receive at least an honorable mention in the series. As the anime goes on, we see that the new closing credits, which features images of the female cast at the beach, was created to make up for their lack of presence from that point on. Ho-hum... Well, what else can we expect from a shounen series?

Anyway, who didn't see Itachi coming from a mile away? I'm pretty sure all you readers knew he was bound to reappear again; it's not like I was keeping it a secret. Now it is confirmed. Itachi still has a role to play. Let's see how this unfolds, shall we?


	15. Attending Business

[ **Chapter 15: Attending Business** ]

A fifteen feet distance separated the two remaining Uchiha brothers. Sasuke looked at Itachi with a tense glare, but he received no expression in response.

Itachi was alive. Sasuke hadn't succeeded in avenging his clan. Sasuke hadn't been good enough to kill his brother after all those years for training for that one purpose. Sasuke thought he'd succeeded and almost regretted the empty feeling revenge left.

But what was he going to do now that he knew he had actually failed?

Sasuke could feel his cheeks getting hotter and the strength of his arms sink. He failed. Sasuke failed at achieving the one goal he based his life upon. His resurrected feelings of fear, sadness, and anger were slowly being buried by feelings of shame. Standing there, looking at an Itachi who bore no unseen scars from the past who remained unchanged since the fight that changed Sasuke's life, Sasuke could feel the shame come at him suddenly. He felt as if a door had been slammed in his face just as he approached it. He failed. Uchiha Sasuke--he who excelled at everything, he who got the highest possible marks on everything, he who accomplished everything plain and simple--failed.

So what was he going to do?

Sasuke didn't give it much thought. Needless to say he couldn't. Everything that had been on his mind dropped. All that Sasuke could register is Itachi's figure standing before him. Itachi was alive. Sasuke could feel it all seeing that Itachi was alive. Hate, anger, sadness, confusion.

Shame.

Without saying a word, Sasuke quickly positioned himself to execute chidori. With as much power as he could accumulate at that moment, Sasuke charged at Itachi, the crackling sound of lightning burying his battling wail. As he approached Itachi who stood perfectly still, his vision began to blur just as it did last time, but Sasuke kept on going. Itachi easily dodged Sasuke's attack. Sasuke ran his hand into a tree to absorb the impact, before he could turn he felt a sharp pain shooting down from the back of his neck to his spine. He fell to the ground. Looking up, he saw Itachi standing above him, barely stirred by Sasuke's attack.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. His emotions circulated through his body and mind. _Itachi was alive_, was all he could think. _Itachi was alive._ He was tense, and his insides were shaking. The blow he'd just received from Itachi sent prickling pain throughout his nerves. All he could see was Itachi's icy image. One that had haunted him for so many years.

Itachi continued to look at his brother indifferently. His blood-red eyes showed neither emotions nor any expression.

"You are going to die if you try to kill me now..." he said in a clipped voice "Is that what you want Sakura to find out tomorrow morning?"

Sasuke closed his eyes and said nothing. He had completely forgotten about Sakura. After a few moments, Sasuke opened his eyes again. He could see Itachi walking away from him towards the main street. Sasuke moved forward as if to chase Itachi, but he stopped. There was probably nothing he could do now, especially not with the blow he took from Itachi.

"Wha..." Sasuke said with a dry throat "What are you doing here?" Itachi stopped without turning "I have business to take care of."

----- 

Sasuke sat out on the porch. Sakura still hadn't return from doing her business. However, he wasn't fully intent on waiting for her. Thoughts about his brother kept him up.

There were questions Sasuke should have asked, but didn't. The fact that Itachi's body was never found should have made him and the rest of Konaha think twice about considering Itachi dead. Konaha may let that detail slip either because they knew the Akatsuki was an elite group who could easily make Itachi's body disappear as necessary, or...

Or Konaha, like Sasuke, didn't want to go back to a chapter in history they'd rather forget.

The vague notion of Itachi being alive had always floated in the back of his mind. Sasuke had burnt himself out that night which means his last attack couldn't have been as powerful as his previous attacks. He didn't exactly see Itachi take the blow. Also, he knew Sakura absorbed some of the impact which would mean less damage on Itachi. Although Sasuke fought with everything he had, Sasuke should have known killing Itachi couldn't have been as simple as that. A few details could have said it all, but Sasuke didn't want to think of it. He wanted to relieve himself of everything that once existed under that burden. All the darkness Sasuke had lived under, he hoped would no longer be a part of him. Despite the strong possibility, Sasuke wanted to believe he would never see Itachi again.

But things didn't work out that way.

Sasuke thought about the details of the situation. He was sure Itachi was _that man_ Sakura refers to. They were in the same incident a few years ago, so the connection can easily be made. But now that he knows this, Sasuke knew there are more details for him to seek out. The only way he would be able to do so is by asking her.

Sasuke turned as he heard the sound of the door sliding open. Sakura returned. She said nothing as she walked towards her side of the room. Sasuke watched her blank expression and the hint of tiredness in her eyes. He said nothing to her as she said nothing to him. An empty coldness settled into the room.

"I'm feeling tired tonight." she said "I'll also be out again tomorrow."

Sakura went to sleep without waiting for a reply.

----- 

_The next day, Sakura entered the room and sat next to Sasuke on the porch. She turned towards him, already intent on listening to what Sasuke had to say._

"Listen, Sakura," Sasuke started "I already know who your caretaker is, so there is no use in keeping it a secret."  
"Alright."  
"Sakura... Look... I need to know about him... I think he's dangerous."  
"Dangerous?... If you know him, I understand why you would think he isn't the most saintly of people, but he isn't dangerous... You don't know him like I do."  
"I know what you're saying, Sakura... But you have to believe me on this. That caretaker of yours isn't safe. You'll be in danger, I know you will..."  
"... How can I believe someone I've known for some months?"  
Sasuke looked at Sakura with pleading eyes. "Have I done you wrong so far, Sakura?"  
"Fine. I'll tell you everything..."

Sasuke thought it over in his mind as he laid in bed. He would approach Sakura when she returned. He'd let her know he already know who her caretaker is and ask for whatever details she would seemed willing to give. He hoped she would cooperate as easily as he imagined.

Sakura entered the room. Sasuke watched her as she walked to her side of the room, and he listened as she changed into her sleeping clothes wordlessly. She entered his side of the room again and laid down next to him.

"I'm tired, tonight." was all she said before going to sleep.

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something, but he decided not to pursue a conversation about Itachi. Since Itachi's return, Sakura seemed to have lost all her energy.

Tomorrow, then. he said putting his plan off Tomorrow, I'll talk to her.

Sasuke lay half awake, barely concious of Sakura's low breathing next to him. His mind was slightly buzzed on what to do about Itachi. Getting information would have to be the first step; direct action would be the next. His thoughts slowly flowed into his dreams. His sleeping mind imagined the defeat of Itachi. There was no state of uncontrollable motion, Sasuke knew what he was doing and he defeated Itachi fully aware it was what he wanted and it was what he did. Sasuke looked down upon his brother. Itachi's corps lay motionless. His eyes remained open staring up at nothing in his death. His usually red eyes were now black with an empty haze. The red of Itachi's eyes was now found trailing down from the corner of his mouth and flowing steadly from the deep wound given to him by Sasuke.

"It's over." Sasuke said.

The Sasuke of his dreams looked at his hands, the hands that truly defeated Itachi.

Sasuke picked up the sound of an eerie wind. From the corner of his eyes, he could see cherry blossom petals fall to the ground slowly. He turned around. Sakura stood in the short distance, her hair blowing in the wind. Sasuke could read the expression on her face at first, but it became more and more clear as she came close. _Like ice..._ he thought as Sakura approached him. Sasuke watched as Sakura reached behind her.

"It's over." she said pulling out a kunai and charging towards him.

Sasuke's eyes shot open as he was suddenly pushed into full wakefulness. He pushed up against the ground with one hand to flip himself over and away from Sakura, her kunai only managed to cut him just a little. Sasuke rolled away a few paces. Keeping a crouched position, he looked at Sakura with wide eyes. His put his hand to his lower abdomen where Sakura attacked. There wasn't a deep gash, but it was enough for blood to seep through. Sakura was in a crouched ready position. Her face expressionless, her eyes still like ice. It was a Sakura he hadn't seen before. Unlike those times he'd seen Sakura kill other men, times in which she'd held a desperate anger in her eyes, Sakura looked empty. She seemed fully intent on attacking him, but her manner in doing so was more robotic. She didn't feel what she was doing, not in the way she did killing all her 'customers'. Sasuke couldn't tell or why she was trying to attack him. Was she trying to kill him?

"Sakura," he said "What are you doing?"

Sakura looked at him, still holding her icy expression. Without looking away, she licked off the blood on her kunai.

"Didn't I tell you that if I were told to do so" she said in an emotionless tone "I would kill you?"

Sasuke's eyes widen just a bit more. He could feel it coming from her.

The intention to kill.

---------- 

Author's Notes: as slow as this story may seem to be coming, I swear it will get finished (eventually).


	16. Devotion, As They Say

[ **Chapter Sixteen: Devotion, As They Say** ]

(begin flashback)

Sakura sat on a bench in her place of business. It's been a while since she engaged in her affairs. She had a few when Sasuke first came to Feint Village, but after a while she received no new customers. Itachi entered. He looked at the dead body of a recently slain man and then at Sakura.

"You haven't lost your touch." he said.

She said nothing as Itachi walked over to the dead body and checked for a pulse. After a few minutes, he nodded to confirm the body was dead. With a signal from Itachi, two men instantly appeared behind Itachi. They didn't wear the same Akatsuki garb as Itachi, but they did appear to work under him just barely. Their plain clothes and rough faces made them out as common street thugs, aside from seeing actual interaction; Sakura wouldn't have made the connection between these low lives and someone as reserved as Itachi. The two men eyed Sakura without restraint; she only looked away with a scowl in her eyes. She could feel a strain developed in her temples from their intense stares, but she could do nothing about it.

"Take this body." Itachi said to the men. "See what you can get from and for it."

The two men left with the body. Itachi looked at Sakura who showed no interest in the business side of their affairs which made sense. Her only real concern was doing as she was told. She didn't have many other choices. As far as she knows, Itachi was the only person she had. What that meant to Itachi was something he didn't mull over. It was simply a fact to him. Sakura had no one else.

"So?" Sakura said in a questioning tone "You usually don't have me stick around to see this. What is it that you want?"  
"I usually don't give you information on all the men I send here because there is no need. But in this case it's necessary."  
"Okay, then. What is it?"  
"That man you have been with," he said with knowing tone "what is his name?"  
"You sound like you already know, and I'm sure you do... Does Sasuke ring a bell?"  
"That's what I thought his name was."  
"What about him?"  
"I have observed your relationship to him. I want to warn you that he is dangerous, particularly to you."

A sharp wind blew outside. Sakura said nothing.

(end flashback)

---------- 

Sasuke slowly stood up while keeping his eyes focused on Sakura. She mimicked his motions so that both of them were no longer crouching. They stood facing each other waiting for the other to make a move first.

"Why are you doing this?" Sasuke asked.

A few moments passed in silence. Suddenly, she ran towards Sasuke her kunai ready to attack, a stoic expression still covered her face.

---------- 

(begin flashback, again)

"What are you talking about?" Sakura asked in barely detectable disbelief.  
"That man you stay with... Sasuke... He is dangerous."  
"Why do you say so?"  
"Sasuke comes from a village called Konaha. There, he is wanted for the murder of a girl named Haruno Sakura."  
"Haruno Sakura?" Sakura repeated as if it were a stranger's name.  
"I don't know the details, but I heard Sakura was a friend of his. She was disappeared a few years ago and is now considered dead. Her death was just recently connected to Sasuke, so now he is wanted for murder."

Sakura slumped over in thought. The strain in her temples slowly returned. _Wanted for murder?_ she thought as she brought back memories from when she first met Sasuke. _Haruno... Sakura... Could she be that girl he was talking about when we first met?... She was considered a friend of his before he killed her..._

_…You see, you look a lot like someone I've been looking for... Her name is also Sakura...  
  
That Sakura is gone, now….  
  
…I want to help you… _

Itachi looked at Sakura who was in deep thought. He knew she would be slightly hesitant in this task. He also knew that in the end she would do it.

(end flashback)

---------- 

Sakura attacked Sasuke with a slash of her kunai which he easily dodged. Without recovering from her miss, Sakura turned for a kick which was also easily dodged. She did not relent in her efforts. Sakura continued to throw attacks in Sasuke's direction. She was stronger and faster than he last remembered. He'd already guessed that from watching her kill all those men. He could also see, especially now as he was fighting her, a sense of recklessness in her actions. Sasuke was almost sure that Sakura was well aware of Sasuke's strength and abilities. His build alone made it obvious that he was stronger, and there were a few instances in which his faster reflexes and easy use of skills were used. So Sasuke was sure that Sakura came into this attack knowing he could easily defeat her. That reckless look in her eyes proved it. She knew she was fighting a battle she couldn't win.

And that disturbed him.

---------- 

(begin flashback) 

Sakura looked away as Itachi passed to leave. Just as he predicted, Sakura did as she was told without question. _Devoted, it's usually called._ Itachi thought. That was Sakura to him, always doing without question. Looking away was the only form of slight protest she could muster. It wasn't even a protest in the true sense. It was more of a signal that she wasn't very happy with her new target. But even so, she agreed. Sakura told herself from the beginning that she would always accept Itachi's will. She did so out of her imagined obligation to him. He who gave her a life when she couldn't remember anything except her first name.

"He's strong, you know." Sakura said just as Itachi slid the door open. "A lot more stronger and faster than I am... You've never made me deal with someone I couldn't handle..."  
"He has his weaknesses." Itachi replied "You won't get killed. There's a chance that you won't depending on how much affected by his weakness he will be."  
Sakura closed her eyes, a solemn look descended upon her face. "You mean the chances that he will hold back based on his feelings for me?"

The wind howled again.

"There is that possibility, Sakura. And if there is, you won't be killed."

Sakura didn't want to consider what feelings had to do with the situation. His sentiments as well as her own.

Considering the murder of Haruno Sakura, Sakura was sure she would also become a victim. Sakura did draw some striking parallels in her situation and the situation of Haruno Sakura. Sakura had a feeling she would meet the same end as the girl; either way she would be in danger. But it didn't matter. She would accept the task regardless of the possibility of her getting injured or killed. Above all else, Sakura was going to do as Itachi told her. She owed it to him.

(end flashback)

---------- 

Sasuke scowled at the thoughts that ran through his mind. Sakura was involved enough with Itachi to go into a fighting knowing she could very well be killed. It seemed to him that Sakura even accepted her possible death. Sasuke could feel a twinge of something inside his being. Acknowledging what Sakura was doing affected him in a way unexpected. It was stupid, he thought, they way Sakura is willing to throw her life away so easily. And for Itachi? He was going to be sure of not attacking Sakura back. Sasuke was not going to attack Sakura, Sakura was not going to face a death she accepted for Itachi. Sakura could take that look in her eyes back. She could stop being reckless. She could stop being so damn devoted. Sasuke was going to make sure of it.

He owed it to her.

Sasuke blocked Sakura's advances slowly backing towards the sliding door of the porch. A little bogged down by the number and ferocity of her attacks, Sasuke threw a kunai of his own, but rather than throwing it at her, he threw it past her. Unsure of what he was doing, Sakura looked back towards the direction he threw it in. She immediately regretted her action after seeing he'd simply thrown it into the wall. In the few seconds she took to turn around, Sasuke made a circular low kick which caused Sakura to fall to the ground. Wasting no time, Sasuke quickly slid the door open and ran out, taking a few moments to look back at Sakura who watched him run with the same icy look she had on from before.

---------- 

Author's Notes: Phew! Got that one done. I know, I know. A long time for such a short chapter. I have a feeling the coming chapters will be much the same. But I'll keep on going. This sucker will get done, I swear!


	17. A Feeling of Conflict

**Chapter Seventeen: A Feeling of Conflict **

_Itachi..._ Sasuke thought _Itachi, Itachi, Itachi... Why are you back here? Why are you haunting me again? All these years I thought you were dead and that I could forget about you... But you're back, and now I have to chase you... That's my curse, isn't it?... I realized that recently... The second you mentioned Sakura's name when I chased you, I realized I forgot all about her. The months I spent solely focusing on figuring her out suddenly meant nothing when you came into the picture... I remembered those years I admired you, the day you murdered our clan, and the years I spent trying to get revenge... My years up until I thought I defeated you were spent focusing on you somehow... You were always my goal... It's a curse now... I'm damned to pursue you through love or through hate... It is my curse to chase you until the end of one of us, whichever comes first... A part of me may still admire you... But for this curse, I hate you... I fucking hate you, Uchiha Itachi..._

_And Sakura... I don't know if she can tell yet, but there's something wrong with us, her and I..._

----- 

"So we're leaving tomorrow?" said a young woman said to a young man who was her husband.  
"First thing tomorrow." he replied as he handed her a bowl of noodles.  
The young woman took a bite of the noodles and quickly took a gulp of her drink. "Ah... That's an interesting taste!"  
The young man chuckled. "Maybe I'll take the spicier bowl." He switched bowls with his wife and took a bite. He too grabbed his drink for a sip. "Wow. That is an interesting taste."  
His wife nodded. "The food from most of the stalls we've been to have had an extra something in it."  
"You know, you're right... I think it has something to do with the place itself... I mean all these travelers... Perhaps they leave bits and pieces of the flavor from where they come from."  
"That makes sense. I'm surprised we even found this place. It isn't eve-"  
"Itachi!!!"

The young couple looked at Sasuke with a confused expression on their faces as he barged in. His eyes desperately searched the room. When he didn't find what he was looking for he muttered "Fuck." under his breath and left. The young couple looked at their open door and listen to Sasuke repeat the process at the room next to them.

Sasuke searched every stall on the main street and was now searching every room in both inns. With Sakura fully intent on killing him, Sasuke's only place choice for answer was the root of his problems: Itachi. It dawned upon him as he fled from Sakura that it was the only thing left for him to do. Realizing that the girl will probably come after him caused him to search with such haste.

He already had a pile of questions that need answers. What is Itachi's relationship to Sakura? What have they been doing all these years? How was Sasuke going to kill Itachi once and for all? Sasuke clenched his fist after briefly remembering there was still that matter. He walked out onto the street, lost on almost all hope.

Itachi was no where to be found.

Sasuke slammed his fist into a nearby wall. He was getting no where fast. Where could Itachi possibly be? Sasuke's attention was drawn away as a staggering drunk pair walked in the middle of the street.

"L-loook... you..." said the male drunk "I'm not gonna shame myself by sleeping with a goddamn whore, alright?!"  
"You're already drunk." said the female, who was a little less drunk than companion "Too late for shame, don't you think?"  
The man began to tip over as he walked, his companion half-heartedly tried to catch him.  
"Besides," the female said "for the right price I'll show you a good time."

Sasuke watched the prostitute lead the drunk man towards the inn near the begining of the street. _It could be a long shot..._, he thought,_ but he just might be there..._

----- 

Two shadows loomed against the moonlight that came in through the open window. Heavy dark clouds slowly moved into the cool, crisp sky.

"What's wrong, Sakura?" Itachi said in the silence "Why were you hesitating?"  
Sakura kept her face away from Itachi's gaze. "It's nothing... I just couldn't concentrate at the time because I was tired..."

Sakura began to move away.

"This time I will get him." she said as she walked out the door.  
"Sakura." Itachi said stopping her "You've always had the habit of ignoring the truths that you don't want to hear."  
Sakura looked back at him from the corner of her eye. "What does that have to do with anything?" she said displeased with his words.  
"I thought you should know that before you head out to Sasuke... Don't let that habit get in your way."

----- 

Sasuke slipped through the broken barrier to the back alley where Sakura poses as a prostitute. He knew Sakura won't be attending to any business since he was her business. Although there is no reason why Itachi would be there, but it would be worth the try. He entered the stall. No one appeared to be there. Sasuke walked further into the abandoned stall with his back facing the entrance. He stood for long moments. Sakura is trying to kill him. Itachi is still alive. What will he do now? Sasuke was getting frustrated with the situation. He didn't know what he was going to do. He could only get angry as he stood at a loss for a plan of action. He was angry at Itachi for being alive. He was angry at Sakura for making things difficult by wanting to kill him.

The sound of quite foot steps came from behind him. Sasuke turned.

It was Sakura.

She had same icy expression in her face as before.

"This is the end for someone." Sakura said in an icy tone.

Sasuke watched the emotionless expression on Sakura's face. Her eyes had nothing in them. It was as if she were a doll. She was Itachi's doll. She was a lifeless no one who did as Itachi wanted just because he said to. Somehow, it made Sasuke angry. Not too long ago, Sakura adored him. Now, she is blindly following Itachi's word.

"Why do you believe in your death so much?" Sasuke said, anger filtering into his voice.  
"I have my reasons." she said, he stoic voice irritating Sasuke.  
"Stop that, will you?" Sasuke said aggravated.  
"I'm not going to stop trying to kill you."  
"No, not that. Stop sounding like a goddamn ice queen. You're not supposed to be a heartless killer."  
"You knew what my job is, being heartless is part of it."  
"It doesn't apply to me. I'm your fucking friend! We fucking sleep together!"  
"I told you at the beginning if the order came, I'd kill you. It doesn't matter how close you think we are."  
"Sakura..." Sasuke said in a softer tone "Why? Why can't you forget that and let me set things straight..."  
"Set things straight? By killing me?"  
"Killing you? I'm not going to kill you. I barely defended myself when you were attacking me."  
"I don't believe you, Sasuke... For all I know, you really don't care about me."  
"Does our friendship mean nothing to you?"  
"Friendship?... Tell me about friendship... Tell me about your deceased friend, Haruno Sakura."  
"Haruno Sakura? I already told you about her."  
"Well, you must have skipped the part where you murder the girl."  
"Murder?... I didn't murder-"  
"Don't try to convince me otherwise." Sakura said, interrupting Sasuke "Maybe you have forgotten because you've been busy trying to deceive me, but you are currently wanted for the murder of Haruno Sakura in Konaha. The word is spreading to other villages. You're lucky no one really thinks this village exists because you would be caught... Eventually, though, someone will stumble on this place and it will be the end for you... Get it over with and let me kill you."

Sasuke was taken aback at the words he just heard. When he left Konaha, the village agreed to consider Sakura missing, and then dead from whatever dangers she faced while gone... Now her death was connected to him? It didn't make sense.

"Where did you hear that from?" Sasuke asked.  
"From my caretaker."  
"Your caretaker."

_Itachi..._ Sasuke thought _Of course..._ He felt himself get angry and confused. _He must have known I was with Sakura all this time... He definitely has something to do with it... And I am going to find out what!_

Sasuke looked directly at Sakura with penetrating eyes.

"Sakura..." he said with grave earnest "Tell me where your caretaker is or expect a fight back."  
"I've been prepared for a fight back." Sakura replied "So I refuse to tell you."  
"Is that so?" Sasuke said his voice a little deeper "Then let's get serious!"

Sasuke closed his eyes for a few moments. He then lifted his head up to look Sakura straight in the eyes. Her emerald eyes meeting his crimson ones, complete with three black blades.

Sakura's eyes widened. _Just like..._ An image of Itachi looked down at her flashed in her mind. Sakura suddenly fell to her knees with her hands to her head. The throb she felt earlier when she was speaking to Itachi returned, this time with much more intensity.

_Look Sakura..._ said a familiar as the image of she and Sasuke standing on a street she's never seen before _I have other things on my mind... Don't bother with me..._

Sakura cringed as the intensity of the throb increased. Pieces of it came back to Sakura, her memories.

Sakura could see it. An image of her and Sasuke sitting together in the rain an unfamiliar setting._When I think about revenge, it's like I'm running after him..._ She could see him having an outburst and her trying to comfort him. _Come with me, Sakura... To my apartment..._ An image of them embracing in an apartment, and then of him trying to kiss her. _I can't kiss you..._ Sakura heard herself say _It isn't fair... Not for me and not for you..._ Sakura suddenly felt a strong feeling of conflict as the memory passed.

Sakura's eyes shot open. "You're..." she said while looking up "Uchiha... Sasuke..."

Moments passed as Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke looked at each other in silence. Sakura looked around her confused and frustrated. "Where am I?" she said with fear in her voice "What's going on?" She looked at herself and noticed her clothing as well as the shape of her body. She looked up at Sasuke. The expression on her face was nothing of relief. "What's happened?" Before Sasuke could answer--not that he was able to answer--Sakura clenched her eyes and brought her hands to her head again. An image of her and Sasuke together in Feint Village flashed in her mind. How they met, the time they spent together, and eventually their intimacy with each other ran through her mind.

"Sasuke..." Sakura said in disbelief "Did we really... Did we spend that time together... In that way?..."

Sasuke read the look on Sakura's face. Her eyes were widened and her brow came together in the middle. She looked almost scared considering the issue. He didn't want to answer her. All he could do was look away and nod.

"I s-see..." Sakura said, her voice trembling.

"Why did you do that, Sasuke? Why did you do that?! I wasn't even wholly myself at the time. Even after all that you knew about me... You still..." a growing sense of anger was in Sakura's voice "I didn't want to make love until we were really in love! Why do you think I didn't kiss you the first time when we both knew I wanted to?!"

Sakura turned around towards the wall. She pressed her head and palms against it, unable to face Sasuke who stood behind her. Tears began to flow heavily. Soon enough, she started crying. Sasuke watched on. It had been a while since he last saw her cry. It was something she did frequently in the past, most of the time it was for his sake. However, as she stood crying before him, he realized she was crying for herself. In fact, she was sobbing.

"Sakura..." Sasuke said, taking a step forward.

"Don't." she said heaving a heavy breath. "Don't come near me."

Her voice was resolute, Sasuke relented.

"You know," she said, calming down a little from her sobs "it's stupid... I remember something of the past and the first thing I do is get mad at you..." she wiped her eyes and turned away from Sasuke and towards the door "You're an idiot, Sasuke." she said as she left.

Sasuke looked at the empty space before him. "You know," he said look at the door Sakura left through "you're right."

He looked at the night sky where a cold wind came to accompany the the accumulating dark clouds. A storm was coming.

----- 

(Long) Author's notes: Ahhh, what a slump I'm in! I'm afraid to say I'll be busy in the coming weeks, so if you think these chapters have been coming in slow, you haven't seen the worst of the wait. But fear not! As I've said before, I'm too far into this story to stop. This fic will be completed, that I swear.

As an added note, and also as an excuse, the Naruto manga AND anime have been lacking in Sakura exposure, so that is certainly not helping with inspiration.

Thanks for reading!

P.S. Does anyone want to be an LJ friend? It's pretty boring having none, so I'm asking here. I like reading and getting into entries, so if you don't put much thought into your lj friends, pass on me.


	18. Eluding Life

**Chapter Eighteen: Eluding Life **

NOTE: manga spoilers, I don't even remember what chapters. If you aren't following the manga translations, maybe you want to stop reading this. Otherwise, proceed with caution.

NOTE 2: this note is being written about two years after I went on hiatus so I've lost everything I was thinking at the time. The manga has progressed so far since the chapters I read before writing this, so it's really out of touch with the main story (though, such is the nature of the fanfic). Right now it's more important for me to keep in touch with the mood of this story than what's going on in the manga. Although, I guess it doesn't matter too much at this point. Enjoy!

----------

First came her name. _Haruno Sakura_. Then _Konaha_. _Kakashi. Naruto. Ino_. Sasuke.

Her relationship with Sasuke as Haruno Sakura. It was different from the one she's been having with him recently... At least the situation was different. She was different... An image of herself following Sasuke flashed in her mind... _There's something similar going on..._ Sakura thought _A similar feeling that I can see in retrospect..._ Sakura saw an image of Sasuke looking straight into her eyes. He had been speaking to her about his fears and anger concerning his brother. He looked at her, but she didn't feel like she was being looked at.

She turned away even though she was alone. A feeling of anxiety rose in her chest. More memories came to her in a random order. Some were warm memories, while others made her feel like she was walking on thin ice.

Her memories jumped. She and Sasuke spent nights together in his apartment. Then Sasuke suddenly went after Itachi and she followed...

They fought...

She could see his eyes... The look in them scared her... She wanted to stop that look...

Sakura saw herself in her memory jumping between Sasuke's attack and Itachi. She absorbed some of the impact, but for a split second she could feel a shove coming from Itachi's direction push her away. Then everything went black.

The flow of her memories stopped. Sakura hesitated. She wasn't sure if she wanted to dig deeper into her memories. Sakura felt like she was walking on thin ice again.

Haruno Sakura felt the upward press of the cold ground. Her eyes were too heavy to open, but her body was perfectly able to feel the ache in her chest and the coldness of everything around her. There were voices.

_"Hey look," said a rough male voice "it's another body..."  
"What should we do with her?" said another voice._

_A moment of silence. _

_"I have an idea... heheh" _

Sakura cringed and held herself closer. The thin ice had just collapsed.

-----

Groups of travelers buzzed by Sasuke who sat alone at a table in one of the larger food stalls. He slowly ate his meal not noticing the passing travelers. He slowly lifted food to his chin, then after opening his moth, his carefully placed the food onto his tongue before pulling it in and chewing. Sasuke's meticulous eating decoyed his apprehension at the coming meeting. As travelers came and went, a darkly clothed figure entered the stall and sat at the table behind Sasuke. The two were the only ones sitting still, Sasuke and Itachi.

For some reason, Itachi and Sasuke were meeting each other formally, as in they agreed mutually to discuss matters. All the chasing Sasuke had done most of his life was made sunddenly simple when Itachi agreed to speak with him. Just like that, they agreed to meet. It was puzzling, but there were not many options for Sasuke to choose from.

Sasuke finished his meal. Pushing the plates away, he folded his hands and looked straight ahead of himself while focusing on Itachi who still sat behind him.

"What questions can I answer for you, brother?" Itachi asked.  
"Can I trust you to answer me?" Sasuke asked not as a retort to the past, but as a simple and earnest question.  
"You can trust me." Itachi replied "There's no reason for a dead man to lie to you now."  
"Why won't you reveal you are still alive?"  
There was a careful pause from Itachi. "Why should I?"  
"I'm sure there are a lot of people who you could benefit from if they knew you are alive." Sasuke replied, though he was the one asking qustions.  
"Is that so?" Itachi said coolly.  
"Just answer the question."  
"I've spent all of my life trying to surpass the boundaries that kept me from going stronger and stronger... I had to eliminate our clan in order to free myself from the expectations our members are held up to. Those expectations chained me to a certain destiny of limited power. We are given a different expectation that is usually higher than that of any other ninja, but that expectation isn't high enough. Not only that, but it is too narrow. Why are we limited only to being policemen? Common guard dogs of a government... So I had to free myself from that boundary. In order to fully master my sharingan, I had to sacrifice a close friend. I had to surpass the boundary of sentimental attachment to other people... In doing so, I was able to obtain a great power...Now think how much stronger I could get by surpassing life itself. I can do as I please if people think I'm dead. I'm no longer in the bingo book, I'm no longer on the run from someone. I am eluding life without being dead. The only thing I'm limited to is my own strength and endurance, factors that I alone can determine...So that is why."

Sasuke looked ahead of himself with his eyes wide open. How high was Itachi aiming? As much as Sasuke understood what Itachi was saying, he was shocked as to how far Itachi was going to gain his strength. Eluding life, he says. Could that be the thinking of a genius? Or of someone far more dangerous... Sasuke considered his next question.

"Why are you having Sakura kill all those men?"  
"It is a side project for me..."  
"A side project?"  
"I consider it something I give Sakura to do in order to make money. But there is another purpose in having her do that... All the men who Sakura killed are wanted for one reason or another. Some were criminals, some were government officials, and all were wanted dead. Each person plays a pivotal role in whatever scandal or situation he was involved in. In each scandal or situation, it worked out best for myself and others concerned if they somehow turned up dead. Having that done by Sakura, whose real identity has been through the obituaries, in a place like Feint Village made an easy and convenient way of having them murdered possible."

Sasuke paused. All the answers were coming to him so easily. It was almost wrong that it was so easy... But he continued on.

"Why Sakura?"  
Itachi seemed to pause in thought. "Because I found her."  
"You found her?" Sasuke said almost annoyed at such a simple answer "She didn't mean anything to you. You've never even met her before that night we fought... You could have easily left her alone."

Itachi paused again, unstirred by Sasuke's comment. Sasuke continued to be annoyed. Itachi was making it so simple even though for Sasuke the whole situation is beyond complicated. So complicated he doesn't have any priorities straight. The man he's been chasing is sitting right in front of him. But all he can do is ask questions about Itachi and Sakura. Nothing between the two of them makes any sense. But is that even important now? Sasuke couldn't tell. He hung his head, looking down at the table. Suddenly he had a massive headache and felt fatigued. Itachi could visibly see the strain in Sasuke's mind, he spoke.

"Why do you bother with these questions; they are essentially useless. I could easily ask you questions that seem pertinent, but will lead both of us no where... Why won't you fall in love with her? Why do people want to share pain? Why does Konaha want to forget about me? There are a lot of questions we should ask, a lot we shouldn't. There are a lot of answers that matter the most, and other that don't."

Sasuke looked up at Itachi, who continued to look at him with a blank expression.

"What does it matter now, brother? Things have happened and here we are."

Itachi's terse words sunk in with meaning. Sasuke thought about Itachi's words and about the situation. What were they going to do now? He looked up again only to find Itachi gone.

_Here we are_, Sasuke thought, _but where will we go from here?_

----------

Author's Notes: it's been a very long time, I know. I will stop apologizing because it can't be helped. But here is a new chapter, so you know this fic has not been abandoned. Also, my train of thought for this fic was interrupted. Now I have to rethink a lot of the remaining chapters. Expect more delays, but no complete stops. (sounds like a traffic report)

I'm sorry to say that since I'm sloshing through these chapters at this point, I will probably stop paying too much attention on the fine details of things. As long as this story makes some sense, that's fine. Let's get some progress going!


	19. Bit by Bit

**WARNING**: This chapter contains sexual content. And it's not the happy kind. And since it has been a long while since I started working on this fic again, I suggest reading the last few chapters if you haven't already done so (I realized how little I knew about the story even though I was the one who wrote it!).

Chapter 19: Bit by Bit

Sakura lifted her hands out of the water rubbed her heavy eyes with a yawn. She was exhausted from lack of sleep in the past few days. Every time she closed her eyes, a chasing feeling of anxiety and dread rushed through her as if keeping them closed would lead to bad things. It was a little childish and very unhealthy, but Sakura couldn't help her fears, they seem to creep up on her more and more these days.

She kicked up her legs and rested them over the edge of the tiny tub she presently sat in. After checking into one of the inns, Sakura had no hesitation in using every luxury she didn't have at the house. While the tub at the inn was less spacious, it was also much warmer since it didn't rely on a simple camp fire to heat it up. With winter approaching, travel began to dwindle. The roads from Feint Village to elsewhere were becoming ever so slightly more difficult to travel.

Upon regaining herself, Sakura felt pieces of herself rattle bit by bit. Her residence was familiar to her and yet somehow very foreign. Her own identity, even, was foreign to her. Who she had been recently wasn't really her, or so she believed. But Haruno Sakura is from a past that felt so long ago. Even now, Sakura's memories had large gaps in them. What had happened to her and what will she do now?

The dizzying logistics of getting her life back in line pushed her to make a bold move. Seeking space from Sasuke, Sakura left him at the home to check into her current room. The next day she would leave immediately for Konoha. Before doing anything else, wanted to find out what happened to Konoha. She planned to assess the situation before taking any action.

And leave a small gift for her mother, certainly.

Sakura looked at the door of the bathroom. Hanging on a hook was a gorgeous red robe made of silk. On the back was a beautifully embroidered cherry blossom branch, a luxurious robe for her mother who had given Sakura the taste for a relaxing bath. This much she could remember. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes to picture her mother in her mind. It had been years since her mind had even thought about her mother, the image is blurry and strangely dim.

_Seeing her will refresh my memory..._ Sakura thought.

-----

It was a long trek from Feint Village to Konoha. First Sakura had to situate where Feint Village actually was and then find her way from there. She made it in about two weeks with almost nonstop traveling. The feat seemed like nothing for Sakura who had been unable to sleep to begin with. The hour approached dawn as Sakura approached the outer gate of Konoha. Even here, where the weather is almost always sunny, gray clouds hung over the night sky. With everyone at home in their beds, Konoha seemed like ghost village. The quiet dark seemed to highlight Konoha as being part of a distant past. Sakura closed her eyes. It had been a little more than three years since she's been here. Throughout her non-stop trek back to Konoha, Sakura was continuously seized by the same feeling of dread from the day before. The closer she moved towards her home village, the heavier the feeling got. But she kept going, though somewhat unwillingly, moving forward back towards her past.

A woman's scream echoed in her mind. Sakura's eyes hastily shot open. Still without sleep for almost weeks, Sakura took a step towards the village she knew as Konoha. She passed all the familiar sights. The academy, training grounds, even Ichiraku Ramen. They were all there, but Sakura couldn't tell if they were the same. Had her memory forgotten about these places and what they meant to her, or had something fundamental actually change since she's left? A cold breeze brushed against Sakura's back. The sudden chill caused her to turn towards the ground. She caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection of a puddle. Moving towards it, Sakura noticed for the first time how different she was. She looked more mature, of course, but she was surprised to see how raw she had gotten. On the surface, her features were the same, but her eyes... Her eyes were more pronounced and bolder: tired from a general exhaustion as well as her recent lack of sleep and sharp from the realities of blood and murder. These things were a part of her now and this change was irreconcilable. Her reflection rippled as the wind blew something into the puddle. Looking up, Sakura headed towards the village graveyard.

The graveyard was divided into multiple sections, but the general layout separated graves into two main groups: graves for the deceased whose body were present and those whose bodies were lost, the latter section being called Memorial Row. As a ninja village deeply involved with politics outside the country, it wasn't uncommon for bodies to be missing and never recovered. Death in action was the usual culprit, but there were a few incidents of personal entaglements such as Sakura's .

She went directly to Memorial Row. It was small, but still considerable in size. Each memorial, like each grave, was identical with each other. A short black decorative column, in the front printed in gold was the name of each person and the date that person was declared "unrecoverable", which essentially meant dead. Sakura's date spanned only a few years ago. Sakura was sure her mother pushed the search for her for as long as possible. Sakura smiled vaguely. Despite everything that is going on, she still held onto that daughterly instinct to seek her mother's comfort.

She looked at the grave one more time. Sasuke was recently connected with her death, which was clearly not true as Sakura stands in Konoha perfectly alive. However, Sakura wouldn't doubt Itachi's information; a man on the verge of brilliant insanity could only tell the truth. Sakura had to find out what Sasuke's status is and why he had come to be in this position. Turning for her next destination, she headed towards Hokage tower.

She was sure the only reason Sasuke didn't follow her is because he didn't know what to do for the time being. And to a lesser extent she acknowledged that he knew she would at least make a vague attempt clearing up his situation for him. Why else would she be here?

Sakura vaguely recalled the security at Hokage tower being a little lax at times due to the one of many bad habits the Fifth had, but this was almost ridiculous. Breaking and entering might have been tricky, but finding a useful document was no problem at all. It was as easy as finding something hidden underneath the mess of the Fifth's desk. A report on Sasuke's offenses lay carelessly unfiled and unstored right next to an empty sake bottle. Sakura took the report, copied it, and put it back tediously in the exact same position she had taken it. Hopefully the Fifth will be too hung over to notice anything had been tampered with. With Sasuke's papers in hand, Sakura headed home to finish up one last piece of business.

-----

The Haruno residence is a modest home for a modest family. Sakura's family was not as prestigious as the Uchihas, but they were respectable and made considerable contributions to the community in the little ways that they could. Their home would be best described as cozy. The kind of home that was good for raising a good girl like Sakura. Sakura was happy to come from a home and family like hers. It is a place of memories and happiness.

However, as she stood in front of her home it was immediately apparent that it had been abandoned. Most of the windows have been boarded up, the paint was beginning to chip, the yard looked like a wild forest._What's going on?_ Sakura thought as she stepped towards her once familiar, but now alien home. It made sense that her parents abandoned their home as it was, after all, a place of fond memories for them.

Cracking a twig she stepped over, Sakura looked behind her startled. No one was there, but a large cherry blossom tree caught her eye. Her mother had planted before she was born as a symbol of hope for the future; it was her favorite plant life in her garden. Year after year they would sit out in the front to watch the blossoms bloom. The blooming season was always so beautiful, but always so brief. Something so beautiful and delicate was never meant for longevity. Sakura recalled how the flower petals seemed to fall so sadly, no matter how pretty they actually were. Ironically, as a symbol of her mother's hopes and dreams, the cherry blossom tree was now dead. Although Sakura was sure cherry blossom trees didn't necessarily need the same kind of nurturance as a regular garden plant, it seemed it had died off simply from having no one to appreciate it. It stood before her devoid of leaves and life. The spiky quality of its branches was foreboding, as if to tell her to go away.

But Sakura was determined.

Walking through the entry way, Sakura couldn't help noticing the darkness of her home. Everything was still. While every piece of furniture remained neatly in place, there was thick layer of dust everywhere to attest to the home's abandonment. As she walked in the dark, the wooden floor began to creak.

_creak... creak... creak..._

Walking through her home in the dark, Sakura began to realize she was having a hard time recognizing the house itself. While she knew where everything was, she felt like a stranger intruding upon this nice family's residence.

_creak... creak... creak..._

The floor continued to creak in the silence of this strange house. Sakura, suddenly scared, felt as though the creaking was following her.

Her childhood reflexes kicked in and pushed her to run to her parents room. She dashed from the hall, past the kitchen and living room, and to the the stairs leading to the bedrooms. She shut the door of the parents room, taking a few moments to let her heart calm down before turning to see their room. The first thing she noticed was the cold. The window was still open.

Sakura turned around. Before she could take in anything, a sharp pain ran through her temples in a flash. She looked up at the room, but all she could see were shadows hidden in the flashes of her mind.

flash  
_There was the figure of an indistinct woman dressed in black, crying to herself in this very room. _  
flash

The room was becoming familiar, but to someone other than Haruno Sakura.

flash  
_The indistinct woman turned to her with a gasp. She had an expression of grief and relief._  
flash

No, this was not a forgotten memory. Sakura knew about this all along. The memory had burned itself so deeply into her guilt that her body began to move in the exact way it had the night it happened.

flash  
_"All I wanted to do is see you again..." she said smiling behind her tears._  
flash

flash

_-thud-_

Sakura's mother fell to the ground.  
flash

Sakura stood exactly where she stood as she watched her mother fall. The connection had just been made. Sakura killed her own mother in what was technically cold blood. She stood there for long moments. Not moving. Not thinking. Not feeling.

Not anything.

Suddenly, Sakura realized she was exhausted. She couldn't fight it anymore. She walked to her room and fell onto the bed. Without a moment's hesitation, she fell into a deep inescapable sleep.

-----

Surrounded by darkness, the screams returned. Flashes of red soon followed. In the depths of her sleep, Sakura could see red eyes looking at her as she lay helplessly on the ground. As she had feared all along, the same dream that had been haunting her followed her as she fell asleep for the first time in weeks. Darkness, red, and screaming. Sakura sat up desperately trying to wake herself. Short of breath and sweating, the images continued to come at her relentlessly as a heavy throb in her head pursued. It was a sharp pain. A pain that had been hiding for years, finally resurfaced. This time, it let Sakura know she was not dreaming. This pain is not a nightmare. It is a piece of her past and this time she was not escaping.

(begin flashback)

She woke up barely breathing. A throbbing pressure that had been building up her lungs threatened to burst its way out through any avenue available. She could tell that there was some kind of chaos around her, too chaotic for her to comprehend. At least to some extent she knew she didn't want to register any of it. It was scary for her to realize this. It was scary to realize she had no idea what was going on. She didn't know where she was, who was with her, or what was happening. She couldn't even see around her. Were the lights off? Was she blind? Could it be both? Why couldn't she understand what was going on? Maybe it was a psychological defense mechanism for this lack of control, for this helplessness. Instead of understanding the situation holistically, it came to her bit by bit. First, she couldn't breathe. This usually involuntary act for some reason took a conscious effort. Then she felt a pain. A miserable aching and fatigue, one that feels like it had been dragging on for a long time. Then she realized she was laying on her back. Pushing up against her was a freezing cold dirt ground. Pushing up so hard pieces of rocks and debris was breaking her skin. Oh god, her body ached so badly. Where was this pain coming from?

Then she noticed tears were streaming down her face. Something was definitely happening. Something she didn't like. She finally collected herself enough to regain short erratic breaths. Without know exactly why, she instinctively tried to scream. The sound came out muffled. A cold and calloused hand covered her mouth. It pushed down harder at her attempt to make noise.

It quickly became apparent to her that more hands were holding her down, and some were doing more than that. Multiple hands moved hungrily up and down her body, like beasts feeding on a decaying carcass. She began to struggle her way free, wanting immediately to get away, but she couldn't. Collectively the hands were more powerful, and she was particularly weak. In trying to move, she felt a sharp pain go across her chest. This pain was not fresh, it must've been at least a few days old.

The men who own the hands registered as buzzes in her ears. She still couldn't see them, but she knew they were there. Someone had to be controlling those awful hands. The buzzes intensified in what seemed like realization. One hand reached up at her collar and ripped her shirt and everything underneath open. The hands quickly followed. Repulsive, grimy, and most of all cold. Reacting to their hands, she flailed and struggled with all her might. Disgusted by the feel of their skin against hers, she could feel the acidic insides of her stomach force its way up from the back of her throat. Delirious and refusing to stop struggling against their grip, she moved her head to the side and vomited. The sound of her spew provided a strange and welcomed distraction for her as the hands continued despite her reaction.

The buzzing intensified again. This time a hand reached for the hem of her pants, clumsily pulling them to her ankles. Sakura fought even harder than before, with every bit of her strength she had. But it wasn't enough. She could hear the rustling of clothing all around her. She, now sobbing, braced herself as an unwelcome pain invaded her body. The pain of friction forced its way in and out of her. One man after the next took his turn. Still fighting, she turned her head, eyes searching desperately in the darkness for something else in this world. Surely this was a dream and that reality was just beyond this group of hands. Looking around her, she could only see darkness, but she could hear the screams of other women who were suffering the same fate. She anchored herself onto the screams of these women; their pain distracted her from her own. The screams belonged to an individual woman, each having its own peak before suddenly being cut off.

Eventually the other screams all disappeared. There was nothing in this world to distract her. This was reality. The wild grinding of a man (multiple men) against a woman. It was so carnal and so vulgar. She began to struggle less with resignation. She was tired and in pain from more than one wound. She couldn't take it anymore, she couldn't struggle. Feeling less and less like she belonged to this body, she went limp. With no more struggle, her eyes glazed over. Just before closing her eyes with the darkness, she could see a figure standing at a door that she had never noticed. A figure stood there, watching her intently with crimson eyes. She ignored this. It didn't matter any more. Too tired to do anything else, slowly, she faded away.

(end flashback)

-----

Author's Notes

I have no idea why I always put Sakura in the bath. Perhaps it is the ideal place for contemplation. I also don't know if photo copiers exist in the Naruto universe, though this is just a trivial thing.

I'd like to thank everyone for all the reviews as they are all very encouraging. I'd also like to apologize to readers who started reading this fic years ago, especially since I don't have the same writing style as I used to (it's much more boring these days because of the academic papers I've had). This chapter in particular felt like overkill to me.

So anyway, look forward to the next few chapters. As I've said before, they'll come slowly but surely. Maybe this time it won't take three years to get something posted.


	20. Need

**Chapter 20: Need**

(begin flashback)

Sakura drowsily woke up feeling weak and sore, but was comfortably nestled underneath layers of warm blankets. Taking a few moments to adjust her blurred vision, she took notice of the sound of a crackling fire. Looking in the direction of the sounds, she could see the flames burning in a small fire place. Hunched before it was a figure clothed in a long black cloak with a red pattern going around it.

The figure turned.

(end flashback)

-----

(told from Itachi's POV)

I was heading to the hideaway, the meeting place for the men I usually employed for my menial tasks. They were a band of scoundrels who for whatever reasons sunk to petty crimes. For almost any price they would do almost anything that involved little thinking. They were useful and surprisingly efficient for their uses. They also had a taste for women, which were scarce in this area. Almost no stray women were spared.

It had been a week after she interfered with me and Sasuke. I pushed her out of the way of my brother's attack as a reflex. That split second was enough to distract me. She absorbed most of the attack, but not all of it. The rest was taken by me and was enough to knock me out for a day. The men picked up my body and brought me to my place. They picked her up as well.

That is how I found her.

She had lost a lot of blood from the wound left to her by my brother. She was weak, but she still fought and struggle through most of the ordeal. Her pathetic form could only manage a few wiggles and frantic turns of the heads, though I could see in her sobbing eyes that she was giving the fight of her life. When she stopped fighting, I was sure it was because of lack of energy. No one could go on with as little blood she had and the wound that had caused her blood loss. The damage was doubly worse. When her body went limp and for a split second she knew immediately that I was there. But as she looked at me, I realized she wasn't looking at me in particular, but to anyone who could help her. Her eyes pleaded to take her anywhere other than here. Any life other than this. The clarity in her eyes were fading away. Out of exhaustion and emotional damage, she was slowly disassociating from the situation, from this world, from that body. Then she was gone.

The group of men pulled away from her. Simple and sick as they were, they were very ritualistic and almost formal about killing the girl. As one man left to fetch a blade, the rest formed a circle around her. A man returned with a blade, while the rest of them looked on. The man raised the blade to strike at the unconscious body. I watched the blade race down towards her. Within a split she would have been dead. But I stopped him.

The men could only grunt in disappointment and walk away. I looked down at her. With her clothing ripped opened and in tatters at her sides, her whole body was exposed. It was decorated with cuts and bruises, the most serious one being on her chest. Blood stopped flowing out of her wounds, leaving dry blood clots on her skin. Only the blood coming from out of her crotch was still fresh.

She was pathetic.

She didn't regain consciousness until a week later. I was tending to a fire that was keeping the room warm when I heard the sound of rustling coming from my cot. Her placid eyes looked at me in wonder. The flames from the hearth reflected in her now clear eyes. She didn't question where she was or what she was doing in my bed. She didn't question anything about the situation. She only looked at me with eyes that asked what to do next as if that kind of dependence on me were only natural.

Perhaps she knew by instinct that she was not perfectly well and that she would need me to recover and survive. Perhaps that is why she was always compliant with everything I said. Also by instinct, she knew what kind of person I was. She knew I was a bad man who did bad things even to good people. But she needed me. Perhaps that is why she always stayed.

Need. It struck me as a strange feeling.

(end Itachi's POV)

-----

Sakura stood in the middle of her darkened room. She was very still. Looking around her, all her personal effects glared back. Pictures of friends and family. Various cosmetics. Dolls and other cute things. All were pieces of her past, things belonging to a girl she used to be. Looking around her, it felt like she was losing air.

She began to breathe deeply with her eyes closed. The throbbing in Sakura's head continued. Each piece of memory that returned to her began to pile up in her. Even if she wasn't in the right state of mind, even if Itachi had something to do with it, in the end Sakura killed her mother. It was her hands, her blade. Waves of guilt, anger, and sadness coursed through her body. She could feel it run through her finger tips, ready to burst.

_All I ever wanted to do was say good-bye..._

With a grunt, Sakura swung her arm across the top of her bed-side table, knocking over her lamp and framed picture of Team 7. Her breathing still heavy, Sakura looked around with hot tears streaming down her eyes. Undisturbed by the sound of shattering glass, Sakura began to thrash her room. She ripped off posters swung things off of dressers, pulled off her clothing and bedding. Every piece of her room was knocked down or destroyed. Her attention then turned to her vanity mirror. She looked at her reflection again. In her tears she thought she saw blood splattered about her face and hands. Cringing at the sight, Sakura punched at the mirror. Once, twice, over and over again until it was completely shattered. She sank to her knees sobbing, her bloody knuckles clutching onto the top of the table.

"That's not good for you, you know." said a male voice.Sakura turned toward the voice. There stood Itachi, looking at her in he broken state with blood running from her fists.

"You remember what happened to you last time you lost a lot of blood." Sakura only scowled at him as a walked towards her as her tears stopped at his sight.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded. "I came to see you." was his simple reply. "Bullshit." "You're a harsh woman."

Sakura drew her kunai to his neck. She pushed the blade against his skin hard enough to draw small drops of blood.

"Can you really kill me, Sakura?" Itachi asked.  
"No. But it'll be worth dying in the attempt!"  
"I mean is that what you really want?"

Sakura pressed her kunai harder. Quiet moments passed with no further movements.

"Do you notice the familiar way you talk and act with me? You know me just as I know you. You know that I am a bad man who does things even to good people. I know that you used to be a good girl, but when it comes down to it, you're no exception to shedding blood. You may realize you are Haruno Sakura now, but that doesn't mean the Sakura from the past four years ago never existed. You know me and you needed me. Nothing is going to change that."

Slowly, Sakura released her pressure and dropped her kunai to the ground. He was right. She and Itachi do have a past with each other. Even if she was physically able to kill him, she couldn't.

"Why did you have me kill my mother?" she asked.  
"Why _did_ you kill your mother?" he replied highlighting that she had actually done the act "Ultimately, you could have declined killing that woman. Ultimately you chose to because you needed me and so you did as I said."  
"You made me kill my mother to test my loyalty?"  
"I know what need is and how it feels. But between a woman like you and a man like me, need is something completely different and I was interested in it."

Itachi stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her. She trusted him in the past, and truthfully she trusted him even now. Instead of immediately trying to break away from his hold, she stood there without moving. His smell, his warmth, and his body contours were all familiar to her. Their relationship was aloof, but there were rare moments of intimacy, of closeness, that they shared. As someone who was broken and alone, those moments brought her great comfort in her isolated world in Feint Village. He was the only person she knew and she clung desperately to him as her main source of keeping together. She _did_ need him.

But she was whole now.

"I don't need you anymore." she said into the silence.  
"No." he whispered "I suppose you don't."

Itachi released Sakura who started walking past him. As she approached the door, he spoke out to her.

"Are you going to see Sasuke again?"  
"What of it?" she asked.  
"He's wanted for murder, you know."

With no reply, Sakura walked out of her room. As she walked further away from the room, Itachi whispered after her.

"And so are you..."

-----

Author's Notes

This chapter is a little short because it was originally planned to be part of the previous chapter, which would be way too long. I'm a bit of an ItaSaku fan, mostly because I like each character separately a lot. Sakura is great (especially in these recent chapters) and Itachi is a hottie (I'm a little older, so I tend to like the older men), so this thin connection in my mind is what drives my liking for the pairing.

I'm still a SasuSaku fan, though. Woo-woo!

Some things in the author's notes are rhetorical.


	21. Build and Release

**Chapter 21: Build and Release**

Author's Notes: **WARNING!! THIS IS A LEMON CHAPTER** and it's explicit so don't it read if it makes you squeamish! This is my first attempt at a lemon with not-so-flowery descriptions (I just hate using the word "manhood"). I used italics for the lemon portion, so you can skip it if you'd like.

-----

When I first started spending my nights with Sakura I saw in her eyes a kind of vulnerability that I couldn't turn away from. In her eyes I could see she was lost and broken and deep down inside I knew it was my fault. Sometimes I would catch her looking off into the distance, search for something... Or maybe mentally running away... She'd turn to me, that distant look still in her gaze, and pierce me with that look as if to blame me directly for all the things that went wrong in her life. v

She was perfectly right in doing so. Here she was in a place far from being home, her family long dead, and her used body serving as bait for murder. Even if Sakura couldn't remember herself, even if she never rejected this life, she couldn't possibly accept it. No one should be able to accept this kind of life. I knew she felt dirty, guilty, and more than anything she felt alone. And it's my entire fault.

I comforted her the way men and women comfort each other. When we joined bodies there was nothing but two bodies melting together. No guilt, no loneliness, no scars... Every night together was a blur, but if Sakura could escape the pain, even if it was only through a purely physical act, than that would be what I will give her. It was all I could give her.

-----

Sakura returned from Konoha after two weeks. Tired and a little beaten down, Sakura, without much explanation, took Sasuke out to the porch and began talking to him. She told him everything she learned while she was gone. As Sakura went deeper into her story, her recollections began to tumble out of her, almost uncontrollably. There was an urgent need to let someone know what had happened to her, to let someone know that this really happened. Her experiences were real. The status of her family, remembering her rape, her encounter with Itachi. Thinking about the events in her past, realizing none of it was a dream began to hurt. She knew nothing could be taken back, but it was still painful to remember. Sakura plunged into a stunned Sasuke's arms and began to sob.

Sasuke sat terrified as her slender form shook so violently that it seemed she might shatter. He was paralyzed with guilt, only able to hold her and nothing more.

Snow quietly fell to the ground. A thin layer of pure white blanketed the ground. Sasuke and Sakura remained silent in the same position of embrace. Sakura had calmed down, relaxed by the falling snow. She pulled back, still looking at the ground.

"I know..." she started softly "everything... I understand now."

Her expression wasn't angry or spiteful. It was an expression of full acceptance and a little sadness. Sakura looked at Sasuke in such a way that let him know this concerned him specifically.

"I _know_." she said again, her voice still quiet but resolute.

The second Sasuke peered into Sakura's eyes, an entire conversation had flashed between them with no words spoken. They knew in an instant what they wanted from each other and why. They knew that unlike before, they were both stable enough to make rational decisions. In this moment, they wanted to be reunited in the specific way they know how.

-----

_Sakura and Sasuke entered the familiar scene of a mostly empty room lit by a single candle._

_Sakura pushed Sasuke down onto the mattress, directing him to remain upright as he sat. Sakura lowered herself to her knees in front of him, leaning forward so that she had to support herself with her arms, her face intimately close to his. _

_"Is it too much for me..." she whispered "to ask you to need me?"_

_She moved even closer closing her eyes as she pressed her lips lightly against his cheek. "Could you need me tonight the way a man needs a woman?"_

_"Yes." Sasuke replied in a breathless whisper. A sigh escaped him as her moist tongue slid from the base of his neck to the corner of his jaw. "I need you."_

_Sakura pulled open his shirt. She left a slow trail of light kisses from his neck to his waist. The contrast of cold winter air and Sakura's light, warm breath made Sasuke especially sensitive to her soft lips against his skin. When she reached his waist she pulled at the cord of his pants with her teeth, pulling the waistband down with a suggestive tug. With a smile, Sasuke removed his shirt and pants and returned to his original up right position. The smile on Sakura's face was playful and needy. She removed her shorts and shoes so that she wore only her mesh top and underwear. She got on all four and crawled toward him like a cat stalking its prey. She moved forward so that she was hovering above him. She dipped her body down so that the tips of her breast grazed his chest. She then slid her head further down, allowing her slick tongue mark its trail again from the base of his neck slowly to his waist. She was hungry for exploration, for those spots on Sasuke's body that drove him mad._

_Her lips found their way to the area around his dick. She kissed lightly but deliberately around his hardened dick specifically to tease him, to make him notice how close she was, to make him feel every particle of her that touched his skin. Keeping her southern position, she looked at him for eye contact and shot him a mischievous smile. Without breaking away from his gaze, Sakura touched the tip of dick with her tongue and gave a slow short lick. She ran her tongue around the head before enclosing it in her mouth. Sasuke groaned and fidgeted in his, wanting desperately for more contact. Sakura gave the tip of Sasuke's dick a light bite before releasing Sasuke, eye contact still unbroken, and sitting up in front of him. She smiled again._

_The now naked Sasuke sat up straight, his heart beating fast, body temperature significantly raised. Sakura leaned back resting her weight on her elbows and pulled her legs out in front of her, opening them just enough to be indecent. She was quite suggestive. Sasuke knew immediately she was handing control over to him which he was eager to seize._

_Sasuke gently pulled off each article of clothing from Sakura's body as if to suggest she stay in the same position until he told her to move. He was a bit of a control freak in bed, but Sakura enjoyed that in a man._

_"Look at me." he said aggressively "Don't you dare turn away."_

_Assuming her role, Sakura nodded at him helplessly. She watched as Sasuke spread Sakura's legs apart and used his index finger to trace the throbbing slit between her legs, juices spilling just over the lips in anticipation. Approving of his brief inspection, Sasuke locked his intense gaze onto hers making sure she doesn't look at anything else except the back of her eyelids while blinking. He lowered his head to her pussy, licking slowly and tentatively upon Sakura's folds. Sakura moaned, her muscles becoming tense at the unbearably patient pace Sasuke had decided to start with. He continued, taking one slow lick and one slow lick down, while continuing to watch Sakura's eyes rest upon him. He took extreme pleasure in her furrow brow and slightly open mouth, panting. Hungry for more, Sasuke closed his eyes and delved deeper into Sakura. Increasing his pace slightly, Sasuke explored the inner regions of Sakura's pussy, licking up eye drop of wetness he had built up only to create more. Sakura writhed and squirmed in her place, still holding the same position, but wanting badly to push her hips forward and bring Sasuke closer to her. Sasuke steadily increased his speed, moving his tongue around her in way he knew would bring Sakura to her breaking point._

_Sasuke waited for the deep throb which let him know she was right there. Unable to bear it, Sakura took the weight off her elbows and lay on her back, moaning to be pushed over the line completely. Sasuke had other ideas. He sat up to look at Sakura who was still panting, her eyes closed in pleasure._

_"I told you not to look away." Sasuke said with a sigh, though this was not a disappointed sigh. He stood up on the mattress. Looking down at Sakura, he led her by the chin onto her knees. "Please accept your punishment."_

_Sasuke gently ran his right hand through her hair, stopping before reaching the ends. With this hand he held the back of Sakura's head, bracing her. "Look at my dick." he said firmly. Sakura abided, knowing exactly what he had in mind. Her eyes watched in anticipation as he slowly inserted his hard dick in her mouth which she accepted readily. "Now look at me ."_

_Without a motion of agreement, Sakura's eyes moved from the top of Sasuke's crotch, up his firm and rigid chest, and back to his eyes which were now a glaring red. Sasuke pulled his dick in and out Sakura's mouth in slow, pronounced movements to allow her time to salivate and massage his dick with her tongue. Sasuske especially enjoyed the way her blood flushed lips felt plump against his skin as though even her lips took pleasure in the act. He quickened his pace for several strokes, before slowing down again. Sakura watched Sasuke's head tilt back, eyes closed in pleasure, as she felt Sasuke push his dick further into her mouth. The head of his dick pressed against the back of her throat, causing it to tighten and salivate. Tears filled Sakura's eyes in response, but she was more than ready to accept this._

_Sasuke paused to see Sakura's gag reflex. He knew it was painful, but Sakura was willing and he was excited. "Once more." he said huskily._

_Sasuke made a few quick thrusts, each stroke causing him to get a little harder, before making one strong push into Sakura's throat, getting it as deep as her throat would allow. Sakura gagged, but did not back away as Sasuke held his position for a few moments, admiring Sakura's subdued position. He pulled himself out, taking pleasure in the saliva that dripped from Sakura's mouth. Gagging is grotesque to see, but somehow extremely satisfying at the same time. Sasuke felt no guilt because he knew Sakura enjoyed it as well. There was something satisfying in being completely submissive to him sexually. Sasuke re-entered Sakura's mouth, this time making no pauses for a build-up. His pace was immediately fast and hard, causing the blood in his dick to increase. Sakura could feel Sasuke get harder and larger in her mouth, the head of his dick again reaching the back of her throat. Sakura felt a violent throb in Sasuke's dick, which he immediately pulled out with a loud groan. Now he was the one who was panting. Sasuke laid back on the mattress and motioned for Sakura to join him to signal he was relenting his control. Sakura laid on top of him, resting her head on his chest as he pulled a single sheet over them. The heat of their bodies and the musk in the air was more than enough to protect them from the winter's cold. Sakura inched up closer to Sasuke's face to kiss him gently on the lips._

_"Tell me the truth," she said quietly "because we both know it already."  
"I'll tell you anything." Sasuke said in a whisper.  
"You don't love me, do you?" she asked._

_Sasuke paused. Moments of silence ensued._

_"No. I don't."_

_Sakura pulled her arms behind his head to hug him close to her. Sasuke cupped both sides of Sakura's face to pull her in for a kiss. Sakura pulled away to look down at him. Her emerald eyes were as clear as he has ever seen them, penetrating him to the soul._

_"Sakura..." he whispered, closing his eyes as he rested his hands on the side of her hips which were lowering themselves onto him._

_Sakura guided Sasuke into her, savoring the feel of his hard muscle piercing through her tender flesh. Sakura moved her hips at a slow pace, still holding Sasuke close, listening for his quiet moans. Sakura increased her pace, moving herself to the point of orgasm while moving consistently enough to pull Sasuke along with her. Sasuke could feel himself get close._

_"Wait." he said pulling himself away from Sakura to pull out a condom. "For the both of us."_

_Sakura resumed her position after Sasuke slipped the condom on. After building up a rhythm again, Sasuke took a little more controll by thrusting at a fast pace. Sakura moved with him. As the speed and intensity of their thrusts steadily increase, both Sasuke and Sakura could feel each other become more tense around them. Sakura sat straight up as the pleasure spread throughout her body. She pounded faster and harder, greedily seeking more pleasure until her pussy clenched around Sasuke tightly, spilling an excess of moisture around him. Unable to take Sakura's wild movements, Sasuke pulled Sakura to him, clutching as his dick twitched in orgasm. Sasuke groaned into Sakura's ear in pleasure._

_The two of them immediately relaxed. while still enjoying the high of their orgasms, Sasuke pulled Sakura off of him to take off the condom. Still resting on top of Sasuke, Sakura whispered into his ear._

_"I don't love you either."_

-----

In the silence the followed after Sasuke fell asleep, Sakura looked up at the ceiling with tears quietly rolling down her eyes.

"I can't love you..." she said aloud.

-----

Still half awake, Sakura laid on her side looking at the darkness of the room. Sasuke slept behind her almost peacefully. Sakura shifted onto her back, resting her head on her folded arms. She satisfied, yes, about having the opportunity to claim Sasuke physically. No woman can resist the pleasure of bringing a man over the edge. At the same time, Sakura ruminated over the truth of their situation. The almost peaceful Sasuke slept, but she was well aware it was a light sleep. There is no peace of mind for either of them at this point. Sakura entertained ideas of living happily ever after for many years, but she let them go knowing it wasn't possible. Occasionally in recent times Sakura would entertain these ideas again, regardless of how convoluted their situation was. Sasuke was, after all, with her right now. Her and her alone.

But this isn't happily ever after and Sakura knew it. What brought them together was a string of tragedies leaving both of them nothing to hold onto except each other. They were in a situation where if they were found out, both would lose. Sasuke is wanted for Sakura's murder. As soon as Sasuke is discovered, he will surely be trialed and punished. Although Sasuke could easily prove his innocence by revealing the whereabouts of Itachi, Sakura would be discovered and would most certainly be punished. Itachi's involvment wouldn't change the fact that it was her hands that killed those men. For this reason, Sasuke never made a move. And somehow, Sasuke could sense there was no home for Sakura in Konoha. After her visit, he could see in her eyes a sense of permanent loss. There was nothing left.

Sakura's eyes lazily drooped as she slowly fell asleep.

-----

It was past dawn. In her dreams, Sakura could hear Itachi's voice whisper to her.

"He is wanted for murder..." Itachi's voice echoed. More faintly followed his final words "...and so are you."

Sakura sat straight up out of sleep. A growing feeling of horror spread through her being. She turned to Sasuke who had fallen deeply asleep. Violently, she shook Sasuke awake.

"SASUKE! WAKE UP!!"

Hazily, Sasuke struggled to look at Sakura who he could already tell was in a panic.

"Sakura..." he said rubbing his eyes "What is it?"  
"Sasuke, we have to leave. NOW."  
"What?..." Sasuke said confused "Why?... I don't-"  
"We have to go!" Sakura yelled.  
"Well... let me get some-"  
"NO! Don't bring anything!" Sakura said standing up getting dressed "Just get dressed. We're leaving!"

Sasuke abided without further question. Sakura had him running out of the house full speed. Still sleepy, Sasuke could barely keep as they made the trek down the mountain towards the village through the freshly fallen snow.

It happened so fast.

Sasuke watched Sakura turn back to him as they ran. She was hastily explaining something to him, but somehow he couldn't hear her. Maybe he was too tired. Or maybe he knew what was happening the instant it started so it didn't matter what she said.

Sakura turned to look ahead of them only to notice a familiar figure in a long black cloak lined with red clouds. Icy red eyes looked back at her. She stopped dead in her tracks, just barely noticing Sasuke appearing in front of her before being engulfed in a white light.

-----

Two silhouettes walked amongst a pure white light. The taller figure, a male, walked in companionable silence with the shorter figure, a female. Both looked straight ahead of each other, neither looking back.

-----

Naruto raced to Feint Village so fast he was breathing heavily and exhausted. But he was optimistic. After Sasuke suddenly disappeared in his search for the Haruno's killers, a deeply concerned Naruto left Konoha to look for him without even telling anyone. It's been months, maybe even a year or so, since he's made contact with headquarters, but the mere possibility that he might find his friend got him so energized he couldn't look back. Naruto was a little dense, but he could find anyone if he really wanted to. All the clues lead him to this place, Feint Village.

It was still dark when Naruto set foot in Feint Village. He observed the empty street, wondering exactly why anyone would be here. He made his way to the end of the street where there appeared to be a dead end. Nothing. A little disappointed, Naruto looked at either inn to see if there might be someone awake to take him in. With his back turned to the dead end, Naruto could distinctly feel flower petals fall to the ground behind him. He turned around. The boarded off path seemed more inviting than he had originally realized. Abandoning the idea of rest, Naruto ventured beyond the dead end to investigate.

He moved deeper into the path so that he could no longer see the village behind him. The air was eerily quieter than the empty streets. Even among the woods there were no sounds of leaves rustling or animals stirring. It was as if everything was dead. The sight of cherry blossom petals falling appeared before Naruto in the distance.

This was defintely a sign.

Naruto raced ahead, almost excited about discovering something. He knew he was close. When he got there, Naruto fell to his knees with his eyes wide open with disbelief.

"No..." he said defeated.

Just before the sunken Naruto was a pair of bodies. Both hardly a few hours old in death. There was Sakura, laying on her back peacefully in quiet surrender. And then there was Sasuke on top of her, arms spread out appearing as though he were protecting her. Both of their chests were cleanly pierced in the heart. Blood pooled around them.

-----

"I think Naruto will be mad at us for leaving him. He hates being left out of any journey." said the female voice.  
"He'll just have to deal with it. He can catch up with us later." her male companion replied.

Peacefully and quietly, the two figures walked beyond the horizon until they could not be seen.

(FIN)

-----

THE FINAL REALLY LONG AUTHOR'S NOTES (I really like writing these things)

Yay! I'm finished! The ending probably turned out worse than it could have been because I lost interest for the longest time. The important thing is that I did indeed finished so let's all throw confetti!

To be honest this fic spiraled into something I wasn't altogether happy with. Mostly it was sloppy and I'm sorry to those who noticed this. The fic as a whole turned out a lot darker than I originally had planned, but with the way I set things up this ending seemed like the only way to end this story with some class (and raunchy lemon). Still, I loved writing this piece. It's my first really long story and my first attempt at a lemon, so regardless of it's short-comings I love it (beast of a fic though it may be).

Also a note about the lemons aspects. You probably don't need to hear this kind of speech, but some people don't know and I don't want to feel responsible for others getting the wrong idea. First of all despite the mild shades of roughness on Sasuke's part in the lemon scene, Sakura and Sasuke were both consenting adults. Mutual consent is important! Second, protection. If there is lemon, there should be protection. As far as lemon goes, take care of yourselves! Also, if this story gets deleted because of the lemon content, please let me know so I can upload this elsewhere.

Thanks to everyone who has read and review this fic. Writing for the fans is another strong point of motivation. So thanks!


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